Episode 3 – You Can’t Judge a Blade by it’s Clover

Pickaxe You've seen them around, they sell sweets by the pound They're aware of the famously tasty So here I sing, singing to you Of crimes involving chemistry Clover's the whisper, she makes all the sweets She has a corn dog addiction Benton's the sly, she sleeps in a safe And writes vampire fanfiction Franklin's the cutter, his fighters strength Despite his dance, his heart The best and brightest, they may not be But that's my favorite part So gather round, friends Endless and close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to I am your Game Master, Sean O'Hara Joining me is always-playing Fen Beasley The Spectre of the Spectre Sly at Abdulaziz.

Hello, everybody. Playing Franklin Stein, the cutter, Paul Oppers. Hello, everybody. Stop. And playing Clover Ivy Fern, Jessica Tai. Hello, everybody. I'm gonna fucking slit your throats if you guys do this. When last we left our heroes. It's just here's the ligament. The waning knife. No! Slice, slice, slice. I actually did it. Today we're continuing our game of World of Blades by Duam Figueroa based on Blades in the Dark by John Harper.

When last we left our friends and heroes, the Cool Treat Kids, they had begun their plan to break up Seamus Seamus and Kesserin ropes via a haunting. Their plan was to convince Seamus and Kesserin, who think that Clover Ivy Fern is deceased, that they are both being haunted by the spirit of Clover Ivy Fern. Yeah.

They got some supplies in the form of clothing and makeup from the Goth Library LARPers, the study group, as well as a smoke machine in the form of a chain-smoking elf named Randy Beefs, who lives in a big box. And the plan was to follow them to each of Seamus' favorite date spots and engage in that haunting. So we went to Chili's, Arctic-themed restaurant, and scared the shit out of them. Then we went to Poof's and wrote in their food, Alphagetti-style, that Seamus should not trust Kesserin.

And that the message was from beyond the grave, love Clover. And then also, almost for no reason, we created an emergency in the kitchen. Which led to Borbo almost being fired. And a skilled chef losing his status in society by chopping off his finger when we flickered the lights. He went from up there to way down there. Damn it. And to save Borbo's job, you all, well, except for Fenton, agreed to be banned from Poof's for life. But then I ended up getting banned for life.

Yes, as Fenton took it upon himself to stash some of Clover's lavender hair in Kesserin's hair. And we ended with Kesserin finding a strand of violet hair, lavender hair, amongst her own hairs. And that is where we find our kids now. Engaging in the third of three hauntings? Yes. This one taking place at the pool. Yeah. Yes. I think we're maybe back in the tunnels. Yeah. Reviewing the plan. Yeah. Okay. So what's the plan? So we've hit up Poof's. We've hit up Chili's.

Wiping them off the whiteboard. Yeah. And now I draw the crystal pool. Takes me a bit. About ten minutes. Just busy yourself with something else. Yeah, we're eating popcorn while we're watching you draw. So now this is the pool. And then this spot here is the hot tub that is the meetup zone. The listeners, you could not see the aggressiveness with which Jessica pointed at her fake drawing. Amazing. The pillars that surround the hot tub are ideal hiding spots.

And we're going to have to hide the smoke machine somewhere around there. But make it prominent enough this time to beat out the mist of the hot tub. And he sneaks in there after dark, right? Yeah. So we can, there's probably like this is going to be the spookiest one of all. Yeah. Because darkness is scary. Right, guys? Yeah, you're darn right it is. I'm thinking we could maybe visit the Batman and get some bats. Because I know Seamus, one of his dislikes are the bats in his bedroom.

So, what do you think? The Batman is a competitor of the Ratman? No, they're cousins. Yeah. The Batman. Yeah. Okay, so you're going to the Batman to get some bats. Yeah, 100%. Step one of this plan. That makes sense. We'll get some bats. We'll take the smoke machine to the pool. Sneak it in after hours. We'll sneak it in after hours. We can bring it in before hours and leave it. Totally. Oh yeah, that's a good idea. Stash it? Yeah. We'll have to get our spookiest swim trunks on, I guess.

Yeah, we can make some swim trunks out of this weird Victorian swim trunks are so scary. Not an ankle in sight. The stripy ones? Yeah. Okay, I'll stay here then and make the swim outfits. Okay, thank you. Sweet. And we'll go to the Batman. Okay. Sick. Where does the Batman operate? He finds you. What are you? There's a signal that you have to turn on. You have to find a mirror and say Batman five times into it and then he appears behind you. That's really scary. That is scary.

And Fenton kind of thinks that he might be a vampire. He might be. So how are you guys summoning the Batman? Okay, yeah, we find a mirror. The mirror thing is real. Yeah, we're going to do the mirror thing. This is what we heard. Yeah, totally. It's kind of like Bloody Mary. We think we're hiring somebody that's like maybe fictitious. Gotta try the Batman. And we have to go to the scariest bathroom in the food court to do it. Yeah. There we go. Okay. The one that's in the maintenance hallway.

Yeah, nobody uses this one. With the flickering light in it. Except for janitors. Yeah. So, yeah, you're facing a mirror. Flickering light dripping from somewhere. Oh, God. Okay, here we go. Okay. You say it twice and I'll say it the last time. Okay, wait, what? Five times? Five times. You say it twice and then I'll say it once and then you say it once more and then I'll say the last one. Okay. Okay, here we go. Batman. Batman. I was going to say it twice.

Okay, you say it twice and I say it once and you say it twice and I'll say it once. Batman. Batman. Batman. Batman. Batman. Batman. Batman. Batman. Batman. Batman. Batman? Batman. Batman. And the lights go out. Batman, is that you? And the lights turn back on and standing behind you in a cow and a cape is the Batman. What do you want? Yes. Hi, Batman, sir, Batman. Batman, why did you call me? We need some bats. We need your scariest bats. All bats are scary. That's why I dress like one.

Oh, that's what that is. Yeah, it's homemade, so you can't really tell that it's a bat. Why is your voice like that? I have a sinus infection. When you spend enough time around bats, your nose gets all fucked up. Oh, yeah, they have that fungus. Yeah, it's like a nose fungus. Yeah, I would get that looked at. There's no doctors in the dark space. Oh, no. Your cousin, the Rat Man, is a good friend of ours. He stalks the ground shadows and I stalk the shadows of the sky.

I can barely understand a word you're saying, Batman. I think he said he stalks the ground shadows and he stalks the shadows of the sky. Yeah. Whoa, that's pretty spooky. You're a pretty spooky guy, dude. He's an ally. He's an ally? Yeah. Come on, don't make me repeat stuff. Show you why you need some bats. How much is a bag of bats? Oh, they're free. Oh. Oh. Bats are fear, and the more fear I put out into the ball, the greater my whip powers are. He said it's the greater his white powers are.

Oh, yeah. That's not what I said. What did you say? I said the greater my weapon and powers are. Oh, sorry. Okay. Well, then you might be interested in the job that we're about to pull, because we're going to scare a couple of kids so bad that they're going to break up with each other. Sounds fucking sick. I love fear, and I hate love, I guess. I don't know. Do you want? Yeah. So you need some bats. We need some bats. Yeah, we need some bats for this job.

What's the best way to release them, to get them really riled up? Bats. Bats are always riled up. At least my bats are. So where do you need these bats to be? We need them. We need to take them to the crystal pool for tonight. Tonight? Yep. Okay. Do you know how to get in there? Do you know? I'll figure it out. Okay. And he says, hey, could you grab that for me? And he points to something behind you. Yeah. What is it? We turn around to look at it. What is he pointing at?

And he turned back, and he's gone. Can we just hear this? Yeah, you hear, in the vents, you hear a banging. So the Batman has agreed to take some bats to the crystal pool tonight. Cool. And that he'll figure it out. That's great. Thank you, Jessica, for introducing the Batman. I love the Batman. Thank you for allowing me to workshop that impression. That's great. Christian Bale's Batman. It's very funny. I love it. It's, yeah, it sounds like it's closed. Yeah, for some reason he had that.

Okay, yeah, so that's, you got bats covered. Yeah. Cool. And Clover's working on the outfits. Yeah, I'm sewing the Victorian swimsuits. Should we make Clover roll to see how good these swimsuits turn out? Yeah, totally. Yeah, I'm cool with that. Yeah, let's just roll a fortune die. Four. So, okay, they're middle of the road. Tell me about them. They are prison outfits. I didn't know the difference. Awesome. Awesome. So full length sleeves and pants. Like stripy prison? Yeah.

Or like modern orange jeans? Yeah. Or like a jumpsuit. No, like Brother Where Art Thou? Totally. Yeah. Yeah. And there's like a shackle attached to each of them. Yeah. That actually will be super spooky. Oh, yeah. Chains? Yeah. Perfect. It might be a bit of an impediment. We might have less effect with our mission. Well, Fenton still has less effect from drinking so much sour cream. Yeah.

Part of the less effect is like every, I have to take a break from all of our planning sessions to go to the bathroom. Yeah. And the worst part, the worst is when he does it. And he doesn't take a break. So you guys have been making him take a break. Break time. We set an alarm. Yeah. Okay. So you've got the swim outfits. Yeah. Well, quote unquote swim outfits that are all linked together via chain gang style. Yeah. Ankle chains. We have to move like Weekend at Bernie's for this whole time.

The Batman is going to show up at some point with some bats. Yeah. We need more smoke than there is at the hot tub. Do we need to do anything to up our smoke game? Yeah. I think Randy's like, look. I got some stuff I can smoke. Do we have to get this thing to the pool then now? Yeah. I can't do it for me. Oh yeah. We should get our little like, um, what are they called? Like those radio, radio flyer. Yeah. Oh yeah. Totally. The big wheel. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, you're going to be at, you're going to be pulling a red wagon with a bike. Yeah. So good. And I've, when I cut Clover's hair off, I was given an idea to, to come up with a disguise for her so she could come out and help us with it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've taken the Mrs. Gilbert disguise, which is a blonde wig. Uh, and I've just removed the blonde wig and I've given it to her. Thank you. Yeah. I've never been a blonde before.

Hey, well, you know what they say? Blondes have yellow hair. Yeah. That was my favorite Marilyn Monroe movie. I started doing Marilyn Monroe poses like, Ooh. Oh, it is me Seamus, but I didn't notice you because I am a hot woman. And Fenton and Franklin are actually kind of like, Whoa, You can see Greg is like working on something in the corner of the room and he turned around and goes, Oh no, that's going to be a problem for him later. Clover, you look different. Yeah, I'm blonde. My God.

Why are you standing there like that? And the fence starts doing like, Oh, very good. Get pumped up. Starts doing like a one-handed push-up with no feet. Whoa, what? I am also gonna show my physical prowess and then he lifts up his shirt and he turns his belly button into a mouth and he's like, nice hair, Clover. And I'm like, I guess I'll also do my physical prowess. So I start doing like, I don't know, jumping jacks or something. Like this? And then Borbo walks in on this scene.

Yeah, he comes roller skating down the corridor just into the alcove that this is in and is like, what's going on? He's showing off. Hey, Borbo. Alright, cool. And he starts just like jackknifing his legs back and forth with his rollerblades on. Cool. Check it out. It's like I'm running but I'm in place. Anyways, guys, I got fired. Oh, shit. Fine. That place sucked. Was it our fault? No. I challenged Jared to a fight after work. So I was like, hey, man, if I fight you and I win, I own poofs now.

What? You guys were fighting for pinks? Fighting for pinks, bro. And he was like, alright, fine. But if I win, you're fired. And I was like, no problem, Jared. You're a little drip. No contest. And he knows his shit. He absolutely whooped my ass. Oh, you let him win. No, I wish I let him win. I'm amazed. I honestly really like that guy now. He kicked the hell out of me. Oh, my God. Alright, so Clover has a disguise in case she gets caught in the pre-haunting.

I think it's just so we can all get to the crystal pool and sneak this thing in. Yeah, so I put our costumes in a backpack. Got my blonde hair wig on. Nice. I'm gonna bring this untested gummy bear. Oh, smart. I don't know. It may be too early to use, but no, it's good to have. Oh, yeah. And I have my mushroom. Yeah, we still have to use that. Okay, so this is to sneak the smoke machine into the pool before it closes, right? Yeah.

Okay, so this sounds like it's gonna be a group action, which is the one where you all roll the same action. Yeah, but one person takes the lead. Okay, what are you rolling and who's taking the lead? I don't know. I'd say Sway, because we're trying to… I feel like it's a Fenton thing, but that's just my vote. Yeah, that works. I'll do that. So everybody's rolling Sway. And for everybody that fails, Fenton is gonna take a stress. No. Wicked. Here we go. Okay. Two. Four. Four. Fuck. Shit.

Did we all fail? I know. The four is a mixed success. But you take a stress for Clover's two. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. That's okay. Mixed success. What's the mixed success here? Like, we get to leave it, but it's, like, locked up in the security guard's office. Oh, yeah. You're gonna have to crack it out before you… Okay, cool. So, yeah, you walk up to, I guess, the entrance to the pool, and there's a lifeguard slash security guard there. Oh, it's Mindy. Oh, shit.

Because Mindy was a lifeguard, right? Oh, right. So I put my hood up, and I'm just like, hey. Hey. Franklin. Hi, Mindy. It's been a while. It's been a while. How are you? I'm fine, I guess. I mean, that dance is coming up soonish, right? Oh, the Sadie Hawkins dance? Yeah. You still care about that? I do. Well, I mean, I… Do you care about it? I mean, yeah. Oh, okay. Well, I mean, in that case… I mean, not really. Oh, well, no. Yeah, no, me neither. Yeah. But, like… I mean… How you been?

I'm… I'm good. How's your dad? He's fine. What am I doing? But, I mean, like, if you did care… Yeah? Maybe you'd want to go with me. That's what I was just gonna say. Yeah, you did say it. You're so smart. Nah, you're so smart. You're really funny. Am I? Yeah. Anyway, yeah, so you want to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance? I would love to. Deep bow curtsy. He does a curtsy. And she laughs. Like, oh, okay, cool. Well, then I'll… Okay. Awesome. Yeah, then I'll meet you at the Light Depot. Cool.

Okay. Thank you. So, what are you… Sorry. Hey. Hey. Fenton? Who's your friend? Uh, my name is Dan. Okay. Yeah, this is our friend Dan. He's, uh, he's from another school… Mall. He's from another mall. Another mall? There are other malls? Yeah. Whoa. I'm from Vertgrass Mall. Whoa. Yep. Cool. So, you're just coming to hang… Check out the pool? Yeah, I just… They're gonna take me on a tour through the pool. And I'm gonna figure out where I want to splash the most.

He's never been to a pool before. I've never even seen water in my life. Vertgrass is a coastal city. Whoa, whoa. I mean, we've got… This is one of the best pools ever. So, maybe the best pool in the whole world. Whoa. With one of the best lifeguards in the whole world. Oh, you're so sweet. She, like, blushes a little bit. Yeah. Um, yeah, so, I mean, you guys got… Can I see your tickets? Do you have tickets? Ah, that's the thing. We're just kinda hoping that we could… Oh.

We just wanna go on a tour. We're just going for a bit, just to show them around. We're not gonna stay all day. I know you could get in trouble. I'd really appreciate you taking this on. I could. I really could. Okay. Alright. Fine. Okay. Okay. Make it quick, though. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Whoa. What's this? What's this? This? Yeah. Is our… It's our… Yeah, these are our swim trunks. Are in here. In this box? Yeah, in that box. Can I see? Oh, no.

I'm really embarrassed about my swim trunks because they're… I didn't know what a swim trunk was. So, it's… So, it's a lot of underwears. A lot of boys' underwears that boys would wear. And I don't want girls to see them. Oh, yeah. Okay. I remember being that age. Okay. Okay. Then, yeah. Go. Just make it quick. Just make it quick. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Okay. If you get in trouble, let us know. We'll take the heat. I will. I'll see you in a couple days. Okay. Bye. Okay. Bye. Call me.

I will. Hey, Franklin. Did you see what I did? Okay. Bye. Nice. You got a date? Holy shit. I got a date. You got a date to the Sadie Hawkins dance, my friend. I'm very nervous. It's with the girl you like. Oh, my God. Was I cool? Does it sound cool? Did I look cool? Oh, yeah. It was pretty cool. It was super cool. You made all the cool words that you had to make. What about that curtsy, though? That felt weird a little bit. I didn't… The curtsy was honestly the best thing you did, probably.

Really? Some more curtsy? Yeah, I think so. I have to do it again. I seem to win her over. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Stop talking about her dad, probably. I don't know where that came from. Great. Then we see, you know, the Cool Treat kids wheel their smoke machine to where they want to hide it in the pillar. They go splash around a little bit, I assume. You're not going to waste this opportunity to splash in the water, probably. Yeah, I just go in to my ankles of all my wigs and stuff. All your wigs?

The hoodie I'm wearing. Great. And my mushrooms. And we see the Cool Treat kids walk away with their box where it is, and then things start to close and a security guard kind of toddles up and goes, what's this? And then takes the box and wheels it into the lifeguard station. Sweet. So, yeah, the box is in there. Cool. Anything else that you want to achieve before you wait and sneak in? Maybe we're hiding out in those public bathrooms by the swim pool. Oh, yeah. We stay. That's a good idea.

Then we camp out here. That's a good idea. Then we won't have to break in. And they have free dinner here. Remember the garbage bins? Oh, yeah. There's free garbage here. Okay. So you're going to hide out in the bathrooms? Yes. Okay. Roll a fortune die for me. One die. Three. Alright. Is that good? Some time passes, and you're all hiding out in one of the bathroom stalls.

You know, every once in a while someone comes in and tries to use the stall that you're all hiding in, but you just keep it closed, and they get annoyed, and then they take a huge shit in the one next to you. You know, like pool shits, too? Never good. A lot of people are taking shits today. People are running a train on this bathroom. It feels like it should have closed like 20 minutes ago. They actually had to keep it open, because that is the thing.

There's a line outside the bathroom, so it's open for a little bit, past closed. People are like, you can't close right now, man. I'm so close. Maybe we should clean the pool. Everyone think about that? We might have E. Coli in the water. But eventually, the lights do get darker as you realize the sun setting through the giant glass roof, and night falls. The pool is closed. What do you do? The Batman shudders in the dark somewhere. Darkness. I guess it's time to get in our costumes. Yeah.

Let's do it. Okay, powdered wig. We have a powdered wig on, and we're wearing a prison costume. Yeah, I brought two powdered wigs just in case. I didn't know. And as you guys get out and you're putting on your costumes in the bathroom, you hear squeaky, squeaky, squeaky, squeaky, squeaky, squeaky. Jenner! Hide! Kill him! No, no, no! I jump in the garbage bin. I jump back into the bathroom.

Alright, everybody, this sounds like a group stealth action, or a group lurk or prowl or whatever it's called. Someone else should lead it, because I don't have any of that. I have two in prowess. Yeah, I have one in prowess. And if it's a finesse, then if we're all hiding. Yeah. I'll take one more die. Okay, here you go. Oh, I have two in prowess and one in finesse. Yes, you get three. And we all roll? Yeah, everybody's rolling. Either your prowess or your finesse. Okay. Six. Six, three.

So you take one stress because Fenton failed. Is three a fail? Yeah, one to three is a failure. Which means that Franklin saves Fenton from getting caught somehow. Yep. He went to go under the stall and I got wedged. And then I had to do an elaborate, like, because I was going over the top and I had to, like, stop halfway, like, and then a handstand and then go swing under and kick you into and then swing back. That's Winnie the Pooh style. Yeah.

Yeah, and you hear squeaky squeaky as somebody wheels, like, a mop bucket in and mops up, muttering to themselves. And just a few minutes pass and then they leave. Sticks like shit. You know, you think that after 40 years of cleaning up shit, you get used to it, but you just get more angry. And now you know what? This is why I haven't shit in 15 years. Can't do it. Won't do it. I refuse. This is a gum wrapper. There's a garbage can right here.

He throws it and you can hear him throw it in really hard. Oh, this guy needs to shit. Oh, he throws a gum wrapper on top of Clover, I guess. He's hiding in the garbage can. Alright, I guess I gotta take out the garbage. And he starts closing the bag. I, uh, I, I, Barry, down and I rip a hole through the bag. Oh, nice. And that's your moderate success. He almost took you away, but then he pulls it and doesn't realize that all of the garbage comes out of the bag. As well as a 12-year-old girl.

I guess I have been working out. And Squeaky, Squeaky, Squeaky walks out. Oh my god. I was almost put into the garbage. Oh my god. I'm gonna go in the pool. I feel so gross. Good idea. Yeah. Alright, Clover runs out into the pool. Yeah, I sneak, I'm sneakily going into the pool to wash myself off. But I still have my swim costume on. Totally. So the crystal pool at night is quite eerie, because it's just like towering structures, shadows cast by like moonbeams cutting through the glass ceiling.

The wave pool's on all the time, so now it just has that quality of like a storming sea at night. You know, the moonlight and the crashing waves. But besides that, it's almost totally silent. And you go down and you wash yourself up in the water, and then you hear voices in the distance. Who is it? A light under the water slides. Oh. I look. What is it? Is it Seamus? It seems to be, yeah, a bunch of like lanterns, like little beach lanterns, kind of. With kids' voices floating out over the park.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Getting your positions. I'm gonna stay in the pool. I eat the mushroom. I don't know what to do. Yeah, okay. Uh, fortune die. Just to see how this works. Nice. Ooh. Holy fuck. Roll the worst. Shit. Which I think means you start to go translucent. Like you can see your fingers start to go clear. Cool. But then the not totally successful thing that is still terrifying is just your flesh is going clear so you can see your bones underneath.

And you look and you can see like organs and shit, so you just look like a weird like anatomy skeleton. Don't look at me! Oh my god. Don't look at me! Close your eyes! She is wearing clothes, so you can see her. Sorry, I misspoke. You can't see organs through your shirt, because you're wearing an outfit, but you do see like eyeballs, a skull, teeth, missing teeth, because Clover's missing a bunch of teeth at turns out. And then I think, oh wait, this might be perfect. Fenton pukes into the pool.

It's immediately washed away, by the way. Oh my god, Clover, you look awful. I'm so sorry, just close your eyes and make like some quiet clanking sounds. Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank. And you know that the kids are gathered near the hot tub now. How far away are they? I'm so bad at numbers, but they're like, you can see the lights, and you can see people moving, but you can't see clearly who it is. Okay, so it's like other side of the pool? Yeah. Okay, make clanking sounds.

Where's the smoke machine? Clank. Oh, fuck. The smoke machine's in the goddamn fucking… I'll jump out of my chains. Yep. And I'll try and make a mad dash. Do I have to roll? You don't have to roll to get there, but you get to the security guard zone, and it's a locked door. Oh, damn. There's like, you know, one of those windows that slides open, but that's locked too. Shit. I would like to finesse the door, skirmish the door open. Skirmish? Uh… Finesse the door open.

Like you're putting like a stick or something in there to try and jimmy the latch? Yeah, what do I have? Wrecking tools. I have a slingshot. And you're just gonna smash the window? I'm gonna, well, I'm gonna flick the door, the lock open. I'll lean in the window a little bit that I can, and slingshot the lock. Okay, so that, yeah, so the only thing that that might do is make a bunch of noise, but it's still worth a shot. Fuck yeah. Do it, do it, do it! Two. Two. Shit. Oh my fucking god.

I'll take a stress. Yeah. Or no, sorry, devil's bargain. Devil's bargain. Okay, so… What's the bad thing that happens no matter what? I leave something behind that lets Mindy know that I broke it. Oh yeah. Oh shit. Yeah. Fuck! Like a piece of my Tux t-shirt, something that I'm always wearing. Yeah. Or one of, just like a weird candy thing. Like one of the Cool Treat Kids, like, candy swords. Oh, the gummy bears that you brought. Oh yeah. Oh, gummy bear. Experimental gummy bear. Yep.

You leave a gummy bear behind unknowingly. Damn. But yeah, go ahead and roll it. Fuck! Six! Yes! Whoa! Worth it. And you snap. You shoot a little ball bearing or whatever into the lock, and it I shot the gummy bear. That's what it was. You shot the gummy bear. To be quiet. Yeah, totally. And it snaps, smacks into the lock and sticks, but slides open, and you're able to get in through the window. I got the smoke machine. Oh, thank god you're here, kid. I was getting bored.

Randy, do what you do best, buddy. Start smoking. Alright, get me close. I'll make it spooky. Okay. Thank you. Okay. Oh god, okay. Guys, I got it. So we wheel it close to the hot tub. Yep. In behind one of the pillars. Yeah. And we're all on our own pillar, I guess. Is that what you… Yeah, I'm still in the pool, I guess. Yeah. Trying to stay out of sight, because you're extra scary. So you see all these… Eyeballs and a brain sticking up above this pool.

Oh yeah, if you like, come out of the pool. That's my plan. That's so scary. Sick. How did they think you died again? Nobody really said anything about how she died, just that she did. Yeah. Okay, so we'll go over there, we'll start making clanking noises, and then Randy Beefs is gonna start smoking, and then it's your time to shine, Clover. You come out through the smoke, that's so creepy. That's what I'm gonna do. Creepy.

So you guys get close, like you set up the smoke machine, and you can see all the kids that are there. It's, uh, it's Seamus, and Kessarin, it's the other two Pixie Stix. Uh-huh. It's, uh… Some, it's one of the, like, wild Noggs, who seems to be dating one of the Pixie Stix. Uh-huh. And then it's Penny. Oh, what the fuck is this? Penny's here too. Yeah, Penny just is there. With who? She's up by herself, man, she's like nine. It's much like Fenton is hanging out with Clover and Franklin.

Penny's just kinda there, like, eyes wide, looking at everything, like, she's kinda bobbing around in the pool. Okay. Alright, I was gonna lose it if she was there with one of the wild Noggs. You don't like her anymore? Yeah, but I still don't want her to date one of the wild Noggs. But Fenton, you don't, like, own her or anything. She's her own woman. I know that, but I still want to control what she does. Fenton, that is a big problem. Fuck, I know, okay?

Whatever, she's her own woman, I don't care. Use that as a compass to work on yourself. Now let's get this scaring done. We're gonna talk about this later. Okay, fuck, fine. I'm fucking nine, okay? I'll put it in the Journal of Things to talk to Fenton. It's this tome that I carry around on the back. Uh, okay, so you're gonna get Randy to start smoking? Yeah. Randy, do it, do it! Okay, here we go. I hope the Batman knows our signal. Yeah.

And the smoke starts billowing out of the smoke machine, rolling across the floor. Wait, when's that? Yeah, what is going on? Why is it so smoky? And then Clover starts crawling out of the pool. And Fenton's making chain clanking noises. Yeah. And all the kids are looking around. He's going, clink. Seamus! I told you. Clink. I would be back. And then I come out of the smoke, and it's just, like, my skeleton in a prison. Yeah, she's taking her, oh, you have an outfit on. Oh my god.

Uh, terrifying. So, everybody, this sounds like it's gonna be a group action sway, maybe, to scare them. So everybody's gonna roll a sway. We're doing this. Okay. So who's leading it? Fenton? Oh, Clover. I think Clover's leading it. So Clover's gonna take a stress for everybody that fails. Okay. Here we go. Yep. Give me a six, baby! Five. I got a six. I got a three. Ah! Alright, six. So Clover takes a stress for herself. Cool. But, uh, but Fenton pulls it out somehow.

He makes it absolutely terrifying. Yeah. Oh, Tom. And, uh, the way he does that is he knocks on the box, and he goes, Randy, you gotta kick it in high gear! Say no more, kid! And you can hear him putting uh, cigarettes in between each of his fingers. You see him charging up, he's unplugging all the batteries from all of his vapes. You trained for this, Randy! Ha ha ha ha! And he goes, and just, boom! A shockwave of smoke emits from the smoke machine.

And then as that's happening, Fenton jumps on top of the of the box, cause he notices a bunch of bat boxes above the hot tub that are like, stuck closed. Uh-huh. And he like, grabs them, and then rips them open, and a bunch of furious bats come bursting out of these boxes. And in the dark, Franklin is running circles in the shadows, cause now he's not afraid of shadows, he's running around and swirling the smoke in the bats into this like, tornado around him. Yeah.

But I'm standing there, I'm like, Kassarin… I am coming for you. You betrayed me. And, like, now that this is all set in, there's like, shocked silence for a second, and all the kids start shrieking. People are like, tumbling over each other, trying to get out of the pool. Like, uh, the two pixie sticks take off, the wild nog, like, wets himself and then takes off. And Kassarin's just like, Ha! Ha! Ha! And Seamus is like… And he's still just bobbing and like, doopity-doop.

And he's watching a bat just swirl around. Mmm, a rat. And Seam… Oh, flying rat! Cool. And Seamus is like, Clo… Clover? It is me. Seamus. What happened? Kassarin told. She told on us. And this is what happens? This is… And then from the smoke you hear us go, Tina Durgerskin does a life. Tina Durgerskin does a life. Tina Durgerskin does a life. Tina Durgerskin does a life. Even the Batman in the ceiling is like, What the fuck? Those are some good intimidation tactics.

These kids are fucking terrifying. And Kassarin screams and jumps out of the pool. And Seamus even jumps up and he looks at you terrified for a second, but also kind of sad. And then he runs away too. And they're all screaming like, Oh, he runs and then he turns and looks, you know? Yeah, he looks and he looks at your gooey skeleton one more time. And as he looks, my hair starts coming back. But then I vanish into the fog. Oh my god, into the cloud of bats. Yeah. Oh my god.

And as they run away, uh, Fenton shrieks like that high-pitched nine-year-old shriek. And he's like, You're next, Kassarin! You're next, Kassarin! Nice one. Amazing. And they all burst out of the pool. They're all screaming. They were trying to be sneaky because it's after dark, illegal kid times, but they just are screaming as they run through the pool. And the bats dissipate. And the smoke dissipates. And the smoke dissipates. Guys, that was really scary.

Yeah, that might have been a little over the top. That scared the shit out of me. Oh god! Jesus, Jesus! He's like hanging from the ceiling. Upside down, yeah. That's what that feels like. I'll taste my own medicine. I've done my job. Good job, kids. If you ever need the Batman, you know where to find me. Okay, thanks, man. In the night. Okay. And he, uh, zips back up into the ceiling. He might not be the Batman that we want, but he's the one that we got. He was the one that we needed.

The whole time. The one we deserve. And we look around and we realize that the bats that he gave us were actually just rats that he had taped wings to. His little kites. And we cut to the darkness, the shadows, the catacombs, as the Batman reaches up and removes his cowl, and it's just the Ratman. Works every time. That's great. The Ratman's is like, double the product, double the profit. What profit? For no money. For free. Yeah, he gave it to us for free.

This way I get to give away a rat twice. So Kesserin is well and truly, we cut to Kesserin's room. She's, like, bone white, chattering, can't sleep, terrified. Whoa. And we montage of her and, like, do we think this… Makes Kesserin be like, I can't date Seamus anymore? Or does it make Seamus be like, I can't be with Kesserin anymore? Cause that feels like… Oh yeah. That's more of what it is, right? Yeah.

Yeah, okay, then we see the next day, the camera sees them talking to each other, sitting on a fountain, and Kesserin puts her hands in her face and starts crying. Oh. And Seamus gets up and walks away. Whoa. And we're like, yes! Yeah. And he stops and he looks back for a second. And he keeps walking. We're up on the mezzanine. I know you asked us earlier, it's the camera. Just eating nachos. Cool. Yeah, so it looks like your goal has been accomplished. Ugh, can we fill in our clock? Yes! Yay!

Fuck yeah, we broke them up. There we go. Nice, and we didn't get caught. Nope. So the last thing, the last part of this job is to attend the Sadie Hawkins dance and reveal that Clover is alive to Seamus. The goal is to get… Clover and Seamus together now? Yeah, so what's… What does Clover want out of this? It was just to break up Kesserin and Seamus. I think she just wanted to break them up because she's so mad about Kesserin doing all this. Yeah. Scheming. Yeah.

But also that feels like there's a little bit of an undercurrent of jealousy. Yeah, there is jealousy. Absolutely. Yeah. Like, does Clover want everybody to know that she's alive? Um, I think it would be kind of funny to, like, reveal that Clover's not dead, but also that, like, turn everyone on Kesserin and be like, she's behind all this. Oh, yeah. And she broke the rules. She broke the rules. Alright, so, next. Two days after, uh, the Bat pool party, uh, the Sadie Hawkins…

Which it has forever come to known to be the Bat pool party. People shudder. I was gonna say the dark night. Oh, yeah. Like an event. Yeah, that's right. And kids have been passing the story back and forth. God. Yeah. And it's escalated, sorry. Flashlights. Alright. In the mirror? Yeah. Dark night, dark night. And then sometimes, what do you want? So what is the, so what has the story become by the time it's gotten passed around?

Uh, maybe it's that Clover was skinned alive by Tina Derger, and then resurrected by a six-foot tall bat man. Who turned her into like a kind of walking zombie thing? Yeah. Clover's, uh, skeleton wanders the mall. Yeah. No skin. Which is just kinda true. And she comes for you if you tell. If you tattle. Yeah, and the chains, the sound of the chains are the chains of truth. Yeah. Rattling and trying to break themselves. That's deep. Yeah. And we've been pumping it up too.

Oh, I bet you both are very popular now, like everyone wants to hear your take on it. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. And we're all like, man, I don't know, Clover was always sorta connected to like, ghosts and spirits stuff. Some real woo-woo shit, everyone knows that. She drank so much kombucha, I think that's why she was able to come back from the dead, cause she had the mother inside of her. I don't, I don't wanna say that. It wasn't the mother still alive.

I don't wanna say that she was cursed, but she certainly talked about a curse a lot. Like every month she talked about this curse. Alright. Oh my god. What's up everybody, it's your boy Borbo Borbom Borblo, and I'm trying to go on tour with my band B4, the Burly Beach Bod Bros, and we've got some sponsors that we need to play to raise tour funds. Check em out. Are you a budding detective? A wannabe do-gooder? Or just have an eye for detail?

Are you looking for a task that will be both rewarding and help those in need? Then please, help me. I'm stuck in the service elevator behind the Caprice Theater. I tried to pry the door open with my keys, but I dropped them down a hole and just made it worse. Please hurry. Welcome Trainers, my name is Luis. And I am Chris. We welcome all Trainers new and old to the Purify Podcast. We rant about Pokemon Go, a game we love just as much as everybody else.

We like to talk news, updates, and our own experience of gameplay. If you want real opinions about how we play and how we love this game, this is the podcast for you. Check us out on your favorite podcast feed. Well I think all of that stuff sounds pretty sick, and I would buy it all. Now. Is that it? Have I fulfilled my contractual obligation? Yeah, you can leave. Okay, great. Bye. Okay, bye. Alright, so then the Night of the Sadie Hawkins Dance arrives.

It's gonna take place in the hardware store known as the Light Depot that also has toilets. Yeah. Um, we're helping Franklin get dressed up. Yeah. For his Mindy date. What do you think? Left part? Right part? No part. Half part? Mid part. Under part? Back part. I mean, I think no part is the coolest move. He puts his hair up and just lets it fall, man. It does not. It doesn't fall at all. It looks like Fido died out.

And Fenton is actually quite good at knowing how to like, clean up because he came from like a rich household. So like, when you're like asking about your hair, he just climbs up and gives you kind of like a lick and like a uh, fold over. He's just like, you should just try and look nice for once. What do you mean nice? I mean, this is, I don't know what nice is. She just wants you to be nice. Well, what's nice? You make me look nice. Here.

And then so I kind of like, I slick his hair to the side. So it's kind of like- Smells like sour cream. Sorry. Sorry. But it will hold better. I slick it to the side so it's neater and then I take one of my ties from my disguise kit and I put it like around his neck and he decided to wear like a ripped off sleeve shirt but I was like you should put a blazer over top of that. So I've sewn blazer arms onto my ripped off t-shirt. My tux t-shirt. With um, blazer arms. Wow. You look, you look nice.

Thank you. This is nice. I look nice? Yeah, there's something about it that just says that's nice. Maybe it's my two watches. I think so. The symmetry is nice. Yeah, these things are right four times a day. And I give you um, one of my paper mache moths and I've turned it into like a corsage kind of thing. Oh man. Thank you. Yeah, I think she'll like that. She's afraid of bugs. But thank you. Uh, and Clover obviously is not officially attending. Is Fenton going?

Yeah, Penny asked me like three weeks ago. I've been planning to go this whole time. Alright, nice. So what's Fenton wearing? He's wearing like a cummerbund with long tails. Like a tuxedo with like a cummerbund long tails. Um, like tuxedo shirt with like the pleats in the middle. And uh, but he's still wearing the high collared vampire cloak. Yeah. So there's tails and a cape. Yeah. He's got a pretty long train behind him actually. He keeps getting caught in revolving doors.

Yeah I was thinking that he had like a, he had a tuxedo jacket that was like a tuxedo jacket that was like a tuxedo jacket that was like a fitted for him but the tails of a grown man. Fitted for him but the tails of a grown man. Fitted for him but the tails of a grown man. He's just dragging like four foot of tail behind him. He's just dragging like four foot of tail behind him. Yeah. And a kilt. Yeah. And then formal kilt. Formal kilt fancy shoes. Yeah. And then formal kilt.

Formal kilt fancy shoes. Wow. Looks great. Now that's nice. Wow. Looks great. Now that's nice. Thanks. Here, I got you this and he went upstairs and grabbed some plants from the mezzanine you know in our apartment. Oh thank you. Some night blooming orange blossoms. That's really nice. For Penny. Penny's afraid of flowers. Yeah. She's afraid of flowers though. So we just trade. This is actually perfect. And what's Clover wearing for her inevitable reveal?

She's put on a nightgown from like one of the Victorian clothes piles. Oh beautiful. And I have brushed my hair out for once. So like are you gonna wear the blonde wig or? I thought I'd just go like this like au naturel. Yeah. But maybe you should consider wearing the blonde wig. I mean I don't know. The blonde wig just doesn't feel like me. Cool. Are you gonna keep the blonde wig or are you just gonna throw it in the garbage? Hey guys. Yeah bud. You're being weird. Sorry. That's fine.

Just like uh stop. Dibs on the wig. You gotta trust me on this. You stop now. Yeah I don't know. I think I look pretty cool like this. Like a ghost. Yeah but alive. Yeah but alive. Cool. I'm not gonna take the mushroom again. That was too gross. That was pretty gross. Okay so she's wearing a nightgown. A Victorian nightgown. Like you know with the billowy sleeves. Yeah. Spooky. Yeah. Yeah. You look really good. Oh thank you. Your hair looks really nice. Thank you.

I hear uh Franklin I learned how to do paper folding and I made this rose. Thanks. And then I like put it in my hair I guess. It looks good. Yeah. Okay. And uh Greg has rolled over and he's like you kids look great. You kids look great. You guys look really good. Y'all look amazing. Really? You do. You look so good. Do I look like a ghost? You look like a terrifying ghost. Like a beautiful young woman who also tragically died. Thank you Greg. And he's like alright everybody get together.

Come on. Get in close. Oh Greg this is so embarrassing. Get in close. No. We get in close. Okay. And he pushes a button on the arm of his chair and on an articulated arm a camera pops out. It goes right up in front of his face. It goes okay everybody smile. Everybody smile. Cheese. Big flash bulb. And it bzzzt out the side. It's a Polaroid. Okay cool. And he wags it and goes that's beautiful. Alright do a silly one now. Okay. Okay. Oh silly. And Fenton's taking out the cane sword. Too silly.

Too silly. Paul is doing a jerk off into his mouth. Also known as a mouth drop aka a blow drop. I mean. Wow. You know the whole encyclopedia. Also known as a mouth jab. I know all the sex words. Okay then yeah Greg gets his picture. Borebo's like alright kids I think I'm gonna have to leave you alone for this one. I think you're on your own. Kids only. I hear ya. Yeah. Be weird for me to go. Yeah. Yeah. But good luck. Let me know how it goes. Okay. Will do.

I hope you scare the shit out of everyone. Thank you. I'll do my best. Good luck with your job hunt tonight. Thanks. And where he's standing he just tips all the way forward into like a dead man's push ups and he just starts working out on the floor. Wow. And you guys head to the Sadie Hawkins dance. You head to the light depot. Where in the mall is the light depot? I guess in the like hardware section. Yeah near, kinda near Rick's Ropes. Yeah totally. Which is perfect.

A perfect place to humiliate Kesrin Ropes. Oh right. Totally. And so Rick's Rope is hanging above all of the stores on this section. Yeah. What are some other stores? Nails, nails, nails. Yeah. Larry's Lumber. Been there done that. Garbage bins. Garbage bins. Best prices you ever saw and they sell saws. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Good idea. What else? Great Canadian Spear buck store. Yeah spear buck store.

Great Canadian That was started by a Canadian gym teacher who fell through a portal into Spell or Universe. But all those stores are closed right now. Cause it is evening. Everything's after dark. And there's, but there are a bunch of kids like going to the light depot and they're all kinda dressed really nice. Yeah. This is like a cute thing. They're like people walking like hand in hand. Arm in arm. Nervously not touching each other like the whole deal. And you see Fenton and Franklin.

You arrive and you see Penny and Mindy waiting for you. On opposite sides. Not together. Alright buddy. Good luck. Good luck. We shake hands. Cause this is what friends do. Franklin you see Mindy and she's wearing a very like Blonde wig. Sadly not. But she has like dark curly hair and it's kinda like up and a little like poof on top of her head. Cute. And she's wearing a pink dress that's like a young girl dance dress. Pink and then it poofs out at the bottom in sort of like a bell shape.

And she. Somebody convinced her to dress nice too. Yeah exactly. She looks kind of uncomfortable being dressed this nice but she's dressed very nice. And Fenton, Penny is dressed like a cactus. Oh whoa. But it's like a cool looking cactus costume. God. Yeah. She's even got like one arm pointed up and one arm pointed down. Fuck me. She waves at you with her arm that's pointed up. And then with the one arm pointed down. She waves with the other hand too.

And I run up to her and I high five the arm that's pointed up. Cactus! And I put the I put the corsage the moth corsage on her wrist. Oh that's nice. It looks like a cactus flower. Oh cool. I love cactuses. I I think it's cool that you dressed up like this. I do too. I pick her up because she can't move on her own and I waddle her in. And Mindy's standing there. And she's got like a little thing of flowers. Ah hey. Hi. These are for you. Ohhhh. They smell terrific. Thanks. I grew them. You did?

Yeah. You can grow things? Yeah I have a little garden outside my window. I grew you this. And it's very big. Corsage. Like it's really big. It's like a Of the night blooming orange blossoms? Yeah. It's like ferns coming out of it. A bunch of greenery. Yeah. She sniffs it. It's like wow. Here let me let me. Yeah yeah please. And he goes to like pin it on her and he's like oh oh it's like really oh not there. And you guys are really close for a second and she's like wow.

Her knuckles like scrape against each other and you can hear it audibly like but it's still really romantic. Oh ow. Uh thanks for thanks for um coming to the dance with me. Thanks for asking. You look nice. You look nice. Shall we? And then he does like a little dance thing. And she giggles and takes your hand. Pirouette it. Amazing. Uh so you head into the light depot. Um there are a bunch of kids milling about. There's food on one side like punch and snacks.

Catered by the various food places in the mall. Uh all of the lights are on. There's a bunch of lamps. There's a bunch of like uh fluorescent tube lights on the ceiling. But there are also like Christmas lights and string chili lights. It's kinda like you know how they put like artwork up at a party. Like a rich person party. So that people will mill around and kinda talk about the different kinds of artwork. Yeah. That's what the kids are doing. They're like I really like this one.

Fluorescent lights. I'm kinda really into fluorescent lights right now. That's kinda what I'm about right now. I like these little mason jar ones. These little mini mason jar lights. And yeah one of the kids who uh whose parents own the light depot is acting like the artist in residence. Oh yeah when I put uh this light next to this light I thought they just um looked next to each other. So I like to really play with the medium of the things that my parents own.

This one really speaks to my uh childhood in the Alps. And then uh you hear you hear toilet flush in the background. No those are for display only. Excuse me. Pardon me. Pardon me. Excuse me. Yeah there is and in the middle of the room is a bunch of toilets. That everybody's kind of milling about. They've turned one into a chocolate fountain. No one is touching it. Yeah. Uh but yeah the dance is going on and anything in particular you wanna. We didn't come up with a plan how we're gonna do this.

Let's do it now. Clover? Yep. Oh um. Yeah where's Clover at? Clover is hiding in the darkness. There's not a lot of that too. In the light depot. Like I'm um sort of around I'm tucked into like a little alley way uh between one of the other shops that's nearby. Nice. Everything's dark cause everything's closed and I'm waiting for you two to come out. Um to talk about the plan. Okay. Okay. So we come into that back alley. We give each other like a big obvious nod from across the table. Yeah.

Yeah and then I put a penny on a turntable where I'm just like Wow. She was like Wow. Mindy keep an eye on Penny would you? Okay yeah. I'll be right back. Penny try and sit upright. And you guys are in an alley kind of behind the yeah behind the light depot. How do you wanna do this? So are we so the plan the thing that we're shooting for is that she gets crowned you get crowned queen of the dance?

I thought the plan was that Clover was going to reveal herself as being alive at an opportune time and then reveal that Vessarin was the one that ratted her out. Yeah I didn't I didn't think that there was like a king and queen of the Sadie Hawkins dance. I thought there was I didn't know but I thought that there we could do all of those together. Maybe one of you did bring the wig. Oh. And then it's like I'll walk around with this blonde wig and people will be like who is she? Right totally.

Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Or like Fenton and Franklin can be like excuse me ting ting ting ting ting excuse me everybody. Oh yeah. You know like get everybody's attention. She's actually not here. Here she is. Alright guys have a good night. Or maybe there's no actual king and queen of the dance. But we come out and we're like We'll make crowns. We make crowns. We'll make crowns. With macaroni and glitter. Alright I like it.

Alright so that's the plan is that we announce that we have chosen a king and queen of the dance. Our friend who's walking around. And the king is Seamus and then the queen that we reveal. The new kid. Yeah. Okay and then that's when I pull off the blonde wig. Yeah totally. On stage. Okay so while Yes king and queen is back. We've done it. I knew we could find this. Now that Clover's walking around in the dance what's Clover doing? She's hanging out by the snack table as usual.

Old habits are hard to break. I guess. She's watching Kesrin's group. Oh yeah. Trying to stay out of her her line of sight. And you hear she's quite a pest isn't she? And it's the Hopperstone twins. Um I mean I don't know her that well. Well even if you don't know her that well you know her kind very well. We all do. And what is that? People that think that they have more power than they do. I can get on board with that yep.

And they both take like a like a cocktail weiner on a toothpick and they look at it and they swirl it like a glass of wine. Clover does the same. Yes. And they pop it in their mouths simultaneously. They're both talking at the same time. They pop it in each other's mouth. Perhaps it's time that someone take her down a peg or two wouldn't you say? Yes I would say. Well good luck to you then. Thank you. And they both wink at you.

I wink back and then I look at you two from across the room and I'm like it's time. Okay cool. Franklin just walks up when Finn is trying to get everyone's attention. Yeah yeah yeah. And Franklin just walks up and grabs the music bottles that are playing and smashes them on the ground. Hold on everybody listen to my little friend. They explode cause music bottles explode when you smash. Everybody screams for a second and turns to see what's going on. It sounds like when you like just feedback.

Yeah. Hey everybody we have an announcement to make. As you all know that the Cooltree kids have been mourning the loss of our good friend and in memoriam to her we've decided to take it upon ourselves to create a sort of king and queen to the Sadie Hawkins dance. King and queen. King and queen. And so it is with great deliberation and many days of thought. Great number of counting wonderfully high numbers of ballads that everyone submitted in the mall. Totally real ballads.

Everyone's like Did you vote? I didn't vote. That we have decided to crown the king of the Sadie Hawkins dance to be Seamus. And then like a spotlight gets put on Seamus. It's a hobnob. Franklin Franklin's in the audience like barging through the crowds. Come on, come on, come on. Roughing them up, pushing them up on stage. Everybody clap your hands. Clap your hands. The king Seamus. King Seamus.

And everybody like all the kids do kind of start clapping as Seamus looks around very confused and he puts like a quesadilla king from like there's a restaurant and it's just like a paper crown with macaroni and sparkles on it. Perfect. And and. The queen of the Sadie Hawkins dance. Everyone's like Oh. I'm all nervous like I hope it's me. I don't remember what goes next actually. I don't remember our plan. Do I stay or go? Am I supposed to be here? Why am I wearing this gown? I look so stupid.

Oh no. No you got that. Is Clover Ivy Fern and then we point. Spotlight. Yeah. And I look up and my wig falls off. Gasps all throughout the room. Some people scream. One person faints. And Franklin quickly grabs the wig and stuffs it in his shirt. And I walk up to Seamus. And mouth slack. It's true. I'm not dead. Obviously. Standing right here. We all went to your funeral. That was ours. Yeah it was ours. We accidentally told you guys she was dead.

We didn't actually know it was a funeral until half way through. There was a coffin. We were having a coffin party. You guys just took it upon yourselves to assume it was a funeral. You said funeral multiple times. No I think we said fun-eral. But But what happened? There's a lot you don't know. But it all starts out with Kester and the ropes. There's another spotlight. And she's standing there shaking in her boots cause she sees the specter. She's been terrified of this last week.

Franklin goes Boo Kester. Yes. Boo. I wasn't caught like any normal cool treat kid would have been. They didn't find me. They were tipped off. Kesterin broke the golden rule. She told on me. She told on her. She told on her. And then everybody turns to look at Kesterin and she's like no. It's true. No. No I swear it's not true.

And not only is that did Kesterin tattle on Clover but her mom is also planning to bulldoze the sugar shack and a bunch of our hideouts so that they can redevelop it or something. She's trying to ruin the food court. The food court? That's where we get food. That's where all our hideouts are. And then we start chanting Tattle tale. Tattle tale. Tattle tale. Tattle tale. No. Tattle tale. Tattle tale. Tattle tale. I'll make sure that no one here even sees a rope ever again.

And she starts crying and she runs out of the Sadie Hopkins dance. She pulls out a grappling hook and swings away. Whaaaaa. And I in the meantime had to hide to protect my own life. It's true. But I'm here now Seamus to tell you the truth. I hope you can forgive me. Sorry while you're saying this I just want to slowly put the queen tiara on you. Franklin's putting the tiara on you. Thanks Franklin. Of course I forgive you.

Clover I just want to say that ever since I thought you were brutally murdered. I really had some time to reflect on how I treated you. I'm sorry that I tried to hide our relationship. I was too concerned with my own reputation as a hot meat boy to see myself as lowering myself to be seen with a cool treat kid. But now I know that the only way that us kids are going to get through our lives in this mall is together. Do you forgive me? He puts out his hand. I forgive you. And I take his hand.

Oh I open a bottle of the Titanic soundtrack. And yeah the music starts and Seamus walks you out to the dance floor. Okay. And he starts to. Everybody parts. All spotlights in the middle. He starts to dance with you. If you dance with him. I will dance with you Seamus. I don't know how but I will try. It's beautiful he's like twirling you slowly you know a very waltzy kind of dance. And then Mindy approaches Franklin. She says may I have this dance? You may have every dance.

And she leads you out onto the dance floor. And it's very beautiful. And uh Penny hops over to Fenton. Fenton. Yeah? I'm a cactus. You're my cactus Penny. And you lead her out onto the dance floor. Yeah and I grab her and pull her close. And she gets stabbed a bunch of times. Cause she used really sharp stuff to make her outfit. And then you walk her out onto the dance floor and all the kids all converge on the floor and everybody's dancing with one another. It's a very beautiful moment.

The camera rises up. Another water ball. Ninety nine saysh la felons. Ninety nine saysh la felons. The hobnoblin pulls a rope and a bunch of balloons fall down on her. How many? Maybe ninety nine. That is where we're gonna end. This has been Spellmore Mall Brats. I have an idea for a post credit scene. Because I forgot to do the thing that I was gonna do. And about five minutes of credits go by and then most people have left the theater at this point.

The camera keeps raking up all through the different strata of the mall towards the roof. It settles on a home that is suspended from ropes. The ropes residence. And Kesserin is sitting in her mother's office crying. And her mother says Well Kesserin, I can assure you that all of these grubby little kid gangs and the disgusting part of the mall that they live in will be bulldozed before too long. Dun dun dun. Cut to black. Is that a cool thing? Yeah that's great.

I even imagine like you don't see her mom. I know we've seen her mom before. But I imagine just like leg like. Yeah. Kind of cross leg and then like a bottle of wine being poured into a glass. Totally. Like giant glass. Yeah. And then just like the hand holding the glass. Love it. And then we reveal her face to somebody very famous. It's like gruff shmuslimism. Somebody super shmuslim. And it's in and her mom is like I think it's time that I start teaching you the ways of the wine moms.

They're called the vineyard. We're called the vineyard. And then it cuts to black and it says the cool treat kids will return in the Avengers Endgame. 2019. That brings us to the end of this episode. Spoutmore Mall Brats. Thank you so much for joining us everybody. We played World of Blades by Dwaam Figueroa based on Blades in the Dark by John Harper. So you can find both of those games online. They're excellent. Thank you to Samuel Quinn Morris for our intro and outro music.

Amazing to hear every single time. Love it. And thank you to you our supporters. Without Hoompsed this show would not happen. So thank you. Thank you so much and we'll catch you next time. See you next time. See you next time.