Episode 12 – The Early Blade Gets The Dark

Pickaxe You've seen them around, they sell sweets by the pound Their wares are famously tasty So here I sing, singing to you Of crimes involving chemistry Clover's the whisper, she makes all the sweets She has a corndog addiction Lenten's the slob, she sleeps in a safe And writes vampire fanfiction Franklin's the cutter, his fighters strength Despite his dance, his heart Best and brightest, they may not be But that's my favorite part So gather round, friends Endless in clothe For the tale's about to start Uh, okay, hell, fuck, hell yeah, guys, everybody Welcome to Spoutmore Mall Brats I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara Joining me, as always, playing Fist of the Fenton Beasley the Slide Abdul Aziz Hello Playing Franklin Stein the Cutter Paul Oppers Hello Playing Clover Ivy Fern the Whisper Jessica Tai Hello Uh, when last we left our heroes We did some downtime activities So we haven't really left our heroes It's more like bookkeeping Is what we did But we, we're all played all that bookkeeping So it kind of counts as an episode Is what I'm gonna say So that we could release it as an episode I mean, it's still really fun Yeah And it was, like, a long time It was, like, an hour and a half Yeah Yeah Um, and I am struggling a little bit to remember But there was some vice indulging Yep Clover got a bunch of corndogs Found out that Seamus has been talking about her Yeah, uh, we had the little book Um, that says Grind Penderson is the manager of the Charles booth Right, yeah And we got Gorb Yeah, we turned Gorb He's no longer my nemesis I think I have to take him out of my nemesis And look for a new nemesis Oh, yeah Yeah He's our dad Yeah, he's our dad Oh, wait, he's back in as my nemesis Classic nemesis My dad Uh, yeah, right Corb Green, halfling detective And member of mall security Arrived to question you regarding your recent Brash activities at the fudgies booth And, uh, has agreed How so?

The abject chaos that you all caused And immediately took ownership of Uh, and he has agreed that he's gonna help you Try and figure out who your patron is And, uh, he's gonna help you figure out who your patron is So he can get to the bottom of what's going on with the food court Mm-hmm Because things are starting to heat up in the Highest Beer Mall Plus, it's really good fodder for his next novel Yeah, exactly Oh, yeah Uh, and Franklin did some dancing Yeah, I removed the soles of my shoes Right You should see me glide, guys We have been Smooth, and the floors are so clean now Yeah He's been sashaying so much, it's nice Sliding around You received a request from your patron Mm-hmm To rescue your patron To rescue the Highest Beer Mall's Mall Charles On the, uh, run-up to Charles Eve And I think we got We gathered some information Clover did Mm-hmm That it was He was kidnapped by a cabal of dads Oh, yeah Called the Barbecue Kings Yeah Who left, who didn't schedule their Right Yeah, what did you say?

They waited Oh, yeah, it was like Their wives had asked them to book spots for their kids for the photos And they book up really fast And these dads all forgot until, like, Charles Eve Eve So they're like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna go to the barbeque king's So they're like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna go to the barbeque king's So they're like, oh, fuck So they went and stole Charles To do a private photo shoot Private photo shoot for their kids I can't wait to see what their homemade version of the Charles Eve set You know, like, cause they're gonna have it Like, oh, he's right here Yeah All just shitty dad stuff put together Yeah Uh, great And that is where we find our heroes We also did establish one other thing Maybe off my Oh, the vineyard?

Yeah, the barbecue dads are the enforcer Barbecue kings Sorry, the barbecue kings are the enforcers The enforcer gang for the vineyards Which is the gang that is full of just their wives Yeah, but it's a fairly high tier criminal organization It's basically a wine club of the upper middle class merchant women in the mall Who pull the strings on a lot of shit And their meetings are called book club Yeah, yeah, totally And that is where we find our heroes now In the planning phase, I suppose Yeah We gotta figure out where they're keeping Charles And then we're gonna go to the barbeque king's And then we gotta figure out a plan for getting in And getting out Yeah Anybody?

Gather information rolls to remind people Is a straight up fortune roll with one of your skills That you can convince me can be used to gather info Okay And then depending on the result That determines the quality of your information Yeah, we gotta find out where they're keeping him Maybe in Maybe we have to go to their kind of headquarters Yeah Do we know where their headquarters are? Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah! Have a barbecue stand? Oh. A spit roast in the mall?

If they operate out of anywhere, it's probably basically the fantasy equivalent of the West Edmonton Malls. What is it called? Bourbon Row or whatever it is. What is that? It's basically like a fake Louisiana, New Orleans street. And it's all restaurants and bars. Oh my God. So much like smoked meats. Yeah. Okay. Exactly. So there's like steakhouses, burger places, barbecue shacks. And that is where a lot of the Barbecue Kings own businesses. Oh, and theirs was like really popular in the 70s.

They haven't got a lot of patrons lately. Yeah. It's definitely an older crowd in the, in a, what do we call this? The man cave. Yes. Great. It's so cool now in my mind because it's a literal cave. Oh, it's designed to be a cave. They have caveman themed meats. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A man cave. It sounds like the Barbecue Kings might've started as like, um, I guess I'm sure they had, they still have a band. They have a band. Yeah.

But, uh, I think if they all have restaurants in the same general zone, they like banded together to be like, we're going to help each other out. Probably knocked out a lot of, uh, competing businesses. Yeah. Maybe they would each kind of like semi successful. And then they were like, we can take over this whole bourbon robe. We just get together. Yeah, exactly.

If there's anybody that's going to be running all the casual family dining experiences in the mall, it's, the barbecue king semi-casual we got bars sections as well smoking non-smoking if you don't have waitresses in your place that are wearing uncomfortably revealing outfits get the fuck out of the main I imagine the vineyard hates that oh yeah I'm just imagining the owner of every original joe's franchise in the country oh yeah yeah cargo shorts flip flops a tommy bahamut shirt yeah on top way too much gel in their hair oh yeah so much an apron that says kiss the cook they've got like thick forearms like they're really strong but also fat yeah tiny upper arms huge beer belly skinny legs but like huge calves yeah standing around so big I've always standing around jessica's stepdad has like unbelievably muscular legs and then his arms are huge like he's a classic barbecue dad shape I was imagining your stepdad yeah I also imagine my grandpa yeah totally absolutely the shape and of course reg and reg yeah if you're out there reg you're we're basing a bunch of villains after you and I'm sorry he was like the nicest guy to me but he would never let me touch his barbecue like even if I want to just get the food that was ready for myself no he was like no no I open it and I will serve you what the fuck is going on with this guy okay barbecue the man cave operating area of the barbecue kings great love it so we know that that's where their shit is and we now we got to figure out where charles is yeah where they're keeping charles okay well we have to go to this restaurant okay so you guys go to the man cave with zero dollars zero dollars zero plan zero appetite can we get a project clock before we start this just so we get a sense of how far we are from the end oh yeah that's great so this is a project clock for finding charles I guess so yeah and then we'd have another one for getting them out yeah no like project clocks come up a lot more than I've been using them like this will be find out where charles is right that's what the success of this clock is yeah and is it now just four because this is like action rolls you can get a varying amount of ticks from one to three so I'm gonna say it's a six step clock okay I'm gonna put a paper in the middle like last time sure yeah six yeah six step clock and there'll be some oops you're so close yeah well now hold on slow down think about it one two three four five what the fuck wait what just go right through the other side right through the other side we make an extra one no no one could you you fucking idiot that's gonna work I guess that's it here we go there's five step it's a five step clock with a chunk hanging off of it looks like alfred hitchcock it does look like alfred hitchcock I guess they don't know how to draw a six segment pie what if you did this though is that sick yeah oh we're all stuck now is that six no it's seven because there's one in the middle okay can I try this is just for us because this is visual bags um okay so yeah that's a good six that's a good clock for you guys to have view of there'll be some that I'll just be tracking okay because clocks are also um like if you were like we're gonna try and uh incapacitate this guard and you fail then I could be actually incapacitating this guard is going to be like a four-step clock because he's kind of tough oh yeah yeah that's how I'm supposed to be using clocks okay yeah cool yeah okay let's let's talk about what happens you guys go to the man cave do you take your bikes do you walk bikes for sure oh yeah yeah we have to impress these dads yeah are we gonna impress them like your shit up that's what I imagine clover is dressed like you right now oh yeah I'm wearing my pajamas super baggy shirt yeah baggy shorts yeah I got linen uh linen pajamas from greg my old man friend um and I ripped the like arms and legs a bit so that they wouldn't be too long on me but they're really baggy nice and what does everybody else look like sailor suit for fenton sailor suit yeah cane sword and fenton added a clip on his bike that is he can clip the cane sword too his bike still has training wheels on the back and the front yeah can I add that I'm also wearing jelly sandals yeah totally uh okay now that abdul has mentioned the uh the cane sword that reminds me you're on the job now officially so mark off whatever level of equipment you're going to be using for this job what what allows us like yeah light normal heavy loads yeah so you're choosing one of those light is like no one will know that you have this stuff on you okay medium is you've got like a backpack and people are like okay so they're carrying stuff you know it basically makes you more or less noticeable heavy is like why the fuck is that person carrying so much shit okay I'm gonna have normal so I'll have my my basket on my bike with stuff okay I see light is three yeah I just I'm gonna take light and with the cane sword which I can't believe it's just like an adult sized cane sword that you walk around with all the time you don't have parents yeah it's just a cane most of the time oh no I don't mean that it's a sword I just mean that it's weird for a kid dressed like a sailor to be carrying around a cane with presumably some kind of cobra head on it it's weird that we're living in a in an abandoned chocolate factory all of this is weird my friend that's a great point what's franklin wearing franklin's going light yeah he's got a green beret on and is that it in his uh soulless chucks and um um um cut off um what are they called spandex jeans you know those jeans that are actually spandex jeggings you're wearing cutoffs they're jorgans jorgans short shagging shagging shagging he's got shaggings on and a cutoff short and a fanny pack because he's just got a light yeah a light one but it's turned around uh-huh um and a red bow tie and his tuxedo t-shirt I'm a green beret I imagine the the jegging shorts are really riding up because usually they have like they're rolling yeah yeah it's because because the knees usually keep them in place yeah yeah he keeps tugging them down like oh boy I'm gonna drop a trow when when clover said that she was just wearing like a baggy shirt in shorts I was like okay cool pretty normal and I was like man fen just walks around dressed like a sailor all the time that's so weird and then you described franklin's outfit and I was like the other two are fine no one's gonna be looking at them shaggings I really like the word shaggings shorts jeggings short jeggings yeah yeah shaggings uh great okay you arrive at the man cave it's um a good distance from where you live we've never named like the area of the mall that you're from candy cane lane candy cane lane's pretty good you live in candy cane lane which is mostly abandoned because everybody's so scared of the abandoned chocolate factory and the man cave is quite a distance it takes you like 20 minutes to bike there holy shit mostly because there are people in the mall and you're trying to bike around people I don't like people it's a lot of stopping you know putting your feet down and then picking your bike up and spinning it and it's also the charles eve uh crowd so it's really busy yeah there are lots of people from outside the mall not as many as big market but it's pretty busy they have so many bags yeah uh and you get to the man cave and there's like um jazz music playing like jaunty jazz music playing on the uh tubes that are connected to the the bottles in this area yeah they're connected to like speakers yeah yeah it's real um real bourbon street style like new orleans jazz yeah and it's is the man cave are we saying it's like a pretty big wide open like food court looking zone oh I was thinking you can have that inside with a very narrow entrance so it's oh yeah so you like go in like oh yeah opens up totally and it's kind of like a little bit of a like a little bit of a like a little bit of a like a little bit of a like a like a cavern looking place there's fake stalactites and stalagmites that have like the different signs on them and stuff uh-huh yeah oh they have like the lights are on the end of the yeah stalag lights yeah stalag lights pretty cute yeah perfect and you see the various incredibly gaudy restaurants of the barbecue kings laid out before you and there's like girls in front of each of them with trays that are like hey try our thing come inside yeah like yeah lighters yeah wearing togas like animal print oh yeah yeah things because I kind of want that to be like one restaurant's thing like it's definitely still cave themed but one of them maybe the biggest one is like the cave yeah the cave and it's caveman themed and then there are other restaurants oh yeah that are other themed semi-casual family style oh the man cave isn't just one restaurant that's what it's kind of like a food court of restaurants you know when you're like at the airport and there's like the section of like you can eat here yeah but it's probably near another food court of other restaurants yeah totally and this is all of the slightly out of fashion now uh sit down family style semi-casual can we all describe one I'm that's what I was about to ask I'm so glad jessica's got an idea I think so jessica go first oh earls just exactly the same as our universe yeah but uh they they serve things like shrimp scampi and they're like baja fish tacos and the dad is named earl yeah of course of course run by earl what are the girls outside giving out samples look like they are wearing just like black mini dresses um and they have a lot of makeup on great oh my god does fenton have a crush yeah fenton and franklin are just staring we're like clover why don't you do that to your face I don't know I could ask them how please do excuse me ladies uh huh they're not really sure how to they're not really trained to deal with kids they're only trained to squeeze tips out of sad old men so they're like hi there hi um you guys look really pretty uh and the waitress that you're talking to is just like oh thank you aren't you the cutest little thing thanks how do you make your face like that like my my friend fenton said why don't I look like that and I was like good question why don't I how do I how do I do things like with the lines on my eyes and the make my mouth colorful gotcha uh and the waitress that you're talking to is just like oh thank you aren't you the cutest little thing is just like uh uh why why why do you why would you want to look at your beautiful lovely lavender hair oh thank you actually I don't know why I would want colorful lips other than maybe it's just fun and okay fenton walks up at that point and he's like uh hey there ladies I just wanted to say that you're both looking quite lovely today and as I noticed that a lot of the other men in this area are giving lovely ladies money here's my money and you give them what a wad of like four spear books uh we can't we can't accept tips like this little boy but the way you look makes me want to give you more no keep this for yourself uh little girl you know makeup is a fun thing people can choose to wear makeup if they want to uh and there are plenty of places in the mall that would be more than happy to help you look however you want to look you also you don't have to wear makeup to be pretty but penn's trying to he's really trying to give him money I have to slap your hand like stop there he said no you can't force people to give money and I think it's just like I don't know what's going on in my head I can't stop giving them money just put it in your pocket and he goes to put in his pocket and just like oh handfuls like oh wow I take the money I'll be holding on I'll hold on to it so I kind of want to ask these ladies have you two seen a charles lately like what like the mall charles so that would be consort okay so 2d6 yeah and take the lowest because you don't have consort whoa okay nice I'm asking because about the makeup because I wanted to look cool for my photos with charles but he's not around and so I just want to I just want to see if he's been here or if you've seen him what's this casual arm alternating over the back of your chair move you're doing I'm doing it like if like was like hanging out with her bike you know she's standing with her bike and she just keeps like loafing back to look cool and one of the one of the servers goes like oh charles yeah I think I saw it and the other one goes like no yeah I don't know I don't know what you could uh what you could be talking about but I'm sure charles will turn up it'll that's the miracle of charles eve right but I'm supposed to get my photo taken with him and I'm very sad that he's not there right now where'd you see him I I I don't know what you're talking about I didn't see we didn't see charles anywhere but the way that she stopped the other girl from saying yeah we saw him makes you think okay so he's at least been here recently uh so that gives you two ticks on the fine charles clock and also I will start my own clock all right well thanks anyway here's a tip I throw the money at them but like nicely hey guys yeah what's up what'd you find out definitely saw charles but they're trying to keep it secret maybe he's in here in the man cave sniff him out we all start sniffing smells pretty good it's decimal it smells like barbecue sauce oh my god I'm so hungry great what's up everybody it's your boy borbo borbon borbilo and I'm trying to go on tour with my band b4 the burly beach bop bros and we've got some sponsors that we need to play to raise tour funds check them out are you a budding detective I want to be do-gooder or just have an eye for detail are you looking for a task that will be both rewarding and help those in need then please help me I'm stuck in the service elevator behind the caprice theater laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter pry the door open with my keys, but I dropped them down a hole and just made it worse.

Please hurry. In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war. And podcasts! I'm Rob, Kevin, Dennis, and Richard, and we're the Preferred Enemies, a show about the Warhammer 40,000 Wargame. Whether you're a seasoned tabletop veteran, or someone who's never moved a mini around a table, we invite you to join us as we talk about the lore, the game, the hobby, and our experiences with Warhammer 40k. That's Preferred Enemies on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Well, I think all of that stuff sounds pretty sick, and I would buy it all now. Is that it? Have I fulfilled my contractual obligation? Yeah, you can leave. Okay, great. Bye. Okay, bye. Yeah, let's talk about the next restaurant, Paul. It's called Mamma Mia's. Tell me a little bit about Mamma Mia's. What's it look like? What's its general theme? It's very lovely, and mostly mom-themed. Mom-themed. Very nice. Things are kept very tidy. It smells like down-home cooking.

They have a pizza pie that's like a crusted pie with pizza toppings inside of it, and they do a meatloaf, which is bread that you can get sandwiches in. Everyone's wearing like an old-timey 50s-style diner mom's. Nice. It's like a greasy spoon. Okay, great. Do we want to investigate Mamma Mia's? I'm going to order a drink, just a pine cola. Oh, hi. Hey, sorry. Excuse me. Can I get some service over here? Flo, is it? It is Flo. How'd you know? Because you're all named Flo.

It's part of your gimmick, I guess. It is. All our name tags say Flo on them. Huh. I demand satisfaction, and I also… Alright, slow your roll there, little boy. Franklin's being a bit of a dink because he's trying to be a bit of a Chad. Yeah, so you're challenging her to a duel. Basically. I'm here for… Pine cola, please. One large. Yeah, of course. Would you like it to go, or would you like to sit down? I would love to sit down, please. Of course. For one or for three? Uh, for one.

And I guess we walk away then. Oh, for three. For three of us. Okay, no problem. I'll put you in our finest booth. It's right by the window with a beautiful view of the man cave's most majestic stalactites. Ooh. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, of course. Come on in. And she sits… She takes you in and sits you in a very comfortable booth. Gives you those plastic laminated menus that are two pages front and back. Yeah. Oh my god. There's so many words on this. Here you go.

Can I start you off with something to drink? We need a minute, thank you. Why are you being so rude? Okay. Maybe when I come back, you can work on that tone of yours, young man. Oh, I like the theme of this place. It's mom's, right? Yeah, it's mom's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she goes away clucking her tongue, going that kid. Is that… He takes after his father. Is that what we're supposed to do here? Treat them like shit? No, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be mad to the moms. It's really hard.

I really want to give her a hug, but I also have a plan, guys. When she brings me the drink, I'm gonna spill it on my lap and then demand to speak to the manager. Whoa! Oh, yeah, that's a good plan. Yeah. I saw my, uh, PO officer do it once. Cool move. Yeah. We gotta see that guy again. I really like him. He's pretty good. Uh, Flo returns. Did you have some time to look at the menus? Here, I'll take that. Boosh! Oh, what did you do? I'm so sorry. He says with his eyes.

This was your plan to do it right in front of her? Because if he does it himself, it's not her fault. Then he can't demand satisfaction. Satisfaction? You mean to see the manager? Yeah, for satisfaction. Okay. Uh, okay, yeah. So this is, um… Does this make sense? I mean, barely, Franklin says. It is a very Franklin plan. It totally is. Thank you. Uh, so this is what we would call a desperate role. She kinda knows that it was me, but also she has to, uh, Yeah. What do you… Now, hold on.

We're not playing Legion World. What are you doing? Oh, I'm using my command to, um, command her to go get the manager. Yeah. Or maybe take us to his office. Yeah. So that we can look around and see if there's any evidence of a Charles kidnapping. Don't worry. I think we can elevate this situation to an office visit. I came in at 11. I'm so sorry, everybody. Okay, great. Um, command will work. Great. And, uh, highest and lowest of these two. Five and five. Fucking shit. You're so cool.

Net rolling dice. It's not the first time I got free cola, gang. Okay, so you get two more checks on the fine Charles clock. Oh, sick. We are half, over halfway done with this. Uh, okay, great. Um, This is crazy. So, what, what's your move here? Take us to your manager's office? Right now, he says. My jords, my shaggings, they're ruined. He's, he worked for so long to cut these off. Uh, she says, okay, now hold now. Just hold on. Hold on. No need to make a scene.

I'm no, I know it's not your fault. You work long hours. You know, you deserve not to be treated like this. I'm sorry. It's not you. I just, I demand satisfaction. What kind of satisfaction do you mean? Satisfaction is not a guarantee at this restaurant. Yeah, it is. I pull up the menu and on the back in little writing, it says your satisfaction guaranteed. Oh, yeah. Okay. So, satisfaction is guaranteed in this restaurant. Fuck me. Goddamn son of a bitch. Take you to status. You're sad.

You're 100% satisfaction would be to go to the manager's office to speak with the manager. Please. I just, I don't want to talk to him about the cups that he has here. I mean, they shouldn't be falling over that easy, and I know you don't order the cups. It's not your fault. Of course, I don't order the cups. No. All right. Come with me. Come with me. Thank you. And she takes you around the corner of the L shape that Mama Mia's is with booths lining, you know, the outside walls.

And takes you into the back past the bathrooms. And there's the, uh, you know, the flutter open and close doors that restaurants have. And immediately to the right is the manager's office. And the manager is Paul. Um, a mom. Oh, a mom member of the Barbecue Kings. Who is the female Barbecue King? Oh, yeah. Oh, I guess her name's Mia. Mia. Oh, yeah. Mia. Mama Mia. Yeah. And her wife is in the vineyards. Yeah. I will say that there, because that was, um, oh, no, it was just risky.

Uh, but a secret clock has ticked twice. What is this secret clock? Tell me what the secret clock is. What is the secret? It is a secret. Okay. So, the manager, Mia, is in her office. Uh, and Mia looks exactly like my, in my mind, Mia looks exactly like my real life Aunt Brenda. She's real stocky. Yep. A low center of gravity. She's wearing shorts.

Uh, she's got a kind of baggy t-shirt that looks like it's for a sports team, a local sports team that she's on, and she's sitting at a desk writing on some papers, and Flo goes, uh, Mia? And she's like, yeah, what's going on? Uh, there's some kids here that have demanded satisfaction. Well, that is one of our guarantees here at Mama Mia's. So, uh, come on in, kids. Hi. Hi. So, sorry, sorry to bug you. I love, love your restaurant. Long time meter, first time talker to manager.

How, how's your day? Oh, my day's going great. You know, every day, at Mama Mia's is pretty good. Can I study the room for information? Oh. Um. Cause I'm gonna keep looking. Yeah. Yeah. I can't see why not. You guys are distracting her. Okay, so, so what is your goal here? What are you looking for exactly? I'm looking for evidence of Charles and maybe where he is. So, you're just looking around, not moving, just like swinging your eyes about? Weirdly still, he stays. Yeah.

Uh, so that's gonna be. Stiffens up a weirdo amount. Okay, so that's gonna be risky limited, I'm gonna say, because if you're not moving around, it's gonna be harder to track stuff down. And this is what you're rolling 2d6, taking the lowest? Yeah, I don't have anything I can use. Can it be a grip action? Are you just looking around, or is everybody looking around together? All looking around. We're all looking around, and Franklin is, like, really talking at Mia to distract the fuck out of her.

And I'm also looking around, but. Yeah. All our eyes are doing that. Yeah. Independently, like, chameleons. Hey, kid, pay attention. Sorry, we all have ADD. We're so bad at focusing. My eye is up here, and so is my other one. Gabe, both of yours on both of mine. She's having a stroke. He's having a seizure. He's so still. Still, so still. Perfect.

So the way a group action works is, uh, everybody rolls the same action, so you'd all be rolling study, and whoever is leading it will take a point of stress for everybody that fails the roll. I'll do it. Because I'm right down stress. I really leave a lot of my stress. And I'm, this is my restaurant go. Alright. Yeah, totally. Uh, so it is gonna be limited, so even if you succeed, um, it'll be one tick on the clock. Yeah.

Unless you can convince me that you have, like, an item or something that would help you. Didn't you have subterfuge tools? Yeah. What could one of those, is there a subterfuge tool that you could have that would help you? That would let me see something? Like a little pocket cam? Yeah, camera. A video camcorder. A hidden audio recording thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe he just pulls binoculars out of his backpack, like a little spaz, and, like, fucking puts them up to his eyes, and he's like, I need these to see. That's funny. She would not know why. It's just a stupid kid thing to do. Like, I have binoculars. I'm just gonna look at stuff in your office if you don't mind. Wow, look at all those awards you have. Yeah, she looks at me, and she's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, I'm a birder! I look at birds!

So how are Franklin and Clover aiding Fenton in this? I mean, I'm talking to her about the cups and just trying to… He's playing it really cool. He turned the chair around, and he's like, listen, we gotta talk. These cups, you know they're shit. You cheap down the cups. Just own up to it. My uncle, he sells cups. Okay. Fuck, I'm really getting myself into it. He says that under his breath to Clover. Yeah, this is a good tack. What's Clover doing? I could have the cup.

You brought a cup from the restaurant to be like, what about these ones? Maybe it was just part of my gear. Yeah, what's on your gear? Yeah, what is it? There's no cups on my list. Arcane implements. Arcane implements? You're an alchemist. You could have one of your little bottles, like jars or something like that. Yeah, I have a mason jar. Fuck yeah. And I help you by putting that down, and I'm like, for example, this is a good drinking device because it doesn't flare out.

It's just up and down. And look, I tap it. I'm like, doesn't even fall over. She laughs like, you know what? I kind of like that. I kind of like the idea of drinking out of mason cups. It's fun. It's homey. It's rustic. Nothing says mom like mason jars. I hear that. I hear that. So each of you take your stress and Fenton is rolling two dice instead of rolling two and taking the lowest. Good job, everybody. This is teamwork. Teamwork. Teamwork. Group action. What the fucking shit is going on?

Oh, good. Oh, he has the binoculars backwards. He's got. Yeah, I got two ones. Oh, okay. So yeah. Okay, so it was risky, which is great, which means a secret clock ticks twice more. Oh, what is this secret? You're at a number out of another number. Oh, my fucking God. Shit. And she's talking to you about the cups and the mason jar. And is like, this is great. I love this. What a great idea. And she sees Fenton with his binoculars just looking at shit in the office.

She's like, hey, kid, what are you doing? And I lower the binoculars and I'm like, I'm looking for a northern flicker. Yeah. What's that? It's a type of bird. Okay. Not going to find any birds in here. Only one bird in this office and it's Mia. So and she as you're doing this, she takes a bunch of papers off her desk. And puts them on her lap. We got to get those papers. You're not getting those papers. I'll tell you that much. Franklin said that out loud. What do you mean?

You got to get these papers. These are my papers. What's on them? None of your business kids. What kind of do you want your 100% satisfaction guaranteed regarding the cup incident? It's been satisfied. Thank you so much. We will return your money for your drink. Can we have the soda please that I spilt at least? Yeah, flow will take you. You know, you go back out to the seating area. Do whatever you want. Enjoy your time at Mama Mia's. We'll get it to go this time. Thank you very well.

Thanks Mia. Yeah. See you later kids. And she looks after you suspiciously. We love we all I look back suspiciously. Close my door. Bye. Let me know if you see that northern fucker. Close the door. And you're given a pine cola to go and ushered out of Mama Mia's by flow. Fuck. Sorry guys. That's okay. There was too much Vaseline on the wings for me to see anything much Vaseline. Why did you Vaseline your binoculars? I didn't. There's just loose Vaseline in my bag.

Okay, I have all those mason jars at home that you can use for your Vaseline and I don't know why you just put loose liquid in all your bags. It's a consistent problem with Fenton that he just has loose liquid. Yeah, consistency problem that we have with Fenton loose goo just around. Yeah. Okay. So Mama Mia's. Ain't going to give up no gold, but we got one more restaurant to introduce and also the cave remains. Let's try another restaurant. Yeah. So what's the third restaurant? Mr.

Mike's casual steakhouse. Don't just name after restaurants. I love that like early on in the podcast when we introduced the high spirit mall, we still had Wes as a producer and he's like we really shouldn't just be naming things like the names of real things is a joke. We should be trying to come up with our own stuff when we're like, yeah, fair enough to know Wes isn't here in 90% of our business names are just places. Mr. Mike's casual. Okay, let's try and mix this up a little bit. Fine. Mr.

Mike's casual steak has an eatery and Mike's and then in parentheses, but also still part of the name is pleaded khakis mandatory. So it's Mr. On the sign. Mr. Yeah. Mr. Mike's casual steak has an eatery pleaded khakis mandatory pleaded khakis mandatory if you please owned by I assume a guy named Mike now his last why would you assume that his last name is Mike? Of course, my first name is not Mike. It's Dan. I'm Dan Mike. Mr. Dan Mike. Okay, it's my father.

So all of the I am at one of the servers look like are they just guys in pleaded khakis. No, it's it's it's kind of like good looking girls again pleaded khakis, but they're in pleaded khakis and polo shirts. I assume yes, yes mandatory. It is mandatory. They're pleaded khaki skirts. Okay, squirts squirts, but you think this is just a skirt. No dice. It's both.

So yeah, there are a couple servers outside wearing pleaded khaki squirts and tasteful baby blue polo shirts and they have plates of just chunks of steak. I have a plan, but I need Mr. Gilbert to come out of retirement. Why is he always in retirement? Because you say that every time I get and Clover. I need you to pretend to be Mr. Gilbert's daughter. Okay, Wilhelmina Gilbert. It's a hard name to remember. I'll try so we go around the corner done the Mr. Gilbert disguise.

Okay, then we come out my shoulders. My neck is getting I know and Fenton's been putting on weight to so it's not great. Franklin started a secret clock where he's building a little saddle for Mr. Gilbert and Jones. I didn't tell you about that and we walk up to the servers at Mr. Mike's casual steakhouse. Yeah, an eatery pleaded khakis mandatory. Yeah, say the whole thing and I'm holding Clover's hand. They see you walking up and they go. Hello, sir. What a cute little daughter you have.

Welcome to Mr. Mike's casual steakhouse and eatery pleaded khakis required. Can we help you? Hi, I actually here because I heard that Mr. Mike can arrange Charles Eve photograph for people who maybe missed the booking. You really went. Yeah, why don't we do that? That was I wouldn't piss off this way. I just like that Franklin is sitting underneath like I was like, oh, of course, the fuck. Of course we should have done this first. Oh, hi, I'm here for my photo shoot.

Yeah, instead I need to see your manager because I spilled pine coal and it looks like I peed myself. Oh, yeah, his crotch is super sticky right now. Oh, man. Okay, great. So they both look at each other like, you know, side eye. I'm not sure that I know what you're talking about, sir. And I want to use my ability to lie as consort. No, sway. And really like just be like, I know something's going on and I'm desperate. Which means it's a desperate situation. Yeah. But yeah, Mr.

Gilbert is like a real sweaty kind of dude. So he's like, come on, please. My wife's gonna fucking kill me. She's already she wants to leave me not really for another person just just to not be with me which is worse. I think that's great. Franklin's inside. Damn, dude. Depressing. Great. So I'm saying I'm thinking this is going to be desperate standard unless you can convince me that it's going to be great. And I have an idea for what's called a devil's bargain.

Something that's going to happen. Regardless, but you get an extra die for it. Okay, what is it? I'm going to take my mystery clock. Okay, cool. Get an extra die and you get an extra tick on that mystery clock. Is there anything that you want to do to try and make this desperate great? Because if you get great, that's three ticks and you'll find Charles. What? We only need two ticks to find Charles. I wish that were true. Oh, right. Yes, that bump is not one. Yeah, we filled God for that.

Sorry, I drew this clock so bad. Oh, no, that was Alfred Hitchcock. Okay, I remember now. Yeah, so you only need two more. So if you succeed at this, bingo, bango. Yeah. Yeah. So you want that die and I get to take my clock? I don't really need it. Okay, fine. You don't have to take it. Who's the devil in this bargain, Sean? You know what? Maybe I will take it. No, no, no, no. If you don't want it, you don't have to take it. I kind of like risk. So spicy. Mr. Gilbert is a real risk taker.

Yeah, not just because it's two kids in a trench coat. I become Mr. Gilbert when I get on your shoulders. I can't Mr. Gilbert. I can't believe the flexibility that I allow you with your two kids in a trench coat move like a little baby face like they've just for some reason accepted that you're a person. I think there's a lot of weird looking people in the mall. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus. Okay. So yeah, roll it six. Damn. Damn it. Do you have the highest one? Yeah. Yeah. That's it.

You get to take you get to finish that Charles clock. Yes. We did it. We found Charles somehow and I haven't been able to complete my mystery clock. So what's the information that we got from the first restaurant? The information was just that he's clearly been here and seen but they're like no. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's why we stuck around and kept asking fucking questions and Mamma Mia is involved. Yeah, she has papers. She has papers and she put them on her ample lap. Her ample lap.

Ah, it's creating a shelf protection. Now she has a shelf at front and back. Sorry, Brenda. God, Mia's dragging around a shelf. You know what I mean? Looks like she's pushing one too. Yeah, this is two of the shitty dads in Barbecue King's talking. Yeah. God, Mia's dragging around a shelf. You know, she's not really my thing, I guess, but no, no, she's my thing. I think about it. I gave it a second thought. She's my thing. Yeah. And so Mamma Mia that confirmed you're on the right track.

And now because you took the most obvious tack, which is trying to get somebody to tell you where you can get the pictures. Genius. The server that you're talking to is like, I couldn't possibly know what you're talking about, sir. Can I interest you in a free sample of our tenderloin? She winks. I would love your tenderloins. And then Fenton takes I'm sorry. That's fine. Fenton takes his hand. Not that one. Oh, maybe the one furthest to the left. My left. Your right.

Fenton's also not great at left or right. Oh, fuck. Franklin sticks his hand and I look down like, okay, yeah, that way. What is it? It's a piece of steak. Okay, I take that one. I take it. I put it in my mouth. Yeah. I start chewing it. You feel something in your mouth that's not steak. And then I I clench it between my teeth and I'm like, thank you very much. Good. Good. Timmy, should I walk away before I? Yeah, you should go. Okay. Thank you very much. Thank you, sir, for visiting Mr.

Mike's Steakhouse and Eat. Casual Steakhouse and Eatery. Pleated khakis required. Next time, come back with some pleated khakis. You haven't seen the khakis below his trench coat. And you don't want to because it'll fucking freak you the fuck out. Bye, sir. Come on, Wilhelmina. Let's get out of here. Okay, bye. Bye. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. So you have a thing in your mouth. You spit it out and it's a slip of paper. Oh, nice. Clover, please read this for me. No problem. It says…

It's an address. Make it up. Like a location. So choose what the location is. Jessica's so excited to come up with an address. There's just so much power involved. What should it be? It should be within the mall, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, preferably. Yeah. Dad's love basements. Very good idea. The garage. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, the den. Dad's love garage. The den. The den. The den. Check out my den. And for a second you guys are looking at this like, what the fuck is the den? And the den… Oh, wait.

There's more. The den in brackets and billiards. Oh. It's an exclusive billiards club beneath the cave. And now having discovered the location of the secret photo shoot involving the illicitly kidnapped small Charles, the next step for the cool tree kids is to infiltrate the cave. But that's where we're gonna end it for this episode. I'm your game master Sean O'Hara. Joining me as always playing Fenton Beasley, the slide, Abdul Aziz. So long, everybody.

Playing Franklin Stein, the cutter, Paul Offers. Peace out. And playing Clover Ivy Fern, the whisper, Jessica Tai. Bye. Thank you to our incredible Patreons, the supporters. Without you, this game wouldn't be possible. And we appreciate it every single time we play. Thank you so much. We'll see you next time. And so ends the tale of the cool tree kids. Always up to no good. So tiny and greedy and angsty they be. As they navigate crime and puberty.

And though our journey may be like a conclusion, we will not leave you without a resolution. Return next week to the chocolate store as the cool tree kids plan their next score. And for you, I'll be back. I'll gladly spout more.