Episode 9 – The Blade is Always Darker on the Other Side

Pickaxe You've seen them around, they sell sweets by the pound Their wares are famously tasty Here I sing, singing to you Of crimes involving chemistry Clover's the whisper, she makes all the sweets She has a corn dog addiction Benton's the slide, she sleeps the same And rice can fire a fanfiction Franklin's the cutter, his fighters strength Despite his dance, his heart Best and brightest, they may not be But that's my favorite part So gather round, friends Endless in clothes For the tale's about to start Should we start?

Yeah, we can start. Hi everybody and welcome to Should we do that again? Start again? Do it again, sure. Hi everybody and welcome to Speltmore Did you say pie everyone? Can we do that again? You said pie everyone. Hi everybody. I'm pretty sure I'm saying hi and you guys are stopping my flow every time. Cake everybody. Hi everyone and welcome to Speltmore Mall Brats. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Fen Beasley the slide, Abdul Aziz. Hi there. Fuck. Fuck you guys.

Playing Franklin Stein the cutter, Paul Hoppers. Hello everyone. And playing Clover Ivy Fern the whisper, Jessica Tai. Hello everyone. Wow. I'm so sorry. Is that what I sound like? Disrespecting the authority of the game right off the top. When last we left our hero. Don't worry, we'll do it at the bottom too. And in the middle of my sentences. When last we left our heroes, the cool treat kids. Say what you're going to say. No, I was just stretching my mouth.

Well, it looked like you were going to talk. I did. Centering breath. This is the vibe that will be as we're going into the chocolate factory with Adric. He's just going to be like, oh my God. What have I agreed to? This is possibly more chaotic than I want. What a mistake I've made. The cool treat kids took a little downtime after convincing Adric Swift, adventurer extraordinaire, to guide them through the chocolate factory that has been their neighbor and toilet for lo these many years.

To recover an ancient dark chocolate reserve and therefore undercut the plans. Of the vineyard and also Tina Durger. They undertook a variety of downtime actions. Clover got some corn dogs thanks to a door dash by Borblow to relieve a little bit of stress. Fenton learned a bunch of information in that the cool treat kids were being surveilled by Shathane Wick. Yeah. Mercenary private investigator hired by Tina Durger to observe the cool treat kids. Yeah.

And also learned that Adric Swift might be here on a grander, what's the word? Scale? Scale? Yeah. Yeah. Like he's. Part of a larger purpose. Seeking out dangerous magical things and making them less dangerous however he can. Because he's a mender. Jumping to conclusions. Mm-hmm. And Franklin Stein learned that inside the candy factory lie many creatures. Including? A woman made of melting chocolate perhaps. Mm-hmm. Beasts in the river. Candy spiders.

Various creatures mutated from the magical confections that lie within. Yeah. Loose moose pit. Yep. The loose moose. So we can all wear skis and then we can just ski right over it. Okay. Yeah. That's. So you're gonna. Seems. So you'll all wear skis the whole time. Just in case guys. Just in case. Yeah. Slowing you down every other way. Well then otherwise why have I been making all these skis all this time? Well what if we all wear skis? Well what if we all wear skis?

Well what if we all wear skis? We all wear a different pair of types of shoes you know so we can make a quick getaway and just hang on to one person. Oh. Yeah. I'll roll. I'll wear the roller blades. I'll roll. I'll wear the roller blades. I'm being prepared for all sorts of terrain. I like this. Thank you. Uh huh. And on their way out of the mall Clover set up a home alone Christmas party style diorama distraction. Yeah.

To throw off the trail of Shethaenwyck from their erstwhile companion Adric Swift as they made their very hurried way back to the home alone. To the Highspear Mall itself. To the Highspear Mall itself. To the Highspear Mall itself. Because we didn't want to implicate Adric. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Or be outside anymore. Uh huh. Yeah. And you did go outside. And you did go outside. And you did go outside. Yeah. Of your own volition for the most part. Yeah. Of your own volition for the most part.

Yeah. Absolutely terrified. Poor Vogue kind of forced us to. And you ran right into Shethaenwyck himself who was dismayed beyond belief to learn that he was hunting children. And he told you that while he wasn't going to do anything to you, he had to stop you. And he told you that while he wasn't going to do anything to you, he had to stop you. And he wished you good luck on your adventure. Pretty cool. And that is where we find the Cool Treat Kids now. Back in the mall. Back in the mall.

Preparing for your expedition. Yeah, we're in the tunnels. I'm in the tunnels. I'm also there. Okay. And I have one of those cartoon ice bags on my head. Yeah. Recovering from outside. I got some sort of sickness just breathing that air. It was too much. My sinuses feel so open. And it's just dizzying. Fenton's like, yeah, mine too. He says in his nasally voice. Franklin's breathing into a bunch of different paper bags that he found. To get the oxygen out of his blood. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God.

And what's the, like, you're all just kind of recuperating a little bit. So the expedition is what, tomorrow? As soon as possible, yeah. While I have the ice bag on my head, I'm at the whiteboard again. I'm making our plan. Right, yeah. I'm drawing a map. I'm going to go out for Adric Swift. He's got Taylor on his shoulder. And we are presenting our domain to him. Yeah. And this, Adric, is where the magic happens. And there's Greg slash Borbo's futon. The sofa bathroom. They share it?

Well, it's, I mean, Greg owns it, but Borbo's been the one sleeping on it. Yeah. Okay. And Greg's, like, science zone. Mm-hmm. With all the mushrooms growing. Yeah. And tubes of glowing stuff. Yeah. And cool lamps all lining the tunnels. Yeah. And this over here, Adric, is my burrito hole. This is the corner I go cry in and I eat my burritos. Huh. And this, Adric, is my library of vampire fan fiction. And then I pull a satin sheet off a bookshelf that is full. Wow. Where did you get satin? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And this is where you live. For now. We more dwell down here. Interesting. All right. Tell me your plan. Let's hear it. And he walks over to a barrel, just a metal barrel that you have, and he takes out a handkerchief and lays it on the barrel and then sits on the handkerchief. So we want to enter from the rear. Yeah. Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Excellent.

And then we want to sidestep here past the bathroom, the good bathroom. Uh-huh. So there will be some smells coming out. I would suggest wearing a mask at that point. I like that specifying the good bathroom was the thing that was like, it's the good bathroom, so it's going to stink. It's going to smell bad. The other way in is through the sugar shack. That's true. Yeah. But it is being watched. Yes. So there's two primary methods of ingress.

But the back way is probably the better way because then we don't cross paths with security. Yes, if the plan here is for you to meddle in the affairs of the vineyard, it is, of course, of the utmost importance that we avoid detection at all costs. From behind it is. I wish you would stop saying it like that, but yes, from behind. And here's the thing, Adric. Swift, is we also have support. We have earned the loyalty of many of the kid gangs, like the shadow cloaks. And the nerdier ones. Yeah.

Oh, right. Study group. How many children are you planning on bringing into this extremely dangerous jungle atmosphere? As many as we need to lose. I, if I'm being completely honest. Barely wanted to bring you three. Okay. Uh-huh. So let's maybe limit it to essential personnel. Okay, but just know that if we need cannon fodder, we can't access that. If we need to sacrifice more children, I will let you know that there are more lambs required for the slaughter.

But as it stands, perhaps we will keep things tight. Okay. And you can tell, like, some, like, Adric seems. More tense and less jovial. Are you scared? What? No. Why would I be scared? I do this kind of thing all the time. I've been doing it for centuries. You seem more tense than normal. I'm fine. Well, your shoulders are like, like this, like up by your ears and your eyebrows are really close together. He lowers his shoulders and he slackens his eyebrows. I don't know what you mean.

You're denying the observations of children. Enough children. Enough. Kids. Questions. Hey, we're the boss here. We know what's going on. There it is again. There's that look on your face. Ugh. And I would like to use either study or survey or consort to figure out how he's feeling. Depends on what you want to use. I want to read his micro expressions. So that would be, yeah, study. Okay. Study. Is me looking at him, trying to size him up. My dad told me. My dad taught me how to size up a pig.

What? He taught, my dad taught me how to size up a mark. He, his venting goes into a flashback in his head. It's like, my dad would make me stand on the shop floor at the scarecrow, uh, store, dealership. And he'd make me watch people walk in and he'd make me size them up. He taught me how to size up a customer just by looking at them. And that's what I'm going to do now. Uh-huh. I'm going to figure out what this guy's deal is. Oh, those are failures. Oh, these are failures. Yep.

That's a failure. So he notices you watching him, basically. Like you, so you're, you're standing back there. You steeple your fingers and you're staring at Adric as he is speaking. Yeah. You put on a monocle and he just kind of snaps at you a little bit. I'm fine. Whoa. Okay. Don't yell. This is a dangerous place that you are forced. This is a dangerous place that you are forcing me to take you into. And I will do it, but I am in charge here.

I will not be pushed around by a bunch of rambunctious little rapscallions such as yourselves. I know that you are used to running your petty schemes and you're used to running rough and tumble with these groups of children, but this is real life. Life or death. Do you know what it's like staring into the razor's edge between living and dying? Do you know what it's like to feel the blood coursing in your veins? Do you know what it's like to feel the blood coursing in your veins?

Do you know that the thing across from you wants that blood? Yes. Yes. Do you? Yes. When we were outside and then the ranger found us and went outside was so scary. I could hear the wolves. So, Adric is clearly pissed off about this and Borobo, it takes this moment to, it looks like he's been working up the nerve and he's like, Excuse me. Actually, I have expedition leader here. I think if you ask these kids, you will remember that they agreed to make me expedition leader. Right, kids?

That's right. Yeah. Absolutely. And who the fuck are you? I'm Borbo Borbom Borblo and I am the expedition leader. Like I just said, who the frick are you, man? And also watch your language. These are a bunch of fucking kids, bro. Very well. I suppose that I am at the whim of a buffoon and his buffoonlings then. That's right. All right. Lead the way, children. Whatever you say. Yeah. Let's load up our gear. Okay. So then this is at this point, we will talk about the engagement and your equipment.

So I assume it sounds like you're all going heavy. Yeah. Yeah. So you have all access to all your shit, which is another reason. Another reason to not go through the sugar shack and the mall because everyone will be like, well, one, they're the cool tree kids. Yeah. And two, why are they carrying so much shit? Yeah. How many pieces is heavy? I think. Five? It should say on your thing. Great. I'm definitely going to take armor. You don't have to choose right now. Oh, what?

I swear to God, we do this every time. So your equipment is nebulous until you decide to check something off. Okay. But it is just assumed that you have stuff with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

A grappling hook for, for like repelling I just putting this out in the ether, so people know the kind of stuff that we might need to pull the fucking chocolate out of there please continue. Uh-huh. To, like, climb up things or to rappel down things. Mm-hmm. We might need pickaxes to pull the chocolate out. We might need dynamite to blow the chocolate out. Mm-hmm. We might need, uh, ba-ba-ba… Machetes. Machetes to cut through the grass.

And all this stuff could, like, wrecking tools is something the cutter has on his list. Yeah. That could be stuff for blowing shit up. Yeah. Or tearing things down. The Whisper has tinkering tools for working on different sorts of things, you know? Lots of cookie cutters. I don't know. They're really sharp. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. We're gonna need shit to defend ourselves if… Uh, I have armor. Yeah. Uh, so the thing… So the armor is, um, ancient mithril. Hold on a second.

No, hold on just a second. What? I'm allowed to borrow stuff from Greg. Oh, Greg had mithril from military? I'm getting most of my tools from Greg. Yeah. I thought you were gonna say, I'm allowed to borrow from Tolkien. I was imagining a thing, like a flashlight. Flashback to when you were speaking with the shadow cloaks. Oh, fuck yeah. This is a thing that I have recovered from one of my many adventures. It is a, uh, it is a coat of finest mithril. Now, I know what you're thinking.

It is gonna look like it is made out of a bunch of cut-up coat hangers that have been spray-painted. But I assure you, it was crafted by the finest elven mages. Thank you, Rathgar. I appreciate this. I recovered this from a tomb deep in the Deathspire Mountains. From the corpse of an ancient king. Go fuck away. I was but a level four paladin with a level in sorcerer. And I knew that the CR of these creatures was much higher than me. But I persisted. Oh my god.

Franklin always brings popcorn when he visits the close. So yeah, you've got a shirt of mithril. And you also each, you guys remember that you each have special armor, right? What's the special armor? You're the, like the slide. Yeah. He has special armor that you can use against failed, like complications from coercion or suspicion. Okay. Yeah. Whisper has them versus the supernatural. Cutter has special in fight. Yeah. In damage in battle.

May I, cause I, my, my equipment allows for arcane implements. May I have a bag of holding? You may not. Why? Literally, why the fuck not though? Because they don't exist in this game? I don't know. I made mithril exist. I made mithril exist just now. It's not, I'll tell you right now. It's not mithril. Fuck. Can I have a bag, like a kind of a bag of some holding then? Like, like an expandable bag. Yeah. It's a bag with a shit ton of pockets. Holds a lot of stuff.

Well, cause I mean something to consider. Stretchy, like, like those stretchy shirts. Super stretchy. Okay. Super stretchy. Yeah. Spandex sack. Yeah. Spandex sack. It's from the mech in the mall. I do like also that we're all, we all have huge backpacks on. Yeah. Like we look like little Sherpas. Uh huh. Yeah. You're all like jingling and jangling. You look like Frodo and Sam as they're getting ready to leave the Shire. We're all on our gap year. Uh huh. Yeah. Yes. Exactly. Yeah. Heading to.

Thailand. Thailand, baby. And Fenton like snuck into the mall and he took like a giant brimmed tilly hat. Uh huh. So you look like a, like a 19th century traveler. I look like, I look like those old explorers. Yeah. Super wide. Who like went into the pyramids. Yeah. I, oh, and I, I'm also wearing those tan like outfits that like the British explorers used to wear. Uh huh. Steve Irwin. Yeah. Steve Irwin style, but mine are shorts. Yeah. That's what they wore.

The shorts and they also wore like woolen socks up to their knees. Yes. I'm just, they're dressed exactly like a British explorer. That's so funny. Yeah. And I have a wrist mounted crossbow. Uh huh. Wait, what? Hold on.

I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm I was reading something when you said wrist mounted crossbow.

You haven't said if it's decorative or not. Yeah, totally. It was another gift by Rathgar the Night Blade. Yeah, what are we all wearing? Yeah, what are you guys wearing? Wear because I just… No, I love it. This is my fucking outfit. Franklin's in like full, like, 80s commando camo. Oh, sick. With a red bandana. He's looking like real Rambo in the candy jungle thing and like, like smearing chocolate pudding on his face. Nope. Nope. No. It's cool that you've got chocolate pudding on your face.

It doesn't look like blackface. No, it's just the two lines. It's really dark. It's dark chocolate pudding, so it just looks like, yeah, like football players. Yeah. And you have like painted on scars everywhere and tattoos and like a snake tattoo. Oh, cool. And then like a heart with a mom and a question mark. Fenton did these with a pen. Yeah. Beautiful. Took a while, a few hours for us to get ready. Yeah. And Adric has been watching this fucking gear up process for six hours. Yeah.

Bandeleirs. Way too baggy cargo pants. Yeah. So many pockets. They're candy striped, like a candy cane striped. Yeah, you're gonna blend in perfectly. Yeah, that's true. It can't be just like 80s camo. It's gotta be like kind of candy camo. Yeah. What's Clover wearing? I mean, she's kind of like emo-y now, so she's wearing she's like your typical like Pinterest girl explorer. Like she's wearing a black and red flannel shirt. Nice. With woolen leggings and thick wool socks. Black, of course.

No, red. To match the shirt. Tims. Yeah. Timberlands. And then a toque, of course. Of course. Yeah, a black toque. And a shirt that says like Rhino coffee. That she stole from a coffee shop in the mall. Nice. Yeah, this is the cleanest she's ever looked. Yeah, you look like you're an Instagram model. I don't know what that is, but thank you. I don't think you should bring that Pomeranian with you. Why not? It's part of the look. I feel like it will slow us down or maybe get killed.

Should I bring the Pomeranian or should I bring the husky? Also, whose dogs are these? Let those dogs go. Let those dogs put them down. But how will they find their way back? They'll know. They'll know. Okay. She puts them down. They run like terrified away. She's down into a tunnel. Well, can I at least bring this? And she has a huge water hydro flask. An enormous hydro flask. Yes. Bring that for sure. We definitely do need that. Okay. I don't really drink water.

I don't know why I thought of this. None of us do. Who knows why or how water will come in use. You know what? This doesn't feel natural to me, so I dump out all the pure water and I fill it with kombucha. I'm like, this is better. Yeah. Borba's like, oh, okay. Yeah, and Borba has not changed his clothes at all. He's still wearing shorts. He's wearing a tank top. Classic. Yeah. He's got his security crop top on over his tank top, but he's crossed out security and wrote expedition leader. Nice.

And then he's got a huge backpack covered in pots and pans and has like water bottles carabinered to it. And then he has a baseball bat that he's just like slipped into a loop. Are there, is there like nails through it? Yeah, he put one nail through it. Wow. Well, he tried to put one nail through it so that it doesn't go all the way through the bat. It's just the like flat part of the nail kind of poking out a bit. It's kind of bent too. Yeah. He bent it. Fuck this.

It's bent and then slammed into the wood of the baseball bat. Still gonna add some damage. Yeah. Right. That's what I was thinking. Yeah. And then Adric looks, this is like business Adric. He's wearing close fitting but very high quality leather armor. Like he's got like a leather vest and then like arm pads strapped to his arms and then like tight like leather greaves and thigh guards all the way down his legs. Pouches all around. Wow. He's ditched the cape. He doesn't have a hat on.

Well, he has like a small cap that he's like keeping his hair out of his face with. Whoa. And then he's got his sword and his bag and Taylor's perched on his shoulder. And when we see him, we're like, oh. What? Wow. You're like a real person. What do you mean? Like we feel like we're in costumes now. Yeah. No, children, you look excellent. His mood has changed. It's like, children, you look excellent. The very picture of adventuring couture. Really? Yes. Look at all the things you're wearing.

Okay. Different styles. You've got the brute, the muscle. The sinking shoulder. No, the survival. Look at, pick yourself. Up, boy. And he puts his hands underneath your armpits and picks you up. Look at this. You've got your headband. Keeping the sweat out of your eyes in the heat of battle. You've got this candy camouflage, which is brilliant. I should have thought of that. Really? Yes, this armor. I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb, my boy. And you. Yes. The explorer. Yeah. Sharp-eyed.

Intelligent. Thanks. And prepared for anything. Presumably look at this bag bursting with possibilities. Thank you. I appreciate that. And then Fenton like shoulders the backpack on and then turtles immediately. Like little pots and pans hanging off of it. His legs are wheeling in the air above him. And he's making a turtle noise. And you, young lady. Yeah. Clearly the heart of the group. The thing that binds all of these disparate folk together.

And you can see the forethought that you have put into your comfort, your ease of movement. Quick. Agile. Reacting to threats at a moment's notice. Always ready for a photograph. The chronicler. The one that will come out with a trove of knowledge in her mind. I'll do my best. Oh, I know you will. I know you will. And you. And he turns to Borbo, the guardian. Ready to lay down your life for the ones you love. I know that we can count on you to face these threats head on.

Bat in hand and song in heart. And he claps Borbo on the shoulder. And Borbo's like glaring at him. And he's like, thanks. And he claps him on the shoulder. He goes, I'm proud of you, my son. And Borbo's like, I gotta go. I'm really bad. Father. Father. All right. He grips the sword. Let us commence. I am ready for adventure. All right. To the rear. In through the rear, I say. And out through the hole. Soaking wet if need be. All right. I know you're young.

You don't know what you're saying, but stop. I'm begging you, please. Now you'll be doing the engagement roll. We all know the engagement roll. So first we need to think of the… You keep saying, you guys know what the special armor is. Oh, engagement rolls. Here we are again. I'm just, I'm assuming that at some point over the last two years, you guys have learned some of the rules. The terms seem familiar. They really do. Okay. So first we have to figure out the plan.

What kind of plan we're doing here. So there's assault, deception, stealth, occult, social, and transport. I have a feeling it's stealth. I don't know transport. Yeah, I was thinking transport. So stealth is trespass unseen and transport is carry cargo or people through danger, I guess. I think it's the second one. We're not going anywhere where people will see us. Right. Yeah. So it would be transport. That's true. Okay. So then the detail is the route and the means. Well, we know the route.

Yeah. So we have… Through the rear. And the means of transporting is a goat cart. That's the plan? Is we're going to load up a goat cart with chocolate? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We got that like five episodes ago or something. Yeah. The goat cart's been around for a long time. Yeah. Okay. Then we have the route and we have the means. So then we undertake the engagement roll itself. You start with one dice for sheer luck. Modify the dice pool for any major advantages or disadvantages that apply.

Is this operation particularly bold or daring? Yeah. Yeah. Super. No one's ever gotten in there. Yeah. Take plus one. Is the operation overly complex or contingent on many factors? Yeah. Wait, is it though? Well, you're going into the chocolate factory and then you're taking the chocolate out. I guess it's not that complicated. Like we basically like it's like one way. It's just stuff might happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We don't have to trick a person and then doing this and then like dress up.

Yeah. Mr. Gilbert. You're not timing a bunch of stuff. It's just it's about as simple as your plans have gotten. Really? Yeah. Okay. No, no complication. Then yeah. So you get two dice. I see you all. All gathering dice. That is not how this works. But we're keeping track each on our own. Okay. Does the plans detail expose a vulnerability of the target or hit them where they're weakest? Yeah. In the in the sense that the target is actually the vineyard and Tina Durger. This is a vulnerability.

Is this chocolate and it will hit them where they're weakest where it's like they just don't have they won't have like the whole like one of the basis of their plans. And way over leveraged financially. So I guess yeah, do we it's if we consider the target the vineyard or the chocolate itself is the vineyard. I would say it's the vineyard. I like the vineyard.

All right, then it's plus one die is the target strongest against this approach or do they have particular defenses or special preparations? They do not. I don't think I mean, I would well, she thing and I would argue that the chocolate factory itself is a defense. Oh, yeah, you're right. So overgrown nature. Yeah. So lose one die for that. Fuck. Can any of your friends or contacts provide aid or insight for this operation? Yes. So many people have helping us. Adric. Adric.

Mindy gave us the cart. Yeah, that's true. We got backups if we need. Yeah. Mithril. We have human shields waiting in the tunnels. Yeah. Okay, then yeah, take plus one die. Great. Are there enemies or rivals interfering in this operation? Yeah, I guess she think that any account didn't we? Oh, but you mean like for the defenses or preparations? Yeah. Yeah. Like for this specific. I would say she thing counts more as an enemy or rival. That's interfering in the jungle counts as the defense.

Okay, you lose one die for that. Are there any other elements you want to consider? Maybe a lower tier will give you plus one. Maybe a higher tier will give you minus one. We got like sick outfits. So plus one. That's a great point. Well, we do have Adric Swift maybe the most competent adventure in the world. That's definitely for sure. The first mender in the world. Yeah. Wait, jumping to conclusions. But yeah, I see what you mean. You have a hugely competent adventure on your side.

Turned from their side to our side. That's true. So you take plus one die for that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so that's three dice, which means that you're each going to roll one. And remember, what we're looking for is a six is a good result, which means you'll be in a controlled position when the action starts. Okay. A four to five is a mixed. You'll be in a risky position and a one to three is bad. You'll be in a desperate position. Oh, six. Fuck yes. Three. Four. Four. Okay, so six. Good result.

You're in a controlled position when you reach the first obstacle of your expedition. And the first obstacle of the expedition is probably the chocolate river itself. Oh yeah. Yeah. So you head out through the tunnels trekking along. We hear a classic fantasy movie soundtrack begin to swell. Yeah. Orchestral. Wah! And Freddy goes, sorry, there's something in my throat. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba let the bodies hit the floor. Let the bodies hit the floor. We're all humming different songs.

That's so funny. Balls a balls a bang a bang diggy diggy diggy diggy set the boogie set up drop. It's a cacophony that like Adric is just like, this is insanity. He has like an angry veins throbbing in his forehead. He's just so annoyed. Yeah. He's all over the place tonight. He's either in a great mood excited at the prospect of adventure or feeling the knife's edge under his very boots. Yeah. What's going on with him?

He's just, he's you know, after a century or more on the road, it takes a toll on a man. Okay. Yeah. He's a bit of an adrenaline junkie too. Yeah, and he's hot and cold for sure. Like you guys, you saw him in the motel when you met him. Like his movie moods are very mercurial. Yeah. Oh, sorry. What? No. I was just gonna say it would be really uh, maybe like some of the other kid gangs got like word of what we were doing.

Like that we were going to try to save the mall and everyone else's homes by like undercutting the vineyard and we had to go into the chocolate factory to do it. So like as we're in the final tunnel on the approach, there's just like kids there that are like, candles lit. Yeah. Yeah, like they're like clapping. Yeah. And bowing. Hot meat boys. Yeah. Seamus is there. They've got corn dogs lit for us. Yeah, corn dogs lit. Smoldering dogs. Held by grazers. Gross. It's delicious. Smells delicious.

Yeah. The wild nogs are there. The pixie sticks, Kesserin ropes and her, and her ilk. Yeah. Shadow cloaks. The shadow cloaks are there. Yeah, no candles lit. Yeah. The fudgies. Smart. Yeah, the fudgies. The fudgies, they're wearing Phantom of the Opera masks. Yeah. Where do we burn this shit at? Yeah. God. And they all bow their heads respectfully as you, as you pass by on your expedition. I'm weeping at how beautiful this unity is. Mm-hmm.

Adric looks back, Borbo beaming, and Adric looks back at all of you and smiles in an understanding that you mean something to the people of this mall. That he's happy to be here with you. Uh, and you. I'm just so glad so many of you sacrificial lambs showed up for this adventure today. So many children to fuel the fire of our adventure.

Uh, so you leave this procession of your friends, allies, enemies, et cetera, behind you, and you enter the cramped, narrow labyrinth of tunnels that leads to the chocolate factory. You have to, like, army crawl through parts of it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, totally. And as you're crawling, it goes from, like, muddy, gross, dingy water to, like, sloppy chocolate. Mm-hmm. Smells so sweet. It starts to smell sweet, and everyone's like, oh, this is actually quite nice. It's kind of warm.

I have to say, these are some of the finest tunnels I've ever had to army crawl through. Yeah, and Fenton is like, yes, and I certainly have not been licking. Oh, don't worry, my boy. I am deeply tempted. Fenton has, like, a streak on his nose and mouth and shit. We get to that grate that we came in through. Oh, yeah. And Clover just kicks it. Clang! There's no quiet way to do this. And you exit the tunnel, and you enter into this other world. There are sounds that you can't place.

There are animals moving about that you can't see. Smells. Smells. The air is sticky sweet, humid almost. And you reach the crossing. The bridge to this place long since destroyed. It fell away many, many years ago into the waters of chocolate. But this is the thing that separates the good toilet from the rest of… You see the candy grass on the other side of the river. How far do we think the other side of the river is? Far enough that the kids have never tried to get across before. Yeah.

So it could be like, it's five feet. It wouldn't have to be much at all. It's like almost taller than Franklin. Uh-huh. Yeah. So you get to the edge, and there's just candy grass on the other side waving. The dark confines of the factory recede away from you. Oh yeah. Can you describe what we're seeing a little bit more? Yeah, I mean so part of the scary thing here is that for the most part all you're seeing is probably five, almost six foot high candy grass.

Oh, this could be kind of like a swampish area. Yes. Oh, yeah. I was picturing pixie rushes. Yeah. And then the chocolate rivers wind through and split off at certain points, so we'd have to be careful where we step. Yeah. It's sludgy. It's totally… Like we're definitely like ankle deep at least. Yeah. Boggish delta land style. Yeah. Yeah, you see little gusher flies flitting around in the grass, glowing from their delicious juices inside their chewy butts.

And we want to eat it so bad, but we know it's dangerous too. I know. I want to eat that chewy butt. I always want to eat them. And you hear like a as like a little caramel frog hops into the chocolate water. Chocolate frog. Uh-huh. I like that. It's bloop bloop bloop. Uh, and Adric turns to you, settles the straps on his bag, and goes, alright children, the adventure begins. Pavante! And he turns and takes two steps and leaps. Whoa! Holy shit!

Across, and he leaps to the point like, Taylor's wings uh, flip out behind him. He's just like, wah! Boy, his cool little wings for a second. Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah. They frame Adric. Angels. Yeah. And he lands on the other side. Wow. And it was actually a crazy jump. He went like twelve feet or something. Yeah, like nuts. Yeah. And Franklin says, alright guys, Pavante! And then he jumps. And does it make it? Or, should I roll? You're in a controlled position. Okay.

So, so we, we can figure out how you're gonna make it across, but it sounds like Franklin just goes for it. Yeah. Yeah. This is my finesse, I guess. Totally would. Yeah. So you're controlled, and it'll be uh, I mean, we said, Abdul just said it was twelve feet across, which is a little further than… Well, he landed twelve feet across. No, he, yeah, it was like, Adric landed twelve feet away. But it's still the same distance. Gotcha, gotcha. So what action are you using?

I am going to use finesse, which is two in my prowess. Finesse. Yeah, I have finesse. Yeah, so how are you using his finesse? Just like, impeccable like, long jump technique. I'm gonna do pirouette. I'm gonna run up and then pirouette spin over. I see. Yeah, okay. Yeah, when you watch someone do like a long jump, it's like their technique has to be perfect. Uh-huh. And I'm gonna stick as I run up to the edge of the on our side, I'm gonna stick in a stake with a licorice rope.

And then I'll jump over. Perfect. Okay. Alright. I got a four and a two. Partial success, you do it but you suffer a consequence. You run out, you leap, you try to plant the stake, and it drops into the chocolate. Guys, sorry! It's okay. I'm sure we can make it. So what are the others doing? I've realized we could probably do like a group action or something like that. Fenton and I could do a group action. Yeah. Sorry guys, I totally bailed. Okay. I just wanted a Havardian jump.

Yeah, that was the thing. It was Franklin just went, I'm going for it! How could we get across? Borbo's over here too, right? You know what? We're gonna do that thing where Borbo like, we step on Borbo's like hands. And he throws us like in a swimming pool? Yeah, he propels us. Yeah, exactly. Like we're gonna, we're pretending we're like going for a dive. Yeah, totally. But we're trying not to get in the water. Yeah. We're trying to get thrown and land as hard as possible.

On the hardest part of the ground. Exactly. When Borbo tries to throw us outside of the pool. Yeah. We flash back to like, we're at the crystal pool. Yeah. And like Borbo's like, I think I can get you guys into the hot tub from here. No way! Oh my god, you have to. The hot tub is 20 feet away. And we're like, absolutely you can. Yeah, just line up kids and remember, I'm gonna whip you hard and you gotta go limp. Yeah. And there's the shot shows us and like our eyes are closed like, yes!

It's clear we're not gonna make it by like seven feet. It cuts away just before you hit the ground. Yeah. Alright, you kids remember what to do, right? Totally. Yeah. Throwing a cannonball into concrete. Oh god. Alright, so we're gonna do a group action which means you're all, you're both rolling the same thing. Which is? You tell me. I feel like finesse is the thing that makes the most sense. That's true, we have to be very synchronized. Yeah. Totally.

Wait, he's throwing both of us at the same time? Yes. Okay. Not what I expected, but okay. And I try to like explain science, which is incorrect, to Fenton and I'm like, look, in terms of like the gravity of us and then the velocity equals speed, so therefore we have to go at the same time. Uh huh. We both need both of our masses for the speed to be twice as much. Exactly. Yeah. Alright. Buckle up.

I like that Borba's also like, I'm gonna fucking throw two kids across this river and it's gonna be wicked. Watch this. Agent Shift is gonna be so impressed with what I'm about to do. Alright. And he crouches down and he holds his hands out. One of you, you each put a foot in. So, you're both rolling finesse? Yeah, I only get one die. And one of you is the leader, so who's the leader? If I have prowess and finesse, like, I get two. Uh, yeah, that means you get two.

Yeah, Clover's obviously the leader on this. Sure, I'll be the leader. So that means that you'll take one stress if Fenton fails. No problem. Yeah. Alright, roll it. Whoa! Three. Three and five. Okay, so five is a partial success. Woohoo! You take one stress because Fenton fails. And the partial success, the consequence of this is what? Borbo is on the other side. Oh yeah.

He didn't even think about it until you got over there, but he like, whipped you over and you're both sailing through the air and he goes, go limp! Go limp! And we go limp and land hard. Yeah, and Fenton has a huge backpack on, so he like, hits the ground and the backpack sandwiches him. Uh huh. But right before that, he was who can say where the wind goes, blowsing. Yeah, exactly. Borblosing. You're like, who can say where the wind borblows? That's excellent.

And then Borbo is standing on the other side and he's looking at the chocolate water and he's hesitating a lot. Borbo, you can make it. What's going on, bud? I don't know if I ever told you kids this, but I can't swim. Sorry, I thought you were going to say, I can't jump. That is such an Abdul thing to come up with. I don't know how to jump. I never learned. Yeah, I can't, uh, I'm gonna find, I'll just find another way around. I'll find another way around. No, Borbo, we need you.

You're the leader. You're security. You don't need to swim. None of us did. Okay. I am expedition leader. You're right. I have to learn to overcome my fear. My fear of swimming in chocolate. It's a fear that I've had my entire life and I have to overcome it now. Kind of seems like it's culminating in this one moment. This is a big moment for me, kids. I don't know if it's clear to you. Borbo, Borbo, Borbo, Borbo, Borbo, Borbo, Borbo.

He walks back a couple steps and then he jump leaps through the air, windmilling his arms. Yes. Go limp. And he goes limp at the last second. And he goes, I'm doing it. I'm overcoming all of my fear. Oh, fuck, fuck, oh, fuck. And he is laying on the ground going, oh, my ankle. Oh my god, what'd you do? I twisted my ankle. I twisted my ankle real bad. Oh, that looks bad. I twisted it real bad. Can we, Clover, do you have anything to help? Set his ankle? Could I use one of my armor as like…

No, your armor is your armor, unfortunately. Okay, what about a tinkering tool? Could I have a tinkering tool? Where I like, make like a little splint or cast or something out of the candy grass? Uh… Yeah. Like a nice wrap? Yeah, okay. So you're gonna roll, this is a roll then. Alright. Okay. Oh, two and six. Oh, six. Okay, so you get the six. Oh, yeah. And you make a little splint out of the candy grass and some stuff you have. Yeah, I kind of weave like a bandage. Mm-hmm.

A long bandage and I tie it tightly around his ankle. Nice. Stabilize it. Nice. And I have candy Can I give him like a… Is there like an analgesic candy that we have? Like a pain reliever? Oh, okay, like a pain… Yeah, you might have a candy that… Yes. But what about like a couple wine gums? Yeah. Yeah. A couple wine gums would work. Yeah. Uh, I do have one like whiskey snap left. Oh, yeah. It works alright. Let's give him that. Alright.

So yeah, check off drugs is what I assume you're checking off. Oh, drugs. Right. A bump of trans powder. Oh, don't you have drugs on… I do have drugs. Yeah. So I just use the drugs Well, I mean, those are… That's candy. Yeah. Like you don't just have actual drugs. Yeah. Uh, he stands up, gingerly puts some weight on his twisted ankle. He's still gonna limp a little bit. Yeah. But he's like, you know what? I don't even fucking care anymore. Nice. This is great. I'm having a blast.

How many wine gums did you give him? I gave him a bag. Oh, wow. You said one or two. Gums. Not bags. What? Solo gums. Oh my god. Hey, hey, hey, hey. The bags are family packs. And you know what, guys? One family is eating these together. A family of mums. I don't know. You know what, guys? It is a family pack because you're my family. Thanks, Borbo. And I feel like I'm… You're my pack. You know? Pack of wolves. He's sitting in the goat cart. Yeah. We have to keep…

We have to try and keep him alive. I'm gonna keep an eye on the cart. I'm not even, uh, worried about, uh, you know, now that I think about pack of wolves, there might be some wolves that's looking for the cart. So I'm gonna sit on the cart and keep an eye out for the wolves. And you know, my ankle feels better than ever, honestly. Stronger than it's ever been. I don't even… Can't even tell that I do have them ankles. I don't even need ankles anymore, I don't think.

I'm just gonna go leg and then foot. If you kids see anything Cool Ranch out there, send them my way. Did you say Cool Ranch? And yeah, now you've got a slightly inebriated Borbo sitting in the cart. He's not gonna be a ton of help right now, but he is. Definitely not the leader of this expedition anymore. I'm a leader. I'm a leader of expedition. Okay, you're the leader for sure, Pet. I'm the leader of expedition. Yeah. Check out my flag. He's holding a wolf flag.

Hey, if you guys see an expedition out there, you come tell me, okay? Sure thing. You get it, but… And, uh, he is now asleep. Yeah. Alright, children. Onwards and upwards, I say. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Clover's quiet meditation room. I'm about to play for you the sound of majestic ocean waves. Aroma, aroma. Flavors, flavors. Style, style. Plates, plates. Oofs, oofs. Tired of the same old breakfast, breakfast. Come on down, come. To oofs, oofs, oofs.

Designer breakfast for designer women. See you there. In the Yesterland food cart. Oofs. Welcome, trainers. My name is Luis. And I am Chris. We welcome all trainers, new and old, to the Purify Podcast. We rant about Pokemon Go, a game we love just as much as everybody else. We like to talk news, updates, and our own experience of gameplay. If you want real opinions about how we play and how we love this game, this is the podcast for you. Check us out on your favorite podcast feed.

With the shopper who owns a white Audi suit of armor, please return to Parking Deck 3. Your alarm is sounding. Well, that was the wrong bottle, so I apologize for that. I'll try that again next time. See you later. Alright, children. Onwards and upwards, I say. What's next on the map? And he unrolls the map. What's the next threat that's been marked down? To cross the bullrush part. Like the long grass and who knows what's hiding in the long grass. Yeah, totally. The tall grass.

Where we got chased by those fucking long-fingered goblins before. Yeah, gross. Alright. So the next part is crossing the candy grass plains. What lurks within these shadowy realms? The last time we came through here, some weird long-fingered creatures were following us. Mm-hmm. They look like, kind of like, elves, but like really fucked up. You already know what those are. I've seen you enter a counseling session with one. Oh, the hobnoblin? Yeah. But the hobnoblin's cute. Yeah, these are wild.

These are insane things. Hobnoblins are monsters. Don't you dare call Rara a monster. And then from my backpack you hear Is he with you? You brought it with you? No. No. Get him out here. That was me I made that noise. Get him out here right now. It's because I just shit my pants and then Fenton goes He'll do it. Young man, get that hobnoblin out here right now. And Fenton throws his pack to the ground and kicks it open impudently. You were so mad at having to get Rara out that you kicked him.

So Rara comes tumbling out? Yeah, and he's like I knew it. I knew that you brought this little thing in here with you. What? Maybe this thing can help us parlay with the other things and talk to them and help us get through. Rara, we need to get through. Send her to call that we're here for no harm. Send her to call and draw attention to all of us right now.

And he salutes and he walks up, he stands up on a little chocolate boulder that's sticking up out of the thing and he puts his big long fingered hands to his mouth. Raaaaaam! Got there just before me. Sorry. No, that's okay. And why would you ever want him to do this? I'm asking. I did not ask him to do this. I meant like put a call out with the Ram Rans or to help us parlay our way through. Exactly, if he's like one of them, they're gonna trust him. Cause they probably know we're here already.

They're not stupid. Well, I mean they actually are very stupid. Okay, fine. But we are stupider. Like you guys have amazingly made friends with Rara but he is a wild animal basically. But yeah, you hear and the grass, the grass starts shaking and then like Two arms! There's like dozens, wait you're gonna fight them? No, I'm just getting ready. Oh yeah. Hands on swords. Wait, wait, wait, we have to come in peace, remember? Yeah, we have to come in peace.

So we have to appear non-threatening says Fenton. So he lifts his belly up and lies down on the ground. Lifts his shirt up to Joe's belly. Franklin starts picking his balls and his nostrils with two different fingers. The least threatening thing possible. Clover does the squat with her hands up like in a prayer next to her face like, we're cool. Yeah, trying to look super cool. Like in Instagram. Yeah, exactly. She puts a pair of wire rimmed glasses on. Less threatening.

And Adric is just watching you all do this. And Fenton's like, get on the fucking ground, dude! So this sounds like it's gonna be a group action because you're trying to calm them. Hell yeah. Pretty risky, I'd say. Yeah, this is risky for sure. I would honestly say almost desperate if it wasn't for Rang Rang. Yeah. So this is, it has thankfully been risky. It's gonna be standard effect. Is this like consort? Oh, consort. I mean, you guys tell me. Consort, I can see being used, yeah. Sure. Yeah.

Okay. So that means I have two. Yeah, so everyone's rolling consort. I have one. And it is, who's the leader? She's got two, excuse me. Okay. I also have two. Oh yeah, and you brought Rang Rang into you. Yeah. Okay, yeah. That makes sense. Oh yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Okay, so yeah, everybody that fails is gonna be one stress for Fenton. Okay, here we go. Oh my god, you're almost taking Doesn't matter! Okay. Five and two. Six. I got one and a three. And a six, thank god. So, uh.

I take one stress? Yeah. Yeah. It also, I feel like you should know this, and I feel like maybe we did know this, but if you, cause I know, if you fill your stress out and take a drama, you're out of the job. What? Whoa! Yeah. That's how it's always worked. Clover wasn't out of the job. Yeah, she was. Oh, shit. Yes, I was. We forgot that. Oh, gosh. Shit. Yeah, so if you take a stress, I have one more stress. So wait, how can you, how do we avoid stress again? Uh, armor. Uh, you can.

Can I use the armor? How? Can you? Cause I have special armor. Cause I. Oh my gosh, what if your armor is a paper mache that you made and it calms you down? Yeah. I mean, I, yeah, you can use it if you want, yeah. Yeah, I'll use it. Okay. So what are the hobnoblins that come out of the candy grass look like? Long, wild hair. They're wearing like candy skirts, like candy grass skirts. Oh, yeah. Candy grass skirts.

I'm a, maybe they're like old, old Scotland and Ireland, like they have like blue whorls, like candy paint on their faces. Like Pictish people? Yeah, like they look like pics. Yeah. Yes, I like that a lot. And they come swarming out and there's like dozens of them. Yeah. You can, and you can see more movement in the grass and they're like And one of them steps ahead from the group and we The largest one? Yeah, and we recognize that there's a familial similarity between this one and Rara. Oh.

And this one is large and is carrying a spear. Wow. Whoa. Uh, with a ring pop that's been sucked to a vicious point. Nice. Wow. He stares down Rara. Yeah, and goes Rara. Whoa. Oh, is this his dad? I don't know. What's Rara dressed as? Just for comedy. Uh, Rara has always kind of dressed the same. He's wearing like a… Paper bag princess style? Yeah, he's wearing a paper bag. Nice. Like cargo shorts that he made out of paper bag, basically. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

But he does have his therapy cardigan on. Yeah, and uh, some Pinsonese glasses. And uh, the chieftain. Of the Hobnoblins is, they're very aggressively like Rarararararara Rarararararara And all the Hobnoblins are like Rarararararara And Rara holds up his hands and goes Rararararara Can we shift perspective to actually understand? Yeah, to English? Dude, I don't know how, yeah, okay. Like the Quiltry kids don't understand it. They just see this rabble happening.

But we wanna kinda go into like Rara world and here. Yeah, exactly. So we're in, we're seeing Rara. Rararararara Father! Rarararararara This, these children are my family. Oh god. I have taken their guardianship under my protection. And we must travel through these lands unharmed or the world around us will be torn to flinders. Rarararararara Rarararararara Uh, they are our last hope. Yeah, oh the destruction of their homeland. Yeah. The impeding doom.

The destruction that came to us lo those many centuries ago shall come to all outside these candy forests. And all the Raras go And his father steps forward. Oh, sorry. They are whom the prophecy foretells. Oh no! There is a hobnoblin prophecy about three shit shit knobs. That like, that an elder says that and he holds up a scroll and it's a picture of Fenton on the ground with his belly exposed. A Gelandus cube with bones inside of it.

They hold up uh, yeah, a a hunched over old hobnoblin elder walks forward with their robe. They are the children from the ancient scrolls! And he holds up a battered piece of cardboard and it's got a painted picture on it. An old faded painted picture. And there is a a brown haired kid wearing like a white hat and shirt and then a blonde kid in a blue shirt and a neckerchief. And then a even darker haired kid in a red shirt surrounding a bowl of what looks like a delicious breakfast cereal.

It's like, I believe that these children represent the ancient gods of Snap, Crackle, and Pop! The stories they tell that these children would come and will save our people. Is this true, Achilles? Achilles? Ray, our answer is Achilles. I believe it is, father. And I think that you must let us pass unharmed. These children will not bring any woe to our people and will in fact be our salvation.

And he bangs his, uh, push pop spear on the ground and the hob noblins separate leaving a path between they push the grasses aside separating this field before you like the Red Sea itself. And shift back to our perspective and what we're seeing is like them hunched over like little dogs snapping at each other and one of them is like gripping a piece of like wet cardboard in its hands. Is that Lucky Charms? And then they all back into the grass. Holy shit.

And, uh, Ra-Ra turns around and puts a fist on his chest and bows to you. And Fenton puts his fist on his chest and like goes to one knee and he goes, I am forever in your debt. And then he grabs your bag and he grabs a big pepperoni out of it and shoves it in his mouth and he disappears into the grass. That's our Ra-Ra. Ba da ba ba da ba. And Adric looks around and goes, I have no fucking idea what that was. But I suppose it's, uh, safe for us to pass through.

There's an entire world of amazing prophecy. I love it. Yeah, I think Ra-Ra cleared the path for us. Alright. So you continue on your journey. The grass is around you smelling deliciously of lemon, lime, orange, various citrus flavors. Oh, it's summer. It's summer in here. Yeah. You can feel it flaking off and you can smell the delicious chemical scent of all these artificial fruit flavors around you. What is the next obstacle? The candy fog. Yeah. Oh. That's cool. Yeah.

And, uh, Adric holds out a hand and bubblegum. And a pink fog. Rolls in around you, surrounding you completely, almost snuffing out your light sources in its potency. Oh. What do you do? You hear in the fog, like, I have a spirit mask, it says in my gear. What is that? I don't know. I don't know either. So, I'll tell you what it is in Blades in the Dark and you can tell me what yours is. So, spirit masks in Blades in the Dark mean you put it on and you can see ghosts. Yeah. Whoa. Great.

I like that very much. Immediately, I thought about, like, the space stickers that, like, glow in the dark. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Wait, what are those? Like, the little stars and planets that you would put that kids would put on, like, the ceilings. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Or, like, kaleidoscope eyes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's great. Or, put the and. Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't have to be or. I know. Yeah. That's great. These are just thoughts. Uh-huh. Glow in the dark kaleidoscope mask. Yeah.

Maybe you set it to different, like, the kaleidoscopes are set to different horoscopes. Oh! Yes! So you can be like, cool. Leo, Leo Mercury. Oh, yes. Or whatever your horoscopes are. Yeah. That's smart. So this is a mask that Clover's made. I made it. Yeah. It was actually a thing that Greg and I did a couple years ago as, like, a little project. Yeah. Yeah. Back when you tried school for a week and they were like. I tried school for a week. And they were like, this is weird.

And they kicked me out because the project was stupid. Yeah, Greg got you into the school, like, the elementary school. Yes. Or middle school, I guess, at the mall. And then, yeah, you got kicked out. I know. Because it was a crafts class and you made this horrific mask. But also kind of works. Yeah, it definitely does work. Yeah, they didn't believe me. They were just freaked out by you. So they were like, get out of here. It scared the other kids so much.

They were just like, we had too many complaints from, like, the rich kids' parents. You can't be in this school. Yeah. Yeah, so the mask is pretty, is actually pretty simple looking. It's, um, black glass. Mmm. Mmm! That I've stuck glow-in-the-dark, like, star and space stickers on. Cool. Just for looks. Because I thought it was cool. Yeah, and it is cool. Yeah, but the eyes are lenses that you would flip around to different zodiacs. Uh-huh.

And the different lens colors are different, like, colors of crystal and stones and stuff. Oh, cool. You can see through. Very fun. And it will, like, depending which one you pick, it'll filter out certain light. Yeah. Colors, I mean. Totally. So you can see through it. Yeah. I really like that she's actually, she's kind of figured out a way of, like, filtering out different light bands. Yeah. Yes. With all these weird colored lenses. Yeah. And this is, like, the bubble gum fog.

So she's working out to take out, like, the red light. Yeah. Oh, that's so cool. Maybe, you remember those goggles that the sniper had? Oh. That was made out of the blue crystal that's, like, maybe. Yes. That's what kind of it is. Yeah. One of the, one of the, like, crystals in there is, like, actually magic, like, it filters out or in magic light. Yeah. Smart. Very cool. Uh, okay, so this is going to be, uh, still risky. Okay.

And probably limited because Clover's the only one that will be able to see you regardless. Like, even if you can lead people, you're going to be leading people that are basically blinded. Right. So what action do you think you're using for this? I think a tune. Yeah, totally. So, and I have one in resolve and one in a tune. Yeah, so that's two dice. Okay. Yeah. Brilliant. Thanks. Wait, how long have you had that thing? Oh, a few years. Oh my god.

Fenton is, is hanging back because he's genuinely scared of it. I've been here for so long and I face, I completely face Fenton. Oh! She looks like a weird space bug. Yeah. Chill out. She took it out for Halloween one year and it Fenton has been fucking terrified of it since. When she turns all the other lenses, like, move out on their own momentum so it's just this freaky face. Four and five. Five, okay. So on a risky, on a four to five, you do it but there's a consequence.

You suffer harm, a complication occurs, you have reduced effect or end up in a desperate position. Wow. So you like mess with your lenses to the point where you're able to see through the fog a little bit. You can't like perfectly see through it but you can see a lot further than your companions can. Yeah. And that is when you clear the fog and you've started leaving the candy grass so it's a little more open around here.

And whatever light amplifying effects the glasses are having make it a little less dark for you too. We're all tied behind her like on a rope like kids at a preschool going for a walk around the neighborhood. Oh yeah. Exactly. Including Adric. Yeah, exactly. He fought but we're like no. Yes. Very important. Yeah. And Borba's like, you're all doing a great job. Thank you, Borba. And that is you set your lenses to the point where you're like, ah perfect, this is what the setting is.

And you are looking right at a horrible candy creature. Whoa. What is it? You had an idea of like a gummy velociraptor. Well that's what I was picturing because of the Jurassic Park vibes of it. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Gummy, gummy raptors. It's got the soft weird outline of a gummy dinosaur. It's a dino-sour. Yes. Thank you. So it's like all jelly-like and then it scales our hard sugar. Yes. Yes. And it's also kind of 2D. Like it's from the front it's a little hard to see.

I was gonna say 2D, yeah. And then turns to the side and we're like holy mackerel, it's huge. It's enormous. But yeah, you see it like crouching low in front of you. Oh boy. And it's stalking towards you. It thinks that you can't see it. And I say, Franklin you're right about the gummy velociraptors. If we hold still it can't see us. Don't move anyone. No, that's not true. It's looking right at us. No, that's not true.

It's kind of doing this like slinking walk towards you so like you see it side on and you're like oh my god. And then for a second when it turns towards you it almost looks like it disappears for a second. Yeah. And then you see it broadside so yeah, what do you guys do? I have my thing. Can you, did you aim for me? Like can you tell me where? To your left. Okay, so this is. I have a slingshot. Yeah, so this is desperate for sure. Cause you can't even see. I have a mega bomb sour ball. Perfect.

Okay, point it more that way. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I get her, like Franklin closes his eyes. Let your eyes be mine eyes. Indeed. No, open your eyes. What are you doing? It's right in front of you. It's a desperate action for one. Clover can see. So it would probably be standard effect if you can hit it. And it sounds like Clover is aiding you. Which means she could take a stress to give you plus one die. Sure, I'll do that. Do I get two? I only have two left but it's probably okay. Nope.

You have two stress you can take. No, no, no. It's not okay. I don't, don't do it. Cause I. Like that's, you're using one of your remaining two? No, I'll have two after this. Oh, okay. No, this is two. There's gonna be a lot of stress I think. Yeah, we're. We have to be careful actually here. We're pushing ourselves pretty hard. Yeah, this is this is uh, this will be interesting. I don't need it. I got the bow. And dice. Okay. Uh, so yeah, what are we, what is it? Skirmish? I guess? Yeah.

Or finesse. Finesse is my prowess. Finesse you're trying to hit delicately? Two die. Okay. Okay. And I have one in finesse and two prowess. Is that three die? Yes it is, yeah. Yes! Four, three, two. The four is a partial success. Uh, so yeah, you with Clover's uh, help. She points you in the direction. You close your eyes. You let the spirit blow through you. Yeah, it hits like the hindquarters of it. Yeah. And whatever, what did you say this was? It was a mega sour bomb something or other?

Yeah, a mega bomb. A mega, a nuclear sour. Yeah, totally. And it like pops when it hits it and blows a little gummy chunk out of its hindquarters. Yeah, part of the tail. It starts hanging off. Oh yeah. And it's just like gooping all over the place. And it somebody make a, uh, dino sour gummy dinosaur noise of pain. Oh, gross. Yeah. Oh, you mean the animal noise? Yeah. But I mean, I didn't hate the like, blop. It's weird little gummy organs.

So you, yeah, you fire your nuclear sour hard ball candy thing. And it blows this section out of the dinosaur's hindquarters and it makes some disgusting gummy reptile noise and tries to angle. It's, you surprised it. It did not expect this kind of resistance from a seemingly wandering pack of children and one man and a drunk 20-something. So what do you do? It's preparing to attack. It's gonna try and charge you. Fenton has his cane sword, so he throws it to Franklin.

And Adric steps forward too. He's got his sword out in front of him. Oh, nice. I like that. I think if we can cut it to pieces, we'll be fine. I mean, it's made of jelly. Yeah. It shouldn't be hard. Yes, that is a, that is a generally in a fight, that is the thing that I try and do. Cut it to pieces. Well, you didn't have to say it like that. I'm sorry. Clover's all embarrassed. No, Clover, I'm stressed out. You're doing a great job. I need you to tell me where this thing is. We're kids.

Sometimes we say stupid shit. No, it's, I'm sorry I'm stressed out. That was rude of me. It was rude of me. Clover, tell me where it is. It's right behind you. What? Just silence. Yeah. How, how do we, how do we handle the actions of a character in a combat situation that is not a player character? It feels like it's Clover's role, cause she's, like a survey, like, or something, like pointing out where it is. I think it's a, or a command or survey. Command. Command. It's command.

You're 100% right. So you command him and then I'll have my rules of my cutting. So I'll roll one for, cause I only have one in resolve. Yeah, so it is, again, it is desperate because he can't see it, but it will be great effect because he is such a skilled sword for, er, standard probably, cause he can't see it. Standard. He can't see it. Yeah. So, four. Four, okay, so then I guess we're gonna do limited effect again where he, like, as you're like, it's right behind you. He's just like, what?

Yeah, he just whips around and brings it up, like, turn and swing in one movement. And you see, it actually slices off the front part of its snout. Yeah. And it just flies off in a big green gummy chunk and goes like, I can't do that, like, gross reptile trill that I love so much. But it recedes back into the fog again and Clover can see it, like, doing the loping run around the edges, trying to find a good angle to attack you from. I wanna use Fen's clean, cane sword. Yeah. I like that idea.

And then also with, uh, another, I'll put three cand- sharpened, uh, whittled candy canes. Sucked candy canes. Gotcha. So I'm going in with a wolverine. Wolverines, yeah. And a sword. He's doing a berserker! I'm using two in prowess and one in, uh, the finesse. Oh, no, skirmish. And is this a group action cause I'm helping, too? Uh, it could be a group action cause everybody's helping. Yeah, I'm commanding, I guess. So I'll do one. Yeah. Okay, so who's the leader? I am.

Okay, so you're taking stress if people fail. Great, I have lots of room. And what, you're all using, what, skirmish? Yep, skirmish. Cause we have to use the same thing, right? Yes, for a group action you do, yeah. Sounds good. Okay. Five. Six. Six. Whoa. Six, that counts as a critical. Yes! Yes! So, describe this. Okay, so I tell Franklin to run up straight ahead. And then, spin to your right! And then I, like, I, Fenton uses math.

Now, he knows math, so he's like, I know, he like, he constructs the scene in his head. Oh. Like, like, I don't know. Like, Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock Holmes. Where he's like, he can hear everyone's voices and he's like, I know where he's gonna be. And he takes the cane sword, and then unsheathes it before he throws it. And then whips it at where he thinks Franklin is gonna be. And as Franklin is reaching out, the cane sword meets his hand. Yeah! Right when it needs to.

And I come down to like, a samurai swing down, and then up with the Wolverine candy claws. Yeah. And you just, you shear it right off at the neck, just whack! Head gone. And as you're like, oh my god, the gummy part is still moving. Like, it's like, no head, but the body still moves. Wolverine claws slice, Wolverine claws slice. Yeah. And then it is just a pile of, yeah, jiggling goo and sugar and corn syrup. And you feel a, you feel a hand grip your shoulder. It's just me, boy. It's just me.

You did an excellent job just then. And he reaches down and he grasps your hand and he pulls you to your feet. Nice. He has my foot. He can't see. He yanks you into the air. Oh shit! Alright. You children. We might make adventures of you yet. Onwards. And I believe that is where we're gonna end it for this week. I'm your Game Master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always, playing Finn Beasley the Slyde, Abdul Aziz. So long everybody. Playing Franklin Stein the Cutter, Paul Oppers. Take care.

Playing Clover Ivyfern the Whisper, Jessica Tai. Goodbye everyone. Thank you to all of you susporters out there. Susporting this show, it wouldn't be possible if you weren't susporting. So thanks for that. Thank you to Kelly and Kelly Creative in Vancouver for letting us use their incredible recording space this weekend. Thank you to Samuel Quinn Morris for our intro and outro music. An amazing gift that we are thankful for every day. And thank you once more to you for listening.

We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of the Cool Treat Kids. Always up to no good. So tiny and greedy and angsty they be. As they navigate crime and puberty. And though our journey may be lie a conclusion. We will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to the chocolate store. As the Cool Treat Kids plan their next score. And for you I'll gladly spout more. And so ends the tale of the Cool Treat Kids. Spout more.