Episode 10 – Absence Makes the Blade Grow Darker

Pickaxe You've seen them around, they sell sweets by the pound Their wares are famously tasty So here I sit, singing to you Of crimes involving chemistry Clover's the whisperer, she makes all the sweets She has her corn dog addiction Lenten's the slob, she seeks the sake And writes vampire fanfiction Franklin's the cutter, his fighters strike Despite his dance, his heart Best and brightest, they may not be But that's my favorite part So gather round, friends Endless in clothe For the tale's about to start Welcome, everybody.

I'm your Game Master, Sean O'Hara. Joining me, playing Fenton Beasley the Sly, Abdulaziz. Hello. Playing Franklin Stubbs. Dying the cutter, Paul Oppers. Hey, everybody. And playing Clover Ivy Fern the Whisper, Jessica Tai. Hello, everyone. When last we left this ragtag group of children, we joined them hot on the edge of the first half of the first day of Big Market, sabotaging the beloved, easily beloved Fudgies. They crack too easily. There's some fucked up stuff happening in their heads.

It certainly did seem like all it would take, was a little nudge in the wrong direction. Yeah, they really imploded. They lost their fucking minds. They cried over spilt fudge. Yeah, just absolute pandemonium. You employed the help of Tremblo, understudy for the lead actor of hit play Elf, Gruff's Emotionland, dancer extraordinaire and legend of stage and screen, helped the Cool Treat Kids foment rebellion within the cooling unit of the Fudgies' fridge. Yeah.

The main arc last episode was we had to wreck a fridge. Yes, by unionizing the components therein. Elves, yeah. In the form of several elves on pedal bikes, which went off without a hitch, except for all the hitches that happened. Yeah. After that, the Fudgies absolutely imploded. Fenton grabbed a handful of coins from the cash register. Franklin punched a bunch of teenage boys in the guts. Yeah, they had it coming. And Clover pushed over a cauldron of molten fudge. That was disastrous. Yeah.

That's going to be talked about for years. Oh, yeah. This is like, that's going to be the thing that happened during Big Market. Honestly, what were they thinking, though, keeping the big pot of molten fudge next to their fridge? I know. You're absolutely right. They deserved it. And after that, you return to the sugar shack to find Borbo Borbom Borblo speaking with Blarth and trying to explain to him that just because he likes somebody doesn't mean that they have to like him back.

And it was a nice, friendly, moment between two youngish men that ended with Blarth getting a new lease on life. He went to go organize his trading cards and he had a great time. You gave Borbo a puppet that he loved, little Borblo. And you dealt with a hobnoblin who had gone insane after consuming handful after handful of cayenne pepper, which is now living in your vents. Yeah, we pushed a big box of chocolate, but against the entry. So we're like, it's mostly dealt contained. Yeah.

Every once in a while you hear skittering in the sugar shack, but so far the hobnoblin has not revealed itself during this day. Oh, thank God. This day, the beginning of the second day of big market last day, maybe, maybe it's a two day thing. Sure. Three days. It's like Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Yeah. Or the fantasy equivalent there in. So good. Big market itself is like three days. Okay. But the setup takes forever. And people get excited for weeks ahead. Yeah.

And the teardown also is just like when unofficial sales happen. Yeah. Totally. Totally. People are selling curtains and tables. Yeah. It's like 80% off. Yeah. Yeah. Come from all the principalities of wide just for the free boxes alone. Oh yeah. So is this sale day or is this the day before sale day? The day before sale day. Okay. Day before sale day. And the cool treat kids have it today is the day that they are going to attempt to make the remaining five.

Coins required to break last year's record. At least. Yeah. At least five more coins. Yeah. Fuck. And then we can maybe take this to the food court. Maybe we got some fucking rep. So what's your plan for today? How are you going to make that extra coin? When are we going to grab our bikes? Yeah. We are going to load up our wares and sell them. Bike around. Yeah. Around the market. Perfect. Mobile shop. We get to describe our bikes now. Yeah. Okay. Let's go. Let's go. Left to right. Fenton.

Training. Wheels on the back and front. Kind of a quad. So it has five. Six. That is right. So cute. Right. Technically it's a hex. It's not a quad. Yeah. And he's got streamers on the, on the things and he's got a basket with a picture of a strawberry on it. Um, and it's got rainbow colored, like foamies all over it. He's kind of embarrassed by it. Cause it sounds awesome. Definitely a girl's bike. It's got a banana seat. Nice. But he can't, he's too small to fit on the seat.

It's too big a bike for him. So he sits on the foamies. He has to sit on the foamies. Oh, like in the, on the front bar on the front bar. Oh, his poor little crotch. Yeah. Are you basing this on how your kid rides his bike? No, I'm basing it on my first bike. It had a strawberry on it. That's so cute. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. I had the girliest bike on my blog. That's amazing. I love that so much. Uh, Franklin's bike. Uh, it's a big wheel. I don't know if you remember those.

You sit pretty much on the ground. It has a gigantic wheel and the pedals are attached directly on either side of the wheel. Sick. There is flames on the handlebar. Oh, it's got mud flaps with silhouettes of naked ladies on them that say back off. Um, and there is, uh, he's got a neon rope lights in the back of his bike. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. He's got little tires so that when you ride, it's like swirls rope color. Fuck. Super. Yes. Cool. Cool.

His, uh, his, uh, social worker picked them up at burning man. And in the front wheel spokes, he's got those little plastic things from the eighties that when you ride, they do. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. The little beads that go on the spikes. Yeah. Yeah. Sick. So this bike, I'm going to base off my real life. First bike. My first big girl bike. Here we go. Yeah. It was pale pink. So this one's pale. It's pale pink, white rubbery handles, a hodgepodge basket that I'm just going to add for fun.

There's stickers of rainbows and a white seat and streamers. But in spout more Mall Brats, it's a bunch of dried lavender. Yeah. Smells so good. Yeah. And still tons of rainbow and stars stickers that glow and are shiny. And my icon sailor moon, which is just in malls. Mall Brats is really famous lady sailor, sailor Mona. That's awesome. Yeah. Famous lady sailor that Clover loves. Yeah. Pirate queen. Yeah. Cool. And I bought it from one of those like sticker vending machines at the pool. Yeah.

You put a spear buck in it, it spits out a random sticker. You have to go a couple of times to make sure you get the one you want. Yeah. And it's just two wheels. I don't need any training wheels because I can do a fucking wheelie on this thing. Whoa. Holy shit. Oh shit. Hell yeah. That's why she has one in prowess. Wow. Yeah. Maybe that's how Fenton fell in love with Clover initially. He's kind of like moving on romantically. Yeah. To Penny. Yeah. To Penny. That's his new fixation.

His new obsession. Yeah. But he was, I think when he originally got abandoned in the mall, he saw Clover biking and Clover was doing a sustained wheelie and he was like, oh my God. That's how I usually ride my bike. It's just. Just go. And when you stop, you're doing that like back and forth, like unicycle thing. Hey, what's up? I hop around. I'm like, guys, are you coming? Oh my God. You're intimidating. This is based on real life. Little kid, Jessica. She was like a fucking bike pro.

Holy shit. What? BMX. BMX bandit. Cool. So yeah, you've got your bike crew ready to go and you're just riding out to big market packing up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is today a selling candy weapons day, a selling candy day or a both day? I mean, the fudgios. Yeah. Fudgios shut down. We were hoping to get their market. Like we just wanted people. We wanted to steal some of their demographics. So yeah. Those people are going to be looking for something sweet. Yeah.

So we're definitely bringing, we're stocking back up on candies and I'm also selling poultices. The ones I made last night. Cause I know there's going to be a lot of burn victims. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're making our own business. Holy shit. Nice. I need to help, but I need to also profit. Licorice poultices. Amazing. And I think the, uh, the logic is maybe. That like, cause we're kind of on the edge of the zone. Yeah.

And like people are kind of scattered now within the mall, like trying to find another sweet booth. So we're just going to bike to them and like, we're not in the best location. Maybe. Yeah. Snakes and wizard hats. Not great. Yeah. And I think you, Linda and Dwat's budding romance has been pretty off putting for a lot of people. The glitter at my fortune telling tent is like scattered. Everyone like, what the fuck? Where are all my pillows everywhere?

Dwat and you Linda are both covered in glitter. It smells like a camel in here. What did you guys, did you take anything? No. What are you talking about? Why'd you go scrumbling around in my, my tent? I wasn't scrumbling anywhere. Oh, we did a little bit of scrumbling. Dwat. You little scoundrel. Well, clean it up or whatever. We will. There's still two more days of big market, baby. Maybe the tent is still going to be in use. Who knows? Well, we'll be back later. Okay.

We'll just make sure that you make a lot of noise when you come back. And Fenton's like, we'll let you use the tent for five spear bucks a day. And, uh, she looks at Dwat and Dwat closes his eyes and gives one nod. Sick. And you Linda goes, deal kids deal. Starting today. No wonder you become a doctor. Dr. Fenton Beasley, PhD, DDS. PhD and fucking getting that. Skrill. Getting that quiche, baby. Dr. Dada's. How many spear bucks are there in a gold coin? Did we say? Two for one? Two to one? No.

It's that the food court gives kids two spear bucks for every one coin that they give the food court. Yeah. And I think maybe the money changers are discouraged from like. Ooh, yeah. Letting like the kid gangs just actually get normal exchange rates for spear bucks. Yeah. And then they're like, oh, we're going to have to do this. Yeah.

So that a, the food court can like keep track of like which kids are doing the best because we have to exchange it with the food court and also so that they can continue to extort their underlings. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Exploited labor, basically. Yeah. They go around to all the money trees, whatever the place is called. It's a literal tree with a little guy is sitting in the branches. It's an elf. Give me your coins. Give me your coins. Yeah.

All the money's tucked into the branches, like in little nests. Yeah. Yeah. It's an enchanted tree. It turns coins into coins. Cool. Okay. So what is the nicer part of the big market market that you are headed to? They mean the fancier part? Yeah. Cause you were, you were saying that you're going to go to a place that has better. I think we're just going to like bike around. Okay, cool. You're just going to bike around the section that you're in, which is still pretty big. Cool. Yeah.

And this is where we've created demand. Yeah. Yeah. By killing those kids. Uh huh. And burning all those fudging people. Yeah. Yeah. I bet, I bet this market is near poofs kind of. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Definitely like the food, like the free food zone. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So it's on the other side of the elf stage. Yeah. But it's one of the places that people that have like little food stands that are near poofs are like, God damn it.

Cause people just go to poofs cause it's a great time and the food's pretty cheap and people nearby are like, man, people just keep going to poofs cause they're, uh, cream poofs are delicious. Yeah. Yeah. They're delicious. And their, their mac and cheese poofs are amazing. Everything they sell that has the word poof in it, there's like a little wizard head jammed into it. So it's like the cream puffs are the wizard's body.

So it's like you put a wizard, a little plastic wizard head, little stick arms, little legs. Yeah, exactly. It's amazing. It's disgusting and horrific. A lot of people accidentally eat the plastic part. So bad for the environment. Oh yeah. Uh, yeah. So that's the plan. You're going to just try and bike around and sell as much candy to people as possible. I would love to go in front of poofs cause as an environmentalist, I don't want them eating plastic.

I'm going to be like, look, I have all natural chocolate covered things, not wrapped in plastic. Just loose in my hand. Just loose. Yeah. In my hand or if for extra, you know, money and sanitariness. Sandhariness is what she said. Sandhariness. Yeah. They come in a reusable paper bag or for an extra money, a cloth pouch that you can reuse or for a little extra more and edible sack. Okay. I love it. Hold on.

Does this sound like, does you guys, does you guys getting five coins sound like a clock potentially? Yeah. All right. Clocking it up. What is the project clock? Uh, money. How many squares? So yeah, we'll call it eight again. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. One of them is one and eight will give us 23. So like if you, if you succeed with great effect, you get three coins instead of just one coin. Yeah. Gotcha. Good. Yeah.

I like that. Okay, great. So eight coins on the table coin the first, I'm going to say this is a group app group activity selling some stuff in front of poofs. Yeah. So who's leading this group activity? Oh man. Can you attune into it? You'd have to really go to the page.

Make a case for it yeah I'm gonna like be like what are people like in the mood for this hour like kind of brunchy hour what are they feeling is this the crowd these people have kids they care about the future of our planet the tune totally as we've set up a tune as being this like vibey thing that totally makes sense trying to read the crowd sick okay so we can do this either as group activity which is everybody rolls the same thing you take the highest result or you can each take a stress to give clover an additional die to roll I cannot take a stress yeah frankly can't take any more is peaked with stress that's fine like you can all roll individual stuff but it's just like it's harder individually right than it would be as a group activity but it would avoid stress for franklin yeah yeah there's just more potential consequence if each of you fails basically yeah yeah so this is all going to be um it's harder on your own I'm going to say that if you all succeed it's going to be limited effect like per success because you're all going to be able to do it on your own so if you all succeed it's going to be you're basically in a crowd by yourself like trying to hawk your individual wares it's really tough okay but it's a controlled thing like if you fail it's not going to be a huge disaster clover you first yeah and I'm rolling with a tune yeah oh six all right so you can mark a pie piece on that chart so how does this look that's her opening move that is how a hundred percent how clover opens and a middle-aged woman jump sorry ma'am oh I'm so sorry excuse me you scared me little girl pardon me for my rudeness I forgot my manners oh not at all I vibe she's stressed out uh she is uptight she's middle-aged oh yeah therefore she would rather fall in chocolate nice read oh man yeah you got her nailed to a t and by her the sound of her voice I think she comes with money can I ask where you're on your way to oh me yeah I'm heading to poofs for a little breakfast poof yes are you let me guess you're more of a sweet breakfast kind of person than savory right how did you know you just have like this like air of sweetness about you oh you have a little bit of air of sweetness about you too can I uh can I offer you an aperitif oh we're selling freshly made this morning chocolate coconut orbs oh please tell me more I uh coconut inside with with um uh chocolate ganache of sorts milk and dark together swirled into a flavor galaxy topped with a sprinkle of pomegranate uh oh and just for the listeners so they know what jessica's doing uh if you've ever seen the prince of egypt and you know and you've seen like those fake like magicians that were working for the pharaoh doing all their like dumb tricks it's that's exactly what she's doing it's very convincing she's working on this lady that's for sure I'll even give you a free sample of the chocolate ganache for free for free for free for people if you're interested oh I daren't and she takes it right out of your hand pops it in her mouth and her eyes light up with joy oh she makes that noise that's like too sexual that a lot of like middle-aged women do when they eat something they like she goes oh that is just orgasmic clover holds back a barf I you know my husband he's a pilot mm-hmm and uh him and I would occasionally sail across the bay of pinus to panusia and we would sample delights just like this he's a pilot I should say he pilots a vessel okay that's amazing story wow so obviously you're well versed in the flavor experience I absolutely am I love flavors well can I interest you in a bag to take home to share with you and your husband okay why not it's one coin per bag oh a steal oh for such a culinary experience is this you're also welcome to leave a tip voluntary I'll stick with the one coin but thank you so much and I look at you guys I'm like fuck sorry what a fucking bitch she just gave you a gold coin I know but fendon it he's like what you fucking can't even tip a spear book I think he's talking to franklin yeah she's like what a fucking bitch and she takes it and she walks away and she's popping a coin and she's in her mouth just going oh enjoy your brunch oh enjoy those mimosas and she's gone also this is and this is like over the next 20 minutes clover's just killing it with these middle-aged ladies going out to brunch she's just nailing them to the wall I come back for a break I'm like I'm so tired you guys these old ladies are so hard to talk to yeah they've been monologuing at you like fucking crazy you have to pretend to be interested in their stupid stories so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so I I I have an idea.

All right. Is that okay? Oh, please. Okay. So, Fenton, he's in a weird headspace for sure right now. He's seeing everyone as his enemies. So, he's like sitting on his bike. And it's, you know that thing where training wheels bikes, usually the training wheels aren't like level. Yeah. So, you can flip back and forth. Well, he's got two on the front, two on the back. So, he's like doing like a four. Like, it's like clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. It's like a square dancing.

Yeah, kind of. Yeah. And he's like looking into poofs where like the waiters are like, hey, welcome to poofs. Your magical dreams come true. And he's just like those arrogant motherfuckers selling food indoors, clink, and thinking that they're better than me, clink, because they have an apron, clink. A apron. Buddy, we can get you an apron, pal. He's not listening. So, he wants to evacuate poofs. Like, everyone that's in there eating, he wants them to come out here and like reject poofs. Uh-huh.

Reject poofs. So, I need to spend a stress to do a flashback. Ooh, okay. Cool. All right. Yeah. Tell me about the flashback. So, he's buying a bunch of rats. Okay. Wait, buying? Rats are free. That's what Franklin and Clover tell Fenton after the fact. Everybody buys a bunch of rats. They're free, dummy. They're everywhere. I got all these rats for only 15 coins. 15 coins. Can I take all the spirit bucks? I take all the spirit bucks. Yeah, there's nine spirit bucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know a rat guy. You got a guy. Yeah. What about? I don't know if Dwat has a friend. Oh, yeah. Oh, a rat guy. Dwat's the snake guy. He knows a rat guy, though. Dwat, you know a rat guy, right? Yeah, I know a rat guy. Where is he? In the abandoned cheese factory. Yeah, they're near the cheese factory. The old cheese factory. This conversation's happening while Dwat's head is poked out of the tent. Yeah, he's really sweaty. His hair's all matted.

His beard's like been braided and clipped into his hair. What is happening in there? Yeah. It's just good to get it out of the way. Sometimes. Oh, God. Anyways, you know where the cheese factory is, right? Or was, I suppose. Yeah, it's in the collapsed part of the mall, right? Yeah, it's in the collapsed part of the mall. Okay, yeah, I'm going to go there. All right. Charles's cheese. Charles's cheese. Charles's cheese collapsed on Charles Eve. And then Dwat goes, okay, well, I'll see you later.

And he's very careful to make sure you can't see anything between the flaps of the tent as he closes it around his face. Ooh. Ooh. And a little giggle. Yeah. You're going to a different part of the mall that we've never been to. That's collapsed. Yes. Cool. And so you're going to a place that is called Charles's Cheese or the Old Cheese Factory, but it's not a factory factory. It's like a restaurant that used to serve cheese-based things, but it's been since collapsed and empty.

So you enter this cheese factory and it's dark. There's light coming in from like skylights. There's lights that have fallen down at weird angles. So there's beams of light cutting across this dark and dusty restaurant. Hello. Skitter, skitter, skitter. I'm looking for the rat man. Rat man. Oh, you're looking for the rat man, are you? Are you? And it like echoes around the room. Coming from everywhere. Yeah. And Fred is like, I guess he's like trying to turn around, but he's still on his bike.

He's trying to get his bike. He's picking it up and doing that like skitter in a circle thing. Looking for the rat man. I'm trying to find the rat man. The rats are looking for you as well. Skitter, skitter, skitter. Rat man, I want to buy some rats from you. You want to buy some rats, do you? Just fucking stop doing this. I just want to buy some rats. He doesn't know who you are. He doesn't trust you. Oh. It's the rat man. I'm the rat man. I live with the rats. Can I do a consort? Yeah.

But I mean, literally, if you would just tell him who you were, who sent you here, it might help. Okay. I'm Fenton. I'm from the cool tree kids. And I was sent here by God himself. What the fuck? It's weird. Fenton's very weird. Rats know no God, but I'm not God. The God of rats. Rats, rats, rats, rats, rats. I want to buy some of your rats and give them a better life in poofs. Ah. And a little tiny guy steps up from a corner. You should have said so. I'm the rat man.

What's it going to take to get you into a rat today? I have nine spear bucks. I'll buy as many rats as that'll get me. Nine spear bucks. A king's ransom of rats. You're going to give me nine whole spear bucks? Eight. Very well. Nine it is. And for you, my finest rats in my rattiest sacks. And he pulls out a huge bag that's just squirming. I'm a rat. I'm a rat. I'm a rat. I'm a rat. I'm a rat. I'm a rat. I'm a rat. I'm a rat. I'm a rat. I'm a rat. I'm a rat. I'm a rat. I'm a rat.

My rattiest sacks. And he pulls out a huge bag that's just squirming. Okay, cool, thank you. What do you need rats for? Is this for distraction, for food, for agriculture, what? I guess it's for distraction slash revenge. Ah, revenge rats. I know them well. He pats the bag, and it goes, squeak. These'll do the trick for you. Okay, awesome, here's nine spear bucks. And he lets go of the bag, and he starts, like, scrubbling the… Scrub the… Scrub the… Scrub the… Scrub the…

Scrubbling is just a descriptor It works it's better than Russell Scrubble who's Russell He's the he coined the term Scrubble his name was Russell Scrubbler He was a world renowned scavenger And he just starts Scrubbling the spear bucks in front of his face And he goes oh yes I am no longer rat man I am spear buck man and he scrabbles Into a vent and he's gone Fucking weird place We live And Fenton tosses the rat sack into his Strawberry basket Oh no what no This bag is huge You gotta tie it to your bike And drag it back to poofs Oh man yeah he puts it on a little Skateboard and he ties the bag to his Bike yeah he's like Like he's Pretty fucking sweaty at this point Oh yeah this is a lot of rats It's like One pedal Squeak Squeak Squeak Squeak!

Yeah so that's the flashback Is Fenton bought some rats from the rat man Those poultices are gonna come in handy With all the rat bites that are gonna happen Definitely gonna happen Fenton already has a few Oh definitely Sorry I've been dealing with the rats all day And the thing that you said Sorry I've been dealing with the rats all day Is literally the first thing that Clover has heard about the rats What rats? Okay so what's Franklin's plan? Hmm What could be nearby poofs?

A sports store Oh what if like What if like a store Two down from poofs Is like a weight loss Like workout zone Yeah yeah yeah yeah And it's like people who are like No I'm definitely sticking to my new years resolution My Charles Eve resolution Charles Eve resolution He's going to like crack him out of it Yeah Pretty good Oh for a He leads an aerobics class Cause he's got the moves Oh Dance aerobics class A Zumba class A Zumba class There it is And you can sell these as like Weight loss supplements Oh yeah Yes Yes These look and taste super fattening and sugary But they're not It's negative calories Wow What are you referring to specifically?

The chocolate balls Oh truffle thing Oh the truffle Coconut balls Okay cool Coconut orbs Is what Clover called them Cool So I'm gonna go with that one I'm gonna go to the What's the fantasy name for Jenny Craig?

It's called Sweat Em Ups Sweat Em Ups Yeah Great And inside you can see a bunch of people on bikes Not unsimilar to the ones that you saw the elves riding In the Fudgies cooling unit Oh yeah they're working fans in front of them Yeah exactly Yeah and there's a person with one of those Bands around their waist that just jiggles them It's really unclear what it actually does But you see that it's not motorized It's just a person standing behind them going Nap that's the person that's getting the work out That's the person getting the work out That person is wrapped I've only worked here for a week They're sweating ten times as hard as the person getting jiggled So yeah so Franklin's just walking in Yeah I mean I would like to use my command and my skirmish sway To tell the person that's about to teach the class to get the hell out of here Totally I'll threaten them Alright yeah that sounds great Hell yeah So there's a So there's yeah there's somebody who's like getting ready like Okay everybody time to come over here We're gonna do some dancing He's doing his calisthenics stretching at the back Yeah Time to stretch my back Before I work He's talking to himself He's singing Gonna stretch my calves And then my other calves Which is calf over here Not the left one Thighs And then he does a deep squat And he's just doing that He's like whip thin He's got a long muscle He's got a long muscle He's got a mustache Totally different from what I was imagining Oh what were you expecting?

I was imagining a guy in a very tight polo shirt With his gut hanging out the bottom And like short shorts Even better Thick thighs And he's got a whistle on a cord around his neck He's a gym teacher From Earth in 1985 Time for my thighs This is his second job Yeah his first job was a gym teacher At a high school that had a portal to the Spout Lore universe He fell into a portal And now he's just a gym teacher In a fantasy world And you walk up to this guy in the polo shirt No no no I just go to the front class He's the guy that's teaching the class I'm gonna out teach the class Holy fuck this is gonna be amazing to watch Um wow The participants are gonna be so confused You know what?

So am I Yeah so the guy's like alright everybody it's time for us to start dancing So come over here and get your body moving And he walks over to a jug And he uh Yanks the cork out of it And he goes like And he's stepping side to side going like Step to the side and step to the side And use your legs to step both sides Move your arms and get real hot Sweat sweat sweat Move your body And he's just dancing and people are starting to listen to him and dance along And Franklin goes up behind him What are you doing kid?

Oh hey man I'm just your assistant I'm just making sure it's a big room lots of people You just do you I'm just gonna copy you from back here I'm just following your lead What?

Hey everyone And Franklin is copying him Shut up I'm trying to dance here That's right Be quiet everybody Move your gut to the left and right Even if you don't have a gut Go to the left Kid shut up You gotta step and step and step again Step in this way lose some weight Put your arms up to lose more weight Kid what the hell Work your upper body while you step That's right you in the back Looking good Hey buddy You've been doing this a while Go ahead they're yours again No but I thought they were supposed to be mine no matter what You keep talking over me He jumps up there's a barb of him he does chin ups No Chin ups No no no don't look at him No don't look at him I can do chin ups too He jumps up and he goes Oh no He's inexorably pulling himself up Into a chin up He's doing it but it's real slow Franklin goes one One Two Three Four Five Six Eight Ten Eighty Eighty Eighty Nine Ten And he's got himself up at the top of the chin up and he's going Shut up kid Back down No problem What are you rolling for this?

Yeah my finesse I guess Okay great so yeah you would roll one die and this is risky With great effect You can do it you can do it Yes Whoa whoa whoa Two Oh fuck So that is sadly a failure Okay Dang Alright so um you The guy has pulled himself up into another chin up and now he's getting going He's getting the steam rolling He's doing chin up after chin up and all the people in the room started looking at this guy going Whoa no fuckin way And all of the sudden people are just like Chin up chin Up And he keeps doing chin ups and no one's Him teaching Him teaching No one's even paying attention to you And it's part of what's helped is the fact that he's somehow like gotten the whistle into his mind into his mouth, and he's just screaming into the whistle, and everyone in the gym is coming to see what the fuck's going on.

Yeah, and he's just doing chin-up after chin-up with a screeching whale blowing through the air. And you hear in the background, How's he doing that? He's got such skinny arms! I'll tell you how he's doing it. With these diet supplement chocolates. And the teenage girl, as you're trying to sell your chocolates, comes up and slaps him out of your hand. And goes, Get out! I'm gone. And, okay, hey, guess what, guys? What? The complication for this? Well, I'm starting a competing clock. Oh, no.

Two clocks. Damn it, sorry, gang. Cool tree kids. So there's a bad clock now. Bad clock. How many pie pieces is it? It's eight pie pieces as well. Okay. So as Franklin is leaving the gym, like, Oh, man, that didn't work out. Nuts. That guy's chin-up skills are incredible. Shouldn't have challenged an adult. You see a sweaty person leaving the gym, wiping their face and talking to their other sweaty friend, like, Wow, I wish I could get as sweaty as that guy one day.

And another kid on a bike with, like, a metal canister on the back rides up really fast and skids to a halt in front of the sweaty people and is like, Hey, you know what works the best for sweat? What's that? It's eggnog. And he opens up his, like, little cool canister. And pulls out a ladle and scoops a bunch of eggnog into a cup and gives it to a person who swigs it back and goes, Wow, I feel better already. Ding. And a coin flips through the air.

The kid snatches it and goes, Thanks a lot, folks. Have a great day. Ugh, the nog. Fucking rival. Nog hogs. Fucking nog hogs. He rides up to you on his bike really slow and goes, Hey, cool tree kid. Can't help but notice that you're blowing it. Yeah. You saw that? Oh, I saw that. And even if I didn't see it, I could smell it on your face. You know what? I can smell it on your face? Dried blood in about five minutes. You don't hit the fucking road. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You know what? I'm pretty fucking stressed out right now. And I can smell your cinnamon nog. It's driving me nuts. Hey, you know what? You got to deal with failure, kid. I know I'm younger than you, but I'm going to call you kid anyway because it's derisive. This is driving me insane. Yeah, and you know what else is going to drive you insane? The concerted effort to steal your market by the, and he flips up the collar on his jean jacket. The watch. The watch. Wild nog.

Sick wild nog patches under his jean jacket. So I'll see you on the road, baby. And he flips the sleeves out on his jean jacket and he rides away. Not if I don't see you first, chit. That doesn't really, who cares? So the competing clause here is every time you guys fail, the clock for the wild nogs is going to tick up. No. And eventually they're going to take over this section and they're going to clean it out. Wow. Fuck. Hey there. Fenty Beasley here.

A guy gave me six beer bucks to break into the PA system for the mall and play this bottle full of ads for you. So get ready here. Come. Hi, my name is Dr. Dan DeGlod, DMD, Esquire, MSN.BC. Hi, I'm representing you, hopefully in the future. Dan's Divorce. Got married recently? Congratulations. Not going as awesome as you thought? Well, here at the High Spear Mall, there's a statute of limitations on how long you have to be married. Let me show them the door. Dan's Divorce.

The best part of waking up is divorce in your cup. Are you looking for a D&D podcast with actual stakes? A world where every day is a day. A world where every day is a day. Every decision the cast makes is met with consequence. Then journey to the world of Theria on Dungeons & Randomness. We're an actual play podcast with over 14 years of stories. And our newest arc, Frostborn, was created with new listeners in mind. Check out Dungeons & Randomness wherever you get your podcasts.

And join our incredible community for the adventure of a lifetime. All right. That was all the ads that were in the bottle. I think. Unless they fucked it up somehow and nothing played. Anyway, he gave me six beer bucks. So jokes on that, loser. Bye. Bye. We cut to Fenton and Clover near Poofs. A wild nog rips by on his bike. Wow. There's a lot of bike kids around today. That's a sick bike. Yeah. Wild nog. Dumb. Dumb name. Dumb. What do you have on you and in that bag that's moving a lot?

Sorry, yeah. It's a bunch of rats for the poofs plan. Plan? Plan? And Franklin can roll up at the same time, yeah. Plan? Yeah. So here's my plan. I got a bunch of rats from the rat man. Go on. And I gave him all of our money. What? Sorry, yeah. I fucked up the negotiation. You gave him 15 coins? What the hell, man? No, I gave him all his spear bucks. Oh. Yeah. I fucked up the negotiation. I started with the amount we had. I highballed him. Oh, Ben, that was my hot dog money. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. But I got these rats. Friggin' flippin' heck. You paid nine spear bucks for a bag of rats? But there is revenge rats, so they're purpose built for what we're doing. You know you can get them for free, right? Where? The rat man. Rat. He can't wait to get rid of them. It's not even a money thing. He's just got a ton of rats. He's like, please take my rats. Trying to get rid of these rats for years. You just got scammed. Are you fucking serious? I'm so serious right now.

God, this better work. Son of a bitch. God damn it, Fenton. Okay. That one's on me. . But here's my plan. What? I'm going to take this into the back entrance of Poofs. Yeah. And I'm going to do that thing where I'm so boring nobody remembers me. That is not what it is. And then I'm going to get the bag real mad first. He's referring to it as a single entity now. Yeah. And then I'm going to dump him in the kitchen and then run out of the kitchen and be like, There's rats in here. Everybody run.

They're fucking racist. If this is successful, you're not going to have to tell anybody that there's rats in here. They'll know. And then everyone in Poofs is going to come out here and then they're going to want chocolate, cause they're going to be so fucking stressed out and scared and stuff. Clover is irate, but she's like, you know what I'm, you better be right, Fenton. I think it'll work. I think it'll work. I think it'll work. I just don't see how everyone flooding out of, I love it.

We'll figure it out. Everyone flooding. So chocolate, you guys have to be out here to like command and convince them to fucking buy shit. I think that, I think it's the kind of thing that like, it's not going to be like you're selling chocolate as they're running out of the place, but like the fallout of a restaurant full of people flooding into big market is like, okay, then we can, we can pick them off later on. It's not like they're going to run into your chocolate trap.

And all their money's going to be left behind. Franklin and I, let's devise a plan. Yeah. Okay. So when they're running out, we're going to pretend like these are on sale. So it's a fucking deal to be had. And they haven't had their desserts yet. They got cut off mid meal. They're still hungry. Totally. All right. And we have to hate rats too. We have to hate rats too. And we're like, gross, this is anti-rat. I'm going to run with them. Yeah. Start running away.

If they're running and you get the ones who are just gathering at the front. Fuck yeah. High five. Oh man. Sorry. I'm still laughing at Fenton being like, so I got some rats from the rat man. And Clover's like, okay. Just such a statement to make, to have somebody be like, sure. It counts among the least weird of things that Fenton has said. I mean, I guess, so this sounds like, this sounds like a desperate rule instead of risky. Okay. And, but again, great effect.

Cause it's one of those things like so stupid. It just, it just might work. Okay. So you drag a big bag of rats to the entrance to the kitchen of poops. Yeah. And, uh, I guess I'm going to use sway and resolve. Yeah. Desperate and great effect, which means if it goes bad, it's going to go real bad. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Five. So, uh, yeah. So that's a partial success. Partial success. Okay. So Fenton, you drag the bag of rats to the service entrance. There's nobody at the service entrance.

It's not like, it's not like a vault. There's nobody guarding the door to a kitchen. Yeah. He, uh, he hops up, trips the door handle and go, one walks in. Uh huh. And there's like people cook like chopping food. And then I, he's like, just a little kid, dragging a giant bag into a kitchen squirming and squeaking bag. Yeah. It's only a matter of time before, uh, uh, like, uh, an adult. Yeah. An adult. What are they called? A girl adult. Yeah. Looks at you and goes, Hey, who are you? Oh, me.

I'm your worst fucking nightmare. And then he dumps the bag. Yup. Instant pandemonium. There's been a lot of pandemonium at this big market so far. And rats just fucking flood out of this bag. And they're roiling over each other like they're a single entity. And they spread like a plague through the kitchen. People flip the fuck out. And Fenton, starts running. And then it's slow motion. Rats sailing through the air next to him. Like cresting like a wave. Yeah. And like in a John Woo movie.

He dives and they flip out. They furl out around him. Yeah. From like, he like bursts through the door. Yeah. And just as it speeds back up, it's Fenton hitting the door to the restaurant. And then coming out. And then he's like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, There's one guy who's just sitting there and he's eating a shrimp scampi. He doesn't seem concerned. But most people are losing their minds.

And there's a flood of people that run out of poofs right in front of you guys. Sale! Chocolate sale! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-sale! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-sale! Yeah, and I'm holding up bags of chocolates. I'm like… Energy balls! Energy balls! Uh-huh. Powerful energy balls! Yeah. And Franklin's out there in the crowd. It's like over the next 20 minutes, you kind of pick off a bunch of people that ran out of poofs. However, the wild nogs have caught wind of the exodus of poofs.

And they're ripping around on their bikes, slinging their nog like the wild nogs they are. Fuck them. What? Can I try and skirmish them up? Oh, yeah. You could try and beat one of them up. Okay, so I'll say this. Spill their money. You do get the great effect. So, one, two, three. Three. Three additional coins. Wow. 19 now. So, you're one coin away from the record. Wow. And four coins away from basically getting as much money as you can out of these people. Sick. Sick.

But the nogs are starting to catch up. Fuck these nogs. Yeah, and all this pandemonium. I just want to start fucking the shit up. Yeah. So, there's one of the nogs just gets done slinging some nog. And he's packing up his little cooled container on the back of his bike. But he's unattended for the moment, Franklin. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess… I'll… I'll… I'll just go up there and threaten him to give me his bike and his money. Straight up jack this little piece of shit. Absolutely not.

Oh, yeah? A nog is nothing without his steel hog. I'm gonna hog your… I'm gonna knob… Gobble on that nog, you little hog. Now, hold on. I'm not certain that you know what you're saying. But it's not very threatening. It holds up the toffee knuckles. Oh, I see. Okay. I get it. Gives him a little lick. He's like… Revenge is sweet, motherfucker. I was scared. Then you licked it. Then I was less scared. Then you said, revenge is sweet, motherfucker. Now I'm scared again.

No one understands you. So, yeah. So, this is command? Yes. Yeah. Here we go. Don't do it. Taking everything he wants. Send him a goodbye. Oh, God. Two. Fuck. Whoa. Really bad. Okay. Okay. He's starting to quiver a little bit. He's like, oh, hey, look. Look, pal. I just… Just work for the… For the nog hogs. Okay? Like, please, you don't have to… And then two more wild nogs. Screech! On either side of him. Clever girls. What are you doing, pal? I'm trying to make my way in this world.

Just like you pieces of shit. Well, you better back off. Because this is… And they all flip up the colors of their jean jackets. Wild nogs territory now. Can I fight them with wreck? Yeah, you can wreck whatever you want on them. Franklin does kind of have them currently distracted. Yeah. What do I do? I don't know. Yeah. You could ram your bike into their… Domino their bikes into each other. You know, use my… Because I'm a sick cyclist. Yeah.

I need to just wipe out the backs of their bike. Oh, yeah. Use your fucking bike moves. Yeah. So, wreck is in prowess. Yes. And you have prowess. I do. So, two. Holy shit. Six. Six. Holy shit. Fuck, yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. This was, again, risky but standard. So, this is going to be two. Yeah. Wow. Okay. So, Franklin, like, chat him up. I have… I see her, like, pedaling. Yeah. She's going to get her bike and coming in. She's doing that bull thing.

You see her, like, swiping her feet on the ground. Getting the right friction. Totally. This little psycho. And then she starts pedaling really fast. She's going… Yeah. I start rolling on my sleeves. Like, all right, boys. It's you and… It's the three of you and the one of me. We're doing this right now. Oh, yeah. Mono-y, mono-y. Mono-y, mono-y. Mono-y, mono-y, mono. They start getting off their bikes. They've all left their bikes. They put down the kickstands.

They put up these little flags that say, uh, back in five. And they roll up the sleeves of their jean jackets. It takes them a long time because it's a really stiff, thick material. You want some help with that? No. I'm going to… I'm going to… I'm going to get some help from your faith. Your faith is going to help me roll up my sleeve. And at that point, Clover throws her bike up into a wheelie and just zooms in. Zooms over their bikes and grabs one of their backpacks.

Yeah, so you knock all of their bikes over. The nog blows out of the fucking canisters. Their bike wheels are bent out of shape. Mm-hmm. I'm like, F you, suckers. You don't mess with the cool tree kids. And I just flip them all birds. Nice. On a bike, no hands on the handlebars. All birds in the air. On a wheelie. And I flick my lavender hair behind me. And I'm like, eat dog. Eat her. And they all turn around and go, our nog. And they run up and they're trying to scoop it in. Like, no.

And then they see their bikes. Our hogs. Our hogs. Our nog and our hogs. This is the worst day ever. And Clover goes and skids to a halt somewhere else high off for victory. Yeah. And goes through the backpack and finds two coins worth of currency. And like, you're counting in your head like, whoa, we're at… 21. 21 coins. We're rich. That's the most that… That any kid has ever made within your memory of Big Market. Wow. Six months. Yeah. Yeah.

I met up with Benton a little further down the court. He was eating a big plate of spaghetti that he stole from Poofs. It had a rat on it at some point, but what do you do? Yeah. It's a family size spaghetti. Sick. Can I have a meatball? Fine. What? What? He's a gluttonous little shit. Yeah. Fine. I eat it like, but I'm like, oh wait, it's beef. I can't have it. You eat corn dogs though. You know that, right? Yeah, but they're vegan. I would never eat real meat.

Benton understands that she needs to keep this illusion. So he's like, okay, yeah, sure. I'll give you one of the vegan meatballs. And he spears what he gives it to her. Thanks. And she's just like, shakily putting it to her face. And Franklin, you find your friends eating illicit spaghetti. Hey, that was some mean bike work. Thanks, man. Hey man, that was an amazing rat job. Thanks, man. All hallowed be to the rat man, our Lord and savior. All hail the rat king.

Franklin looks like he's been through it today. He looks like he's had a hard time at Big Market. Him? Yeah. Yeah. Franklin, what's up, man? Man, I am. I'm stressed. Oh, you gotta, you gotta take some time for your self care. Yeah, you gotta take it easy. And then Fenton's like, I was going to save this for later as a celebration thing. But, and then he like takes his backpack off and he opens it up. And he's like, I stole a family platter of ribs. Ribs? I know they're your favorite.

And he pushes it. It's too fit. Oh. There's so much barbecue sauce inside of his backpack. Oh, yeah. It's mostly sauce. It's more of a sauce pack now than there's anything else. Let me go get you some kombucha, too, to wash it down. That's okay. I don't need that. I just. No, you do. I just. No. I'm going to go get it. This is for you. I understand. Thank you so much. I just haven't danced for myself in a long time, you know? What are you waiting for, Franklin? The world's your stage.

Just like Ref Shlushlin said. Smushlin. Smushlin. Smushlin. Yeah, I was always dancing to impress him these last few days. I know. But you just got to move for yourself. Feel the energy of the earth flow through you. I will. And then I guess we start singing. Yeah. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, Is there a way we can make money doing this?

Yeah. I mean, yeah, potentially. You think, like, you're at your goal. You're over your goal. But you think that you could maybe squeeze a little bit more. Oh. A coin out of this crowd. Yeah, I guess when he does it for himself, that's when he goes into tux mode. Yeah. Yeah. Ties his thing around his thing. But this time, instead of wearing the bandana on his head, he puts it over his eyes. Oh, wow. Feel the music. Feel the music. Yeah. Sung by his friends. Okay, so this is controlled.

Standard effect. So it would be two additional, it would be two more coin if you succeed. Whoever is aiding is taking a stress point. Okay. To give. Automatically. You take a point of stress and you give. Franklin, an additional die. Oh, great. Five. Five. Okay, so you succeed. And you just described this. He's dancing his life away. Oh, yeah. He's up on the ceiling. He's up on the ceiling. What the fuck? Yeah, he's, like, clinging off to the side. Whoa. He goes up. There's a big balcony.

And he's doing, you know, the up and then down head thing. Oh, yeah. From the Thriller music video? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Rolling dive off of the balcony and everybody rushes forward to the balcony and they watch him like like parkour land and swing up and he's just dancing his way you know like at the end of some you know like plan of the apes just like swinging and dancing off into the into the distance yeah does it back oh wow they're rounding up and everyone's coins rain down from the sky wow you gather like uh you gather two additional coins sick wow thanks guys and that you so you've made 23 holy fuck wow 23 coins today yes and you have squeezed every last coin you think out of this crowd for big market and so that is a like big market at least for the cool tree kids the work is done you're winding down your work day you could end you could leave your coin for the intermediary of the food court that's sort of the uh next step really uh-huh yeah I think that makes sense where would we leave where would that intermediary be where do we leave this what if it's like the the kid gangs like once they've done collecting they get to choose who they pay fealty to like it's like who's like gang do you want to be under do you want to give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people give the people like directly to Doris basically.

Yeah. Cool. Yeah. You find Doris. She's got a booth just outside like the big bustle of big market where she's just handing out free food. Like she always does. And the, uh, like this is kind of like the time when all of the kids gangs are like picking their, yeah, it's like a reverse Halloween. That's the vibe that it has right now. They're all running away to give their stuff away to, to other people. But Doris is kind of on her own. She's as ever working tirelessly for the people. Oh man.

Stirring so many different pots. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Great. She's a pretty sweet lady. And she sees all of you. Hey Doris. Good to see you. You look great. Smells delicious as always. Oh, thank you so much. Franklin. It's good to see you. Smells delicious. Tastes like shit as well. Shitty food. How has big market treated you children? Pretty good. Pretty stressful. Stressful, but I think we've broke a record. No, what record would that be?

And Fenton picks up his backpack and dumps it on the shitty food counter. And 23 coins and a bunch of barbecue sauce comes out. Oh, so many coins. Yeah. All coins that were gathered by you children. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you will make a member of the food court very happy. That's what we were thinking. No. For me? Yeah. It's for you, Doris. You're the member of the food court that we want to trade this into. You can see her eyes start to well up a little bit.

Doris, you're always nice to us and you're like, that's how we get most of our food is from you. It's the least we can do. You've been working so hard for everyone else. Let somebody else work hard for you for once. Yeah. Yeah. Plus barbecue sauce. I can just see you. Oh man. I can see Abdul reacting to the fact that I was directing that conversation depending based on who I was looking at at the time. Jessica said something sweet. Paul said something sweet. Abdul said, yeah, that's so funny.

And Doris is just, she's just, she's her heart swells. She goes, children, you have no idea the lengths to which this money will go to feed the people of high spear mall. That's cool. It is cool. Yes. Clover. Clover. Clover. And she scoops it. And the barbecue sauce into something just behind the counter. Just a, thank you so much. Children. And you tell your friends, you tell anyone that needs it. Shitty food is just around the corner. We will. Thanks Doris. Farewell. Hi. Oh, one more thing.

What's up? Sorry. I just wanted to leave some bags of the coconut orbs for you. Oh, they're really good. I'm not just the garbage I usually make. Oh, Clover, you have never made garbage in your life. Thanks. And she pops one in her mouth. Oh, these are just orgasmic. Oh my God. What the fuck? Does this to every lady. And the sun sets on another day of big market is the cool tree kids return to the sugar shack. Yeah. Oh man. And we have, I guess, 46 spear bucks. Yeah.

Doris actually rounds it up to a clean 50. Holy shit. Wow. I guess like we talked to Borba. Yeah. Ding, ding, ring our bikes. Yeah. As you ride up and we're like, Borba. Hey, what's up kids? Hey, looking pretty slick on your bikes. Yeah. We're really sweaty. Yeah. I am also sweaty as you can see. And he is absolutely just drenched in sweat. What the fuck happened? I was working on my calisthenics. Calisthenics is just stretching though, right? Yeah, bro. Why are you so sweaty?

High impact stretching. Okay. Show us. Okay. And he just starts like kicking, really high in the air. See, it stretches my hammies, stretches my thighs as well. I heard this guy yelling in the food court earlier. I went by sweat him ups and there was this dude. He was going nuts. Franklin. Yeah. He does that. He does the jump splits and then he picks himself back up in the splits and he does a classic RuPaul's drag race death drop. Sick. Boom. Yeah. So that's why I'm sweaty. I'm pretty good.

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. Well, you know, everything's secure. Don't you worry about that? Awesome. Yeah. Cool. We actually have enough money to, uh, probably fix the hideout. Oh, so like, Oh, okay. No, I get it. That's fine. No, it's not like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't want to restrict airflow and blood flow. Clover has covered her eyes. Clover covered her eyes.

Oh, did Jessica cover her eyes when I wasn't looking? That's so, uh, whoa, bro, you got to keep them loose. You got to keep everything down below loose. You'll learn that one day. Oh, okay. Uh, look, we can fix the hideout, but what we're going to say is we need you still. What? What? What do you mean? Well, we're vulnerable without you, man. Oh, uh, are you sure? Yeah. We've got like hob noblins and the shitty hot meat boys.

Yeah, hot meat boys and probably the frigging nog hobs or whatever they are after us too. So we're going to need some help. And also, we're going to need someone to teach us when we're all going to get our periods and stuff. Yeah, actually, I have more questions about that. Do puppets get periods? I don't know. You tell me, Lil Borblow. He's like, I don't know, man. I don't even have anything below my waist except for this dude's fucking ripped bicep. You know what I mean? You know what I mean?

And, uh, Borbo continues to drop into a roughly 15 minute set. That's just him and Lil Borblow. I sit down on the ground. Yeah, we're all sitting on the futon while he's performing. Wrapped with our feet behind us and our hands on our head. Kick into the air. And the camera begins to pull up as Borbo, Borbon, Borblow and friend, uh, continue their beautiful and hilarious 15 minute set on, uh, the ins and outs of calisthenics and what they do to puppet groins. And it pulls up further and further.

And we see in a broken disused window in the second level of the sugar shack, a sweaty panting face sticking out, kicking its feet, watching the set as we pull through. Is that the hob? It's the sweaty hob. He's loving the thing. It almost seems he's still sweaty. Yeah. It seems like something inside him has transmuted and now he's just sweaty all the time. Oh no. Pepper. Yeah, exactly. He's now, he's now mostly cayenne as we pull up further and further.

Uh, and the camera soars over big market as we hear the closing song for this week's episode of spelt more ball brats, which begins, uh, snuggled in bed, gonna dream all night. Gonna think about the fights we had to fight. Gonna say good night to Seamus. Oh, my dream about all the stuff that I think about.

And the camera zooms back in to the three of us who we were going to do a, like a wrap up song for big market, but it has just, just turned into Clover singing about Seamus for the last five minutes. And then the screen slowly fades to black over Clover going, I'm sorry, fade to black executive producer, Dick wool. And that brings us to the end of today's episode of Spelman Mall Brats. I've been your game master, Sean O'Hara playing Fenton Beasley, the slide Abdul Aziz.

So long playing Franklin Stein, the cutter, Paul Oppers, take care and playing Clover. Ivy Fern, the whisper, Jessica tie. Sorry. Thanks to you are amazing. Patrion's the supporters without whom, which this would not be possible. Thank you so much. We love you dearly. Goodbye.

I give you give you give you give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give give to big market.

Dancing to big market. And I hope that you want to buy some stuff. Welcome to big market. Everybody's coming to big market. Hope. I like, hope you got big pockets. Welcome to big market. We like have fun every now and then. Like, this is the idea of an overly sexual 16 year old hot meat boys pitch for a big market song. At your round and line. Everybody's coming to big market. Market. Meet you Linda. Get me some more snakes and sell those snakes for lots of points.

Hey Linda, we'll think I'm really handsome. Break it down. Break it down. This is a bunch of harp snakes that he's shaking in a box. Yeah. Yeah. Slapping them. Once you go ahead and knit yourself something sexy. Yeah. Can you do the next few songs that you sing as a twat with no as twat with the harp snakes? What do you mean? Just keep doing twat. I'm a supernatural delight. Take some snakes and put them next to me. More snakes. Snakes. Take a snake and a snake and make two snakes.

Two snakes will become much more snakes. This is how he knows about the mating rituals. Take a snake and give it to your girl. If she don't like snakes, that's okay. Other stuff is okay. If not snakes, maybe she'll like that. Dancing with you, Linda. Yeah, I want her to be my next wife. I gotta get a divorce first. Oh my god. From my previous two other wives. Sometimes dancing in the moonlight on a honeymoon with you and a girl. Maybe we could have a wedding at Big Mark's. Big Market.

Oh, there are absolutely weddings happening at Big Market. There's a lot of like accidental polygamy that seems to happen in this culture. It's not like true polygamy. It's like I get married and then I leave that person but we don't get a divorce. Or forget. Yeah, I forget that I've been married several times before. Wait, who? Yeah, somebody recently was talking about how they were married. Oh, it was Gref. Yeah. Yeah. Gref's been married to several people. I would agree. I would agree.

I would agree. I would agree. I would agree. I would agree. I would agree. I would agree.