Episode 17 – A Blade a Day Keeps the Dark Away

Pickaxe You've seen them around, they sell sweets by the pound They're aware of the famously tasty Here I sing, singing to you Of crimes involving chemistry Clover's the whisperer, she makes all the sweets She has a coin of addiction Benton's the sly, she sleeps the same And writes vampire fanfiction Franklin's the cutter, his fighters strength Despite his dance, his heart Best and brightest, they may not be But that's my favorite part So gather round, friends And listen close For the tale's about to start Welcome to this episode of Speltmore Mall Brats I'm your game master, Sean O'Hara Joining me as always playing Fenton Beasley the Sly Dumbbells Hello, everybody Playing Franklin Stein the Cutter, Paul Oppers Hey, how's it going?

Playing Clover Ivy Fern the Whisperer, Jessica Tai Hello, everyone When last we left our heroes They had arrived finally At the My Alchemical Romance concert Meeting up with their dates Fenton and Franklin had a nice time As their dates arrived And the vibe was generally on par Mindy Cart showed up for her date With Franklin the Goth Oh, heart of God Dressed head to toe In a midnight black wedding dress With a veil and a parasol Yeah Clearly unsure of what she's doing In terms of trying to be a goth girl Penny, last name unknown Yeah Fenton's erstwhile eight-year-old date Showed up in a pink tutu Because she's just here to have fun Yeah She doesn't know what's going on She doesn't seem to know anything at all Mm-hmm Like, I don't know that she knows more than 45 words And you know what?

We're rapidly approaching word number 45 Yeah But her and Fenton seem to be having a great time Unfortunately for Clover Clover has discovered that Seamus Seamason Didn't want to be seen with her in front of his friends Slash hot meat boys Co-gangsters Because the factional violence and friction Between the Cool Tree Kids and the hot meat boys He says makes it difficult to be seen with her in public And Clover Told Seamus to go fuck himself I think fortunately You know, right?

Yeah She got right out of the gate Didn't get tangled up Mm-hmm As Nimrod Yeah, that's true And then upon entering the venue The Cool Tree Kids realized That they hadn't been given much information On the caterer that they were attempting to sabotage So a series of fact-finding missions were undertaken In a way that initially seemed Baffling But became effective The kids discovered that the Catering is being handled by a group called Kneels on Wheels That is run by a man named Neil And there is a series of food carts That have been pulled up to the venue By Wooly Pigs And pressed up against a series of food service windows Mm-hmm And that was the information that was gleaned Just before the lights flashed And the concert began And that is where we find our heroes now Entering the Coxborough Hawthorne Memorial Auditorium What kind of auditorium is it?

Like, what does it look like on the inside? Uh, it is A natural bowl A natural bowl?

Like a land A natural land bowl With seats carved out of the earth Like the Hollywood Bowl Oh, cool And it's a dome, like, past Really high ceiling Is it open air or is it, like It's open air into the mall Oh, yeah So there's a roof Yeah But there is open air And because the The High Spear Mall is the High Spear Mall It looks like it wasn't open air It looks like it wasn't open air It's like a carved rock amphitheater kind of thing And then higher up you get on the walls You start seeing the structures That have since been bolted on So there's the usual kind of, like I think people live up there Sort of thing Oh, it would be really funny If there were, like, balconies And you could see, like The rich kids up in the balconies Oh, yeah Like the Humberstone twins are up there There's a hot tub balcony There's just a bunch of rich kids in a hot tub The Humberstone twins are in the hot tub balcony With all of the With a group of rich kids That you see Some part of the High Spear Mall's underworld Some not Pixie sticks are up there, too Oh, yeah Definitely the pixie sticks And you guys This is kind of a Who's who of High Spear Mall's kid gangs Like, you see the wild nogs Over in the distance One on his bike And a security guard's like You gotta get off the bike You can't get I'm not anywhere without my bike, man You're not gonna separate a nog from his hog Flips up his jean vest And the security guard just picks him up off the bike What are some other gangs that we've run into?

I mean The fudgios The fudgios Oh, the fudgios The fudgies They're, like They're goth now Burned Yeah, and they're all goths Like, they're wearing black sweaters With black collared shirts underneath Oh, no Oh, no Oh, no We tipped them over Yeah, we look over there We're like Maybe let's avoid them There's a lot of guilt there, I think I think we've been Oh, no And everybody's kind of Do the Cool Treat kids, do we think, have seats? Or are they just kind of, like, standing room only?

I think everyone has seats Okay So Doris would have been able to get you guys seats together Oh, yeah But Clover Because Borbo had to steal some tickets Oh Would be away from you guys So unless you wanna Wait, no Wouldn't we have gotten five seats together? And then Oh, yeah And Borbo needed to steal one He needed to steal one more Oh, so I'm with you guys Yeah Well, did Clover tear up? The extra one with the seat that was far away Or the one that was with her friends?

Oh Yeah, she definitely didn't check So it very well could be the seat that was with you guys Oh, no The 50-50 chance Yeah Can we roll a fortune die? 1d6 Oh, that's fun Oh One That's a one Oh, shit So is that bad?

That's bad That's about the worst it can be So you all start moving towards your seats And Clover is following, of course Yeah And then you get there And Franklin and Mindy take their seats And Penny and Fenton find their seats And there's a gigantic person in Yeah There's a guy who's like 6'5 Probably like close to 290 pounds I found this ripped up ticket outside I just taped it back together They let me do this They were impressed with how quickly I did the puzzle Ticket's as ripped as I am He's just looking at his ticket like I did a good job Excuse me, sir Yeah?

I think you're in my seat Nope Look And he says, this is my ticket I put it together all by myself But Wait I look at my ticket Oh, no Would you like to trade? I don't know Because then I can sit with my friends Come on, man I don't know I'm pretty proud of the ticket job that I did Look, did you see?

I did It's only I only tore in three pieces, though Yeah, but I found all three Yeah, cool It's because I threw them in one pile And then I Sir, you don't get it I just had my heart broken Like, the love of my life Turned me down And I just want to sit with my friends Because I feel really alone and sad Come on All right, so I'm just going to have to roll something Is this a team?

This sounds like a team Yeah, we're all trying to convince him So everybody's going to roll sway So if you don't have sway or Okay, now hold on Wait, I want to make sure that I know Oh, shit No, I'm going to let No, let's all take our rolls back Because we all rolled two Oh, shit I know, I'm going to let that slide Because I wanted to know how many dice Everybody had before you rolled Oh, sorry Stop rolling Taking it back Stop rolling Just one Okay, so Clover has one resolve I don't have resolve or sway Oh, so you're rolling two and taking the worst Shit Is that how it works?

Yep Now, what is A couple sixes would be good And Franklin I got one in resolve So I'll take the highest Okay, yep So you'll take one And then Franklin has I have one in resolve And I do have I have sway Okay, so you're rolling two And you're taking the highest This is a perfect balance Okay Oh, a couple Oh, my God I got two sixes I got a five and a six Oh, my God Wait, is there like a There's a critical success If you get a certain number of sixes I don't think it necessarily counts Let me Can we just do it?

I think this guy's in our game now Let me check Let me check That was insane You called it I called it Boom Amazing We're fist bumping four ways Oh, my God Fat roll You guys want to watch me do a bunch of push-ups While Sean looks at us? Do we have to watch? Do we have to watch? You can do push-ups Okay Do we have to watch? I mean, if that's part of it Well, I'm fine Yeah To not watch How many do you think I can get to?

Like 10, probably at least I think I can get to 50 Dude But Sean's looking You are wasting time Okay, go If you want to do a thing You can do 50 push-ups in a row? Yeah Jesus Christ, man Here we go Sean, just keep Get the rules down Oh, no, no, no I got it I got it, yeah Oh, he's got it He didn't even get one down That's an all-in-one All-time worst, Abdul Jesus Christ, zero? I'll do them next time he looks up a rule Yeah This guy's an NPC now Yeah Basically, you know what I mean?

Like, this is gonna be a guy that you guys know What's the name?

Kingsley Oh, yeah Kingsley's pretty good If he has, like, an overly ornate name But he's an idiot Yeah Kingsley Remington Tark Soul of the Fourth Yeah, there we go But he just goes by King So you give him this The love of my life Has abandoned me Or betrayed me Or whatever speech He's like Oh, man That sucks Yeah And the only thing that'll make her feel better Is if she's with her friends Dancing to My Alchemical Romance We are all Going to the Black Parade together tonight You can come, too, if you want That's What do you mean, Black Parade?

That's not a song by Alchemical My Alchemical Romance Sorry, Black Flame Parade Ugh Ugh I feel like they have a different song With a different name That we can come up with now The Dirty Party We're all going to We're all going to We're all going to the Dirty Party together You can come with us, too, King No Wait, what if they What if they start playing Tears of Ink? Will you not weep with us?

Yeah Yeah You're right You're right, kids Uh, yeah And I He doesn't introduce himself by his full name But he does have a name He does have a name tag that he put on himself That says, hi, my name is King Okay, how about this? Uh You can sit here And I will take your ticket How about Thank you, Mr. Sir King Yeah Oh, no, it's just Just King Thank you, King It still sounds really fancy It's less fancy than the rest of my name What is your full name?

Ugh He rolls his eyes And he's like, I can't I can't By an ancient oath sworn by my family generations ago I cannot, uh, not say my full name if somebody asks Stands up and puts his hand on his heart My name And he stands up to his full height, which is like 6'8 Yeah, what does this guy look like? He's just a really big dude Burly?

Maybe he's Macaulay Oh, he's got, like, long, uh, very shiny black hair Very buff Oh, yeah Uh, I imagined immediately kind of like a motorcycle dad Oh Yeah Really good hands Yeah Slight and, like, dexterous hands Yep He's got hands that have a dexterity that belay his enormous size Yeah And rings Yep, so many rings Is he a thick bod kind of guy?

Yeah, I'm imagining he's really, he's really strong, but he's, like, got no definition to the shape of his torso He's a cylindrical V with really thick legs Yeah He's wearing Thick thighs, small calves Which you can see because his jeans are so tight Yeah And he's wearing motorcycle boots and a leather jacket Oh, and he's got, like, a leather holster, like, on his belt with, like, a knife in it Yeah It is a weirdly ornate knife Yeah He's got little leather baggies of coins jingling off of his, uh, waist Oh, yeah A little red, like, deep red saffron colored handkerchief hanging out of his back pocket Oh, yeah Whoa Who's this fucking dude?

Yeah Uh, he rises and he puts his one hand over his heart Yeah It's one hand on the hilt of the knife that's at his belt Ooh And he says, my name is Kigsley Remington Tarksell IV We all have our hand on our hearts Thank you, children You have made a friend this day Wow And you have made five friends this day He bows deeply Whoa, I bow even deeper We bow, yeah It is an honor to be in the presence of a true king Oh, I'm not a king Oh I'm more Whoa Whoa Whoa And then we chant as he walks away Our gentle giant King King King King King King King King I way all the way to the front row he gives you an excitable double thumbs up like yeah and you can hear his voice over the whole crowd thank you kids you know he'll love it yeah I can see pretty good up here so far away how far away are we oh so far and bleed yeah so far uh and clover you see you see seamus and the hot meat boys walking down the aisle kind of far away from you but seamus is you know catching a glimpse at you every once in a while hey guys there's seamus is he looking at me yes yeah what does he look like does he look sad yeah I mean yeah he actually does oh really yeah he looks kind of pensive like he's thinking really hard harder than he's maybe ever thought before looking at the ground a lot and looking at you he's clenching a tube of diarrhea yogurt and he doesn't have any of it it's just oozing out all over his hand I like that uh fenton calls it diarrhea yogurt not realizing that he is lactose intolerant he thinks that everybody gets diarrhea when they eat yogurt he loves those yogurts that's so weird he usually eats them really fast I mean like just when I do see him not that I like used to like look from far away or anything uh anyway we put him on the stand yeah and I'm like clover you don't have to lie to us if you're having a bad night you could just say you're having a bad night okay I was just just trying to be strong you know you are strong yeah I just tried really hard to look nice and she's starting to blame her outfit now and like maybe if I'd worn something like mindy he would have been so ashamed uh and as you say I should have worn something like mindy you get bought by me I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like in the side of the head by her parasol as she's trying to close it.

I'm so sorry. Somebody behind her is like, down in front. Close your fucking umbrella. Who the fuck brings an umbrella to a goddamn concert? We're in a mall, you idiot. Somebody's yelling at your date, Franklin. Hey, why don't you shut up? Why don't you shut up? Close your stupid parasol. You get down here and close the parasol. Why don't you get up here and tell me if you've closed the parasol yet? Hold my diarrhea to yogurt. And he starts climbing over the thing. Oh my God. All right.

He's fired up. Who's yelling? It's one of the wild nogs. Oh, and they all have the shirts off and each one has a different letter. My Al Calamico. There's a shit ton of them. He gets up. He didn't know it. It's like, you see, he's got it. Yeah, one of them's got like a C on his chest. And you're like, why? And then you see the rest of the letters and you're like, oh, fuck. It's a reveal where they all. From the central C take off their shirts.

It's just from the letter C fills in my Al Calamico romance. I guess we would see this happen as Franklin's halfway up climbing up the road. So we're like, fuck. And the guy in front is he's flexing his tiny little like 13 year old bicep. And he's got a drawing that he drew with markers of a pig drinking eggnog. And he's like, what do you want? I want you to just relax and take back what you said to my date. Well, this will be risky standard. Three. That's a failure. Hmm.

Wait, is this suspicion clock still going? Oh, yeah. Shit. Yeah. So you've still got you've got three ticks left on suspicion. I mean, like, this could just be that Franklin is making trouble. So security is becoming more aware. Yeah. Yeah. OK, so I'm going to take two. Two. Unless you resist it. You can always resist it and make it one tick instead. It's going to cost two stress. You've only got one stress, too. Yeah, I could take some stress for this. OK. OK. So lonely.

You can only fill in one tick. You're two ticks away from security catching wise that you guys are up to something. So they just get in each other's face and they're doing it quietly and darting their eyes to security. And some of the other wild dogs are like, shut the fuck up. Shut up. You can back to your seat. And security's like, hey, hurry. You see. So close to kicking your ass right now.

And as you guys hear, hey, and you look over and you see a crisp button down security shirt with a badge that looks homemade. And you see the embroidery, the poor embroidery of a. Hawk. Oh, no. Oh, no. And you just see the back of the shirt and you see two thumbs pointing down at the. And I slink down below the people that are in front of the. Ew. The wild dogs. This is basically a movie theater. Just so sticky. There's nobody that cleans up.

Actually, yeah, there's not enough staff in the mall to keep this place clean. It's basically just ancient cruft. Like this stuff has been here for hundreds of years. You actually find a coin that looks ancient. You pick it up. It crumbles to dust in your hands. Damn it. I'm going to erase that. As you're watching, you blow and a tile reveals ancient writings that reveal a prophecy. It crumbles to dust. Oh, so close to a prophecy. I'm just finding more stuff.

You see a hole in the ground and you go over it and there's an echoing chamber and you hear, release me. And then a piece of gum falls in the hole and seals it up. Damn it. Just. It was. It was a tiny little hole that you put your ear to and you could hear the howling winds of a deep, dark cave. A buried kingdom. Oh my God. This is awesome. So cool. Under the amphitheater. We forget that this is a fantasy world and that you're in an ancient wizard built facility. Yeah.

What was the High Spear of All before? The High Spear is a wizard tower that was used for things that we have never examined. There's also a wizard built chocolate factory. That has since broken down. But the mall itself, from what we've all been able to tell, has always been a place of commerce. Because remember, there are those, they don't work anymore, but the floating elevators. Right. That kind of move around.

So over time, as we reached this kind of post-apocalypse, people came to live in the mall because it was safe. Yeah. So Franklin, you slink back down. You see Danny the Hawk to Berna. All he did to get you guys to quiet down was point at the hawk that he's embroidered on the back of his shirt. And you see him. Whip around. And he goes, that's right. You see his mustache, freshly combed. And like little eagle's wings. Oh, yeah. They look like little. Holy shit. This guy.

I respect him in how much I don't respect him. Big nose. Even his comb over is intimidating. Wow. Yeah. So you come back down and you see the wild nogs are like giving you the eyes, but they shut up. I flip him a bird. You get 24 pairs of hands coming up. Flip you the birds. Wide eyed. And Mindy's like, thanks for standing up for me, Franklin. Anything for you, Mindy. I mean, it's not like I care, really. But thank you. You're welcome.

And she does that thing where she kind of like crawls her hand over to you. And she tries to hold your hand. And my hand knee jerk goes away from her hand. Oh. Just because it's so scared. No, she puts her hand back in her lap. No. And then I put my hand down again. And then like sweaty knuckles kind of like up against her hand. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And her hand is equally sweaty. You can feel it through her opera gloves. And she takes your hand.

But then she's like, then she takes it away a little bit. Not like angrily, but like, hmm. That seems like maybe he cared a little too much. Like he's not a goth. And then he like is lost in, oh, my God. I've lost my mind. I've lost it. And then maybe she sees that. Yeah. And then she's like, okay, well, now he looks really sad. So maybe he is a goth. And Penny, Penny is sitting next to you, Fenton. And she's just like, wow. Penny.

Actually, I turned to Clover and I'm like, hey, do you think there's. Penny, can you look away from me for a little while? Okay. And she just looks over to the other side. And I lean into Clover who's sitting next to me. I assume. And I'm like, Clover, do you think there's something weird and wrong with Penny? She says like, hey, and yeah, and almost nothing else. Yeah, she's weird. But sometimes you kind of do that, too. So I thought maybe that's what your relationship was built on.

No, I thought she was. I just thought she was like pretty and introspective, but she hasn't said anything. Well, do you ask her questions? No, I haven't. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked. I haven't asked.

Such a classic shitty boy. Yeah. She's not talking at all. Well, you keep talking. I keep telling her things and she just goes, yeah, that's interesting. I mean, here, I'll try. Hey, Penny. Hi. How are you? I'm good. I'm having a fun time. Yeah? Yeah. What's your favorite song of theirs? Oh, I've never actually listened to this band before. Cool. Yeah. What kind of music do you listen to? Oh. My parents take me to the opera and my parents take me to classical concerts and I like those.

Those are cool. My friend Greg likes those a lot. Oh, cool. Who's Greg? He's just like an old friend. Sometimes we do like potion experiments together. You make potions? Kind of. I look at Fenton and Fenton sometimes helps me make potions. Yeah, I'm a classic chef. Whoa. You're a classic potion? Chef or regular chef? Potions. I make potions with Clover. I'm her assistant. We make different kinds of potions. What kind of potions? The sleepy kind.

Sometimes we make potions that make you forget stuff. My mom has a kind of potion like that. She comes home and she drinks a lot of it and then she falls asleep and then sometimes she doesn't remember what happened the night before. Okay. Wait, is your mom in the wine moms? I don't know. She has a club she goes to. Does she ever talk about the vineyard? I think that's where her wine comes from. What's your dad's name? Um. I just call him dad. Dad. Does he have a restaurant in the man cave? Yeah.

Okay. Can you look away for a second again? Okay. Guys, I think I'm dating. I think my date's parents are in the vineyard in the barbecue den. Yeah, I think so. You're marrying into the mafia. You haven't asked her what her last name is. Oh, fuck. Someone from behind us leans forward and is like, this is a pretty compelling conversation. Can you just ask her what her last name is real quick? I just gotta know. Okay, thanks, dude. Penny. Uh-huh. What's your last name?

Um, my name is Penelope Cabernet Fiero. And Fenton spills all of the fat nugs that he had in his lap. He goes, okay, look away for a second again, please. Okay. I think her I think her dad is the head of the barbecue king. Whose name you would remember is Guy Fierro. He's Guy Fierro. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Is he after us? Did we fuck? Yeah, we fucked over pretty bad with that Charles Eve thing. Right, right. Cool.

Okay, well, I mean, I can't tell you what to do with your boyfriends and girlfriends, but I just, um… Maybe don't go to her house? Maybe we shouldn't go to her house. Maybe, uh, if you do go to her house, you should wear a disguise. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. And the lights start to dim. Okay. The lights start to dim in the auditorium. Don't tell her that we're the Cooltree Kids. Okay. I won't. Don't mention the Sugar Shack. Okay. Don't tell her our names. Too late.

Don't tell her our names. And I turn to Penny. I'm like, all right, I hope they do their song, Welcome to the Sugar Shack Cooltree Kids. Fenton! Fenton! That's not even one of their songs. I mean, I'm sorry, man. Welcome to the Black Plume Parade. And, uh, the opener comes on first. Oh, shit. Who's this? I actually want to ask you guys that. Who's the opening band? They're definitely kind of an emo metal thing. A bunch of elves. A bunch of dark elves. Ooh. Oh, shit. A bunch of really pale elves.

Or they're regular elves, but goths. Oh, goths. They're playing, Dorothy. They're called the dark elves? Yeah. Uh, yeah, cool. What's, yeah, what's the band name? The dark elves? Or do they have, like, a creepy band name? I was thinking, like, Archers Over Kings. Mmm. That's pretty sick, actually. All of their music is like, And the guy went on the field and he had a sword. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's like Through the Fire and the Flames kind of thing? It's like kind of, uh, power metal fantasy shit.

Uh, but it's They're whipping their hair. Yeah, totally. It's historical. Like, that's the kind of shit is they're actually most of their music is about historical events. Yeah. Yeah. And this is the kind of band that Tuck would fucking love. I feel like the, Tuck is talking now. I feel like the backstory of this This is weird. You've never done this before.

But I feel like the backstory of this band would be like they are, they claim to be descended from a line of archer kings from the dark wood. That, like, lost their lands and their holdings through the effects of the Winter War. And so this group, who is like the descendants of them, got together to sing the tales of their ancestors, who, which is why their name is Archers Over King. Because it's like, the skill of our line still exists, even though we don't have.

You can take our title, but you can't take who we are. Yeah. One of their hit songs is I Will Always Love You, but you is spelled Y-U. And it's about the love of the wood that they make their bows from. Yeah. Yeah. Love you. One of their, uh, one of their songs is called 200 Pound Draw. And it's about, uh, it's about a heroic figure who had this massive bow that no one else could pull. But also, these guys, if you knew them, are elves from the Great Forest.

They're just, like, young guys that got obsessed with this history. Totally. Yeah, they're definitely rich, like, music nerd, math rock kids. Yeah. And, uh, Penny wants to go dance. Oh. Yeah, you should probably keep her happy. In case she tells, like, her mom and dad. Yeah, I don't. She's such a blank slate. I have no fucking clue what's in there now. Let's go dance! Not asking any questions to just asking all the questions. A switch. Yeah. Time did your dad leave the house?

What kind of car did your mom drive? What? Let's go dance! Okay, okay, one second, and then I quickly lean into Franklin. I'm like, can you tell me how to dance real quick before I go? Like, in five seconds or whatever? Do you hear the music? Do you hear the beat? Yeah. Hear that? Just move your legs like that. Okay. Do that beat. And then you see Franklin's legs do this. Just kick out in front of him randomly, and the person in front of you turns around and is like, stop kicking my seat.

Sorry, I'm trying to dance. I'm trying to learn to dance. Go down there any point, and there's, like, a mosh pit forming at the front of the theater. Alright, Penny, let's go. Yeah! And she's crawling over everybody in their row to get to the other side of the aisle. This chick is fucking crazy. Oh yeah, she's entitled. And she starts booking down to the mosh pit. Okay. And Franklin Mindy is just sitting there.

I mean, I don't want to dance, but do you want to go, like, make fun of the dancers on the edge of the dance floor? Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't want to dance either. But I don't… Yeah. Okay, sure. Let's go make fun of the dancers. Okay. And she gets, like, two or three people in front of him at one point, and he cuts a fucking rug for a second. Just to let off some dance steam. Nice. She gets up and she's walking past you, Clover. And she's like, can you hold my parasol? Oh, sure.

And she leans in and she's like, hey, Clover, really quick. Do you think Franklin… Do you think Franklin likes me? Yeah. Oh. Okay. Isn't that good? Yeah. Yeah. No, it is good. Yeah. I mean, I don't… Whatever. I don't care. Do you like Franklin? Well, you know, I don't really… I don't care. I don't care. Okay. You can roll some… Sort of insight or something like that to try and get information based on how Mindy is acting right now. What do you got that you think would work? I don't know.

I have puberty. You don't have that yet. What? I just looked at my sheet and it said hippie slash puberty. That was an idea for… Remember, that was an idea for one of the dramas. Oh, right. Yeah, so I have a tune. I guess I could try that. So just, like, roll one. Yeah, just roll one. So I'm being like, okay, like, lady to lady. Let's just, like, have girl talk or whatever. Five. Oh, okay. Alright. Five. So that is a success with some sort of cost. Yeah, I like… I'm not…

I mean, I'm not really… If I'm lady to lady, I'm not really sure that I'm into all this, like, goth stuff that much. Oh, I mean… But if he likes it, I like him, and I want him to like me. I mean, why don't you just tell him that you're not really that goth? Because, honestly, Franklin's not that goth either. He's not? No. He's just dressed up like that to impress you. Oh. You think he likes wearing all that stuff? Look at him. He's, like, scratching his head.

There's bees of so many wasps all over my head, and I'm just, like, trying to, like, take it. Like, just quivering. Oh, my God. Try not to move. Oh, okay. I guess… Alright. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. Do you want to come dance? Are you going to stay here? I think I'll stay here. Okay. Okay. Bye, Clover. Bye. And then she gets up, and she puts on that goth face where she's like, ugh, whatever, and, like, strides down the aisle. The cost. Okay.

So, Clover, you look over, and you're just like, man, I guess I'll just sit here. And you see Seamus again moving down the aisle to the mosh pit with some of the hot meat boys, and you see as they're moving down, more boys are coming out of the aisles and joining them. There are a lot more hot meat boys here. Oh, shit. Oh, man. Shit. I'm gonna… Ugh! I'm gonna have to talk to Seamus.

I don't want to, like, look like I'm chasing after him, but I guess that's what I look like, so I use Mindy's parasol to, like, kind of guide my way through the crowd, like, excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry. Popping it open. Yeah, just popping it open. Sorry, it's really hard to close. Using the hook once in a while. Yeah. Yeah, what, you hit a guy, his monocle falls into his champagne glass, and he goes, I never… I'm so sorry, sir. I fish it out for him. He just puts it back on his eye.

It's dripping. My thanks, lady. You're welcome, sir. Champagne is so cloudy now. Yeah, and you see Seamus going down the aisle. Seamus! It's really loud in here right now. Seamus! Oh, God. I start, like, waving the parasol at him. And he does turn around, and he's, like, he looks confused, and he turns away. Ugh, God. I've prowessed. Is that a thing? Uh, yeah, prowess would be, like, moving your way through the crowd. Yeah, I'll do that. So I use my yoga abilities.

Like, all this, like, bendiness. Oh, God, I failed three. Okay. Okay, remember, you can push yourself, so you can spend two stress and get another die. Oh, okay. Oh, God, sorry. Five. Five, there we go. Okay. So, um, you get up to, yeah, you use your yoga skills. Yeah, I did, like, a downward dog, and then, like, a little, like, kind of, like, flippy thing. And I, like, and then I realized, I was, like, that took the same amount of time. People just moved because it was so chaotic. Yeah.

Uh, but you do get through, and Seamus, you get right behind Seamus. Seamus, it's me, Clover. And he whips around, and he sees you, and he grabs you by the shoulders, and he, like, steers you into the crowd that you just got through, and he's, like, Clover, what are you doing? What are you doing? You and your, there's so many of you guys here, and you're all acting all suspicious. I can't talk about it right now. Well, I, I need to know. Are you on a job?

He looks around very furtively, like, yes, we're, we're pulling a job right now. What are you doing? You gotta tell me. Uh, we're, uh, we're gonna ruin the concert. Why? If, if we get what we want, my alchemical romance will never take the stage. What? But I need them to take the stage. Why? Are you pulling a job? Yes. Oh, Clover, Clover, no. What? What? You think you're the only guys in town who have to work? I have to work, too. I wish that you told me this before. Why would I tell you that?

We're in different gangs. It's a classic, like, working couple dispute. He's just like, uh, no, you gotta, you gotta get out of here. Come on. It's not safe. After Arches Over Kings finishes their opening set, Maya, Maya, Chemical Romance is gonna, the roadies are gonna roll out the alchemical pyrotechnics, and it's gonna be gross. Gross? Yeah, it's gonna be gross. It's not gonna be dangerous. We don't wanna hurt anybody. But you're not gonna wanna be in the splatters of it. Yeah, exactly.

You're not gonna wanna get splashed. Let me tell you that. Okay. I, I don't know what to do next. They're trying to ruin the concert. Oh. So if they ruin the concert, and they shut everything down, and everybody has to leave, that will fuck up your guys' opportunities to make Kneels on Wheels look bad. Oh, shit. So you wouldn't be able to complete your job. It's like, Clover, you, I, you can't, you can't be here. You have to get out of here.

What if I lie to Seamus, and I say, sure, I'll get us all out, but I tip you guys off. And I'm like, okay, your job is to keep the show going. And then I could try to let loose these pigs. Yeah. Oh, right. The pigs are the plan. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. That's exactly, yeah. That makes perfect sense. Okay. Yeah, I'll get out of here. No problem. You know, I'll let you take this one. Okay. I really appreciate that. For sure. Clover, I'm glad that you won't be here for this.

I'm glad that you're safe. Yeah. I'll see you later. I wander over to you guys. You have to pull us away from our spastic dance moves. Yeah. And my nothing. Penny is going nuts in the mosh pit. She's kicking her legs around, swinging her arm, uh, blindly. She's taking out a lot of kids. She's quite stout. She's having a great time. Like Benton is kind of just watching it. And he's like, whoa, what a woman. What an egg of a woman. What an egg of a woman.

And Clover just pulls you guys like what into the lobby. I was going to actually go to Mindy first. Oh, yeah. Hey, Mindy. Yeah. Um, here's your parasol. Oh, thank you. Would you mind dancing with Penny for a bit? I just have to talk to Benton and Franklin really fast. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. We won't be long. Okay. Okay. And Mindy goes up to Penny and starts doing the same thing that she's doing. Kicking her legs and swinging her arms. And look, she's like smiling.

She's having a great time with Penny. Right. Yeah. She's very graceful about it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because she's like a swimmer dancer. Yeah. She's she's very graceful. So I talked to Seamus. He said that they're doing a job too tonight. They are gonna shut down the show. They're gonna make sure that my alchemical romance doesn't get on stage. Shit. Fuck. Yeah. Why? I don't know. He didn't say. What else did he say? He said that they're going to set off a bunch of pyrotechnics. Yeah.

They're gonna fuck with the my alchemical romance like alchemy set up. Like the fire? Like the kind of like They have a bunch of effects that they use when they're performing. Yeah. That's all like alchemical solutions. I need you two to keep the show going. Okay. Yeah. We can do that. And sorry. Can you remind me? What the plan was? Because I was gone most of the time getting this and he holds up the business card for Neil. What's his last name? Uh, on wheels. Yeah. Yeah. It's Neil's on wheels.

Yeah. I got this Neil's on wheels and his office is somewhere in the mall. I assume it takes a lot of effort for me to read. So here Oh, great. Doris is gonna love that. Yeah. Yeah. What was your guys's plan? I was separated from you a lot of the last one. Oh, we snuck in behind and found out that all the carts are pulled by woolly pigs. Oh, shit. Yeah. So we're gonna just like get the woolly pigs to start walking out and then all the food's gonna follow and then Neil's gonna look stupid.

Oh, fuck. Yeah. Wait, how are we gonna get the woolly pigs to move with this? I pull out the glowing mushroom. Franklin puts his hand in his pants and this and pulls out a big wad of weeds that he had. That'll probably work better. And then Fenton steeples his… There's weeds and mushrooms that we have. These pigs are just like college growth. Fenton steeples his fingers and then he's like, cool, cool. Explain more, please. Alright.

So the pigs love to eat the weeds and I saw this cool mushroom on the pig and I don't know if it'll work, but I know that they like the weeds. So if I just dangle the weeds in front of the faces of the pigs, then they're gonna follow. Right? And then all the trucks are attached to the pigs, so it pulls all the trucks away, all the food trucks. And then the food is ruined. Okay, cool. They're all connected by chains. You pull one pig, you pull them all.

Well, yeah, if you get a sufficient enough kind of chaotic situation in the back, all those pigs are gonna want to leave. Okay, so let's in plain language, explain what people are doing. Clover's gonna try and get the pigs to leave. To start marching. Franklin's gonna go backstage and try and stop the hot meat boys? He's gonna go inspect the pyrotechnics. Okay, perfect. And what is Fenton doing? Fenton is gonna try to stall my alchemical romance to give these guys more time to operate.

Okay, sounds good. By being a big time scout. Okay, perfect. Just for my own organization, I've made a couple clocks. Save the show and show ruined. Once you fill up the save the show clock, then my alchemical romance will continue to take the stage and Clover's plan will be able to take effect. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Clover's quiet meditation room. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah..

Aroma aroma flavors flavors style style plates plates tired of the same old breakfast breakfast come on down come to designer breakfast for designer women see you there in the esterland food court remember pokemon as a kid then opened the internet and saw grown adults yelling over cardboard same welcome to special conditions the pokemon trading card game show I'm justin with adam and we're here to make the pokemon tcg actually make sense what's real what's hype and what's just shiny cardboard doing cardio on the internet on your wallet we'll break down the game and give you the simple next steps to start playing or collecting visit specialconditionstcg.com for details with the shopper who owns a white audi suit of armor please return to parking deck three your alarm is sounding well that was the wrong bottle so I apologize for that uh I'll try that again next time see you later so what where who's going where first clover takes the weeds from franklin and I hurry back out of the the auditorium back into like the lobby area where all the food trucks are yeah perfect so you go back through the employees only area.

You hear voices in there. It's like a bunch of food people talking but there's no security. Danny the Hawk Taberna is elsewhere. Okay. There's a little wooden cart full of used dishes and I grab that and I roll down my janitor's like cuffs so I look professional. What a fucking payoff! Oh wow. That's amazing. And I start wheeling it and like I'm like just be confident act like you belong here do taking the dirty dishes no one's looking. Yeah.

And you go into the back room with your dirty dish thing and there are a bunch of like food service people back here and they all turn and look at you. So this would probably be what a sway or something like that? Yeah I think so. Okay. I don't have sway. But I am gonna give you one die so you will just roll a straight die because of your incredible prescient planning with your janitor's outfit. Thank you. Four. Four. Okay. Okay.

Um so yeah that was a that was a risky move so you get two towards save the show. Yep. And the cost is that you're getting two ticks in the kicked out clock as Danny Taberna looks around and realizes that we cut to Danny for a second and he's watching the show. He's scanning the crowd with the eyes of some kind of bird and he has a cup of coffee that he's like and he finishes it and he reaches over and drops it like to go drop it into the dirty dish cart and it smashes on the ground.

Wait what the hell? And he looks in the crowd and he sees that the Cool Treat kids he realizes they're not there and he heads out into the the theater to try and find them. But yeah you push right in and the all the food service people are like oh hi. Top of the morning to you. Oh that's not what you say. Are you are you are you new here? I am yeah it's my first day. Yeah you look pretty you look pretty young to be working here. I just look pretty young for a 17. Okay.

And they all turn back to each other smoking whatever it is they're smoking in this circle. All right bye. Just gonna take the dishes away over there. Okay. Okay. Here I go. Here I go. Here I go. You know how normal people talk at work. Yeah. And we cut to Franklin. What's Franklin doing? He's gonna weave his way to the stage but on his way there he's gonna go talk to King and put him on notice that maybe we might need his help. Oh. Okay. Yeah. You're not even gonna have to roll this. Great.

He's standing at the edge of the mosh pit with his huge arms crossed in front of him. He's not moshing he's just enjoying the moshing and he's got his eyes closed as he absorbs the music and the histories within. Hey man. And he looks down and he says what can I do for you my little friend? King right? Yes. Hand on chest. Shit sorry. Hand on chest Hannah my name is Kingsley Remington Tarxel the fourth. Amazing name. Amazing man. Thank you. We might need a hand. There's some goings doing down.

Whoa. There's some doings going down. And you require my aid. Possibly. He pounds his fist on his chest it will be done. Whatever we need? Whatever you need. Up to murder. I will not do that. Not up to and including murder? No not including well we'll see. Decent. But I will keep my eyes open for whatever is going on. Okay. Look for my signal. And his signal is the dance move from Thriller where they slide one foot over and then clap above their head and then slide moving his head.

It's a really elaborate clap dance move. Yeah. He loves it. He says I will watch for this signal. Wait what are you doing? What is he doing on the signal? I will respond to the situation appropriately. Okay thank you. Okay. Thank you. Good luck. Okay good. Sling sling sling. Yeah. Upstate. And we'll cut to Fenton. What's Fenton doing? Fenton is sneaking backstage right now. He's trying to get back there. Like sneaking sneaking?

He's grabbed like a kind of a jug of like pumpernickel juice and he's just trying to like sneak backstage pretending he's like a best boy or whatever. Do we have to roll for this? Uh yeah. So what? Sway probably? Yeah. Yeah. Here we go. Nothing to see here. Just a regular little boy with a big old jug of pumpernickel juice. Six. That's a six. Okay. Um yeah. So you are backstage. No problem. Security nods you through. They're gonna stop you for a second.

They see the pumpernickel juice and they go right through. Thank you. Waddle waddle waddle. Waddle waddle. And you see the band My Alchemical Romance mingling backstage talking before they're set. Who's so it's them. Who else is here? What is the kind of situation? Okay. So you're like in a backstage zone. Fenton did not have a plan. He's just like gotta get back there. Yeah. You see the kind of backstage area. There's a curtain separating this area from the stage.

You hear the music blasting in. My Alchemical Romance is talking with a very slick looking man with a clipboard and they're standing in front of the backstage catering zone like platters of food and drink. Oh cool. Who's that guy? Who's what guy? The slick looking dude. Are you asking the guy? I pull on the pant leg of one of the caterers and I'm like hey you who's that guy? That slick looking guy. Oh that's that's My Alchemical Romance's manager Dingsley Forsythe. Okay. Dingsley Forsythe. Yeah.

Okay. Cool. Hey do you have a piece of paper by any chance? Yeah. Okay. Here. Thanks. I want to draw a drawing of a dragon or whatever. Then I want to write a note to Dingsley Forsythe that is from the like mall management that says that there's problems with the funds to pay the band. Okay. And that they should take the stage but there might be a delay in payment. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So you write out that note and you're delivering it to the manager? Yeah.

I run up to the guy and I'm like sir are you Dingsley Forsythe? Yeah I'm Dingsley Forsythe. You're the manager for My Alchemical Romance? You bet I am. Best emo new wave kind of sad band. That's me. And he extends his hand. And I shake his hand. It's good to meet you sir. This is from mall management. Alright. Alright. I want you to roll a fortune die to see how convincing your little letter is. Okay. Four. Four. Like oh. A couple of backwards R's here but everything seems on the up and up.

Delayed payment. I don't like the sound of that. No signature though. Um. Yeah it's um it's from a member of the food court that wishes to remain anonymous. He folds the note and puts it into his suit jacket and he goes alright. I gotta talk to somebody maybe we can push the intermission. Okay yeah that sounds great. Until we can get this you know sorted out. Thank you. Yeah I mean those archer dudes are doing pretty good so you can probably just have them play for longer or whatever.

Yeah let me deal with the business details how about. Okay yeah you know what you know what you're doing I'm just a lowly ball boy or juice boy. Okay bye. Bye. He walks away and he starts talking to a group of shadowy figures in the back of the stage area. Oh no. Yeah. Yeah so I'll take your save the show thing a couple more. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. As you have convinced them to delay my alchemical romance taking the stage and we will cut back to Clover.

Clover is behind the food service area with all the woolly pigs. Yeah so I don't think anyone's around me now so I abandon the cart and I sneak up to one of the front pigs. Yep. And I start saying come follow me little guys. Look at this. Yum yum yum. Yum yum yum. Yum yum yum. Yum yum yum. Yum yum yum. Yum yum yum. Yum yum yum. Yum yum yum. Yum yum yum. Yum yum yum. Yum yum yum. Yum yum yum. Okay.

Yeah so this is going to be just in case somebody catches you this is going to be risky and drawing away a pig with some grass isn't going to be like the final twist of the key so it's going to be limited effect. Okay. But yeah what are you going to roll for this? You've used a tune in the past to talk to animals. Yeah. True. Okay. So I'm like waving the weeds in front of this pig. Is it reacting at all? Oh, yeah, it's like… Five. Five, okay. Yeah.

I'm going to tick the show ruined clock as the cost, and I'm going to give you one tick and save the show. So they're four steps away from ruining the show, and you guys are three steps away from saving it. Sweet. But this one pig is like… And starts like plodding forward, trying to like… Oh, you're almost there. Back me up. Come on. And you hear a…

As the truck that it is attached to starts sliding away, but the food service people are too far away right now to notice that it's being dragged away. What about this yummy mushroom? You're going to feed it the mushroom? Sure. Yeah, do it. That was the plan. Do it. And it just like reaches its little lips forward. Come on. And then… Bites the mushroom and chews on it and swallows it, and nothing happens yet. Okay. And we'll cut back to Franklin.

Uh, yeah, I guess he's trying to get to this pyrotechnic thing. Oh, the thing like at the front of the stage. Yeah, he's trying to inspect it and see if he can see what the hot meat boys have done to it. Yeah, totally. So you are able to… You've got a dancer's grace. You don't have to roll to get through this mosh pit. You dip and dive and weave with the best of them. Oh, I like this… The visual of a mosh pit of everyone just like… And like slam dancing each other. And he's just like…

Like balleting through the mosh pit. Like a salmon through upstream. Yeah. And you get to the front and you see all these bottles and tubes set into like this little thing at the front of the stage. You get up on your tiptoes because you're tall, but you're not quite that tall. And yeah, you see all these concoctions underneath the stage. Can I… What do I… You would use… I don't know, probably study potentially or survey. Okay, I don't have any insight, so…

It would be 2D6 and then take the lower. Okay. But you also see further down the mosh pit, you see hot meat boys moshing their way towards… The alchemy set up at the front. Oh my God, they're doing their thing. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you get the idea that whatever they're trying to set up hasn't been finished yet. They need to put the finishing touches on whatever their sabotage is. Well, I think that he would go for the boys. How many is there? Uh, give me a fortune roll. Okay.

Like he's trying to figure out what's going on the stage technically. And he's like, I don't know, this isn't my thing. And then he sees a bunch of people, he's like, I need to kick their ass. This I can do. One. Oh, there's only two of them. Oh, there's only two of them. Two of them. Oh. Yes! Oh, sweet. I thought one was like, there's 50. Okay. No, unfortunately it looks like they only have a few hot meat boys that have any sort of technical know-how.

So they've sent those ones to the front and the others are deeper in the mosh pit or haven't made their way up this way yet. So it's Cacophonous and he's looking and he's sweating and he doesn't know and he's like pulling out his like sticky hair and then he looks over and he just sees that there's only two of them and he crunches his knuckles. Everything slows down and he gets like a little smirk on his face.

And he pulls out a toffee knuckle and puts one on each fist and slowly walks towards them. So what are you rolling? Command. Command would be commanding them, not fighting them. Yeah, and then tell them to turn around and drop whatever it is they're about to do. Okay, so this will be risky, but it'll be limited effect because they're on the job and they're not just gonna leave. But you get plus one. Mm-hmm. So it'll be standard effect. Okay, so I get two die? Yeah. Three. Shit. That's a failure.

Um. Stress. Okay, yeah. Yeah. So, um, you get up there and you just start what bossing them around? Turn around. I don't care what you're doing here. It ends now. And one of them is still got his arms like in the alchemy setup fucking with it. And the other one turns to you is like, how about you get the hell out of here? Huh? This is our, this is our turf and they push you. This is our job and he pushes you again. Whoa. Push me. Yeah, what are you gonna do about it? Cool treat kids.

There's only three of you. Three you and that freak Borba. Weird old 20 year old dude. Just like kicking it in a chocolate factory. Get out of here. You're not a real gang cut to Borba for a second and he's just spinning slowly in his wheelchair looking up at the vents and he's like, you know, I just don't really know what I want to do with my life.

It's just like I've reached this age where I'm not a kid, but I don't feel like I'm an adult quite yet, you know, and the you see the hobnoblins nose poking out through the grate in the vent. It's like. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Like a counselor now. And we cut back to Fenton. What's Fenton doing backstage? He has snuck beneath the stage to look at the the alchemy set up. Okay. So what are you rolling? Picking up a lot of dice. Yeah, this isn't a great move for my skill set.

Absolutely not. We've all been there. You know what? I don't do that. Okay. What do you do? He also is similar to Franklin. It's like he looks at the alchemy set up for. One second. He's like not smart enough to figure that out. That's a clover problem. So that he rushes out from backstage and goes to our Clover is to see if he could help her. Okay. Yeah, there's an open door to the food truck area with all the woolly pigs.

Yeah, and you hear some voices who the food service people that are back there Clover's gotten past them, but they're still there. Shit. So he still has his jar of pumpernickel juice. He's like, hello there gentlemen. I get to see all of you. I just have to take this pumpernickel juice to the bully pigs because some of them need it. Okay, so you're rolling sway. Yeah. Okay. Six. Six. All right, Jesus Christ. They're like, yeah, okay, whatever kid. These guys don't give a shit about anything.

And you got mesmerized. So they immediately forget that you were there. Totally. Yeah, they're just like, all right. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah, birds. And you find Clover and she's trying to coax a bunch of woolly pigs to move away from the wall. Clover. Hey, I got I stole the band. What do you do you need help? Yeah. Do you want to grab some more of that? Hey, and then back up with me.

We're trying to get these guys walking and you see the woolly pig that you fed the mushroom to is just standing there. Now his eyes wide pupils dilated. Hey, come on wave the grass in front of his face. Hello, sir. Sir. Do you want some of this Chris? Excuse me, Mr. Woolly pig? Yes. Is he talking? Who am I? Sir, he lifts up one of its paws and looks at the paw and he's like, I think. Therefore, I am Fenton screams. You young girl. Yes, you have given me the gift of thought. I'm so sorry.

What a hell you have cursed this. What tell me what is life? Jesus is a lot. To explain right now. But if you come with me, I can show you more of the world. There is much ice wish to learn. Then let us walk this way. Wait, what? What is my name? Oh, no. I did not sign up for this. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I Wow. It's just looking up. Well, kind of try to like pull his head and tilt it so he's looking forward.

We should walk this way, like forward. Wait, should we do this with the rest of the willy pigs? I don't know. I mean, he's attached to all of them. It's not that they're attached like practically, but they're all basically like hitched to each other basically. So they don't get too far. So he's definitely hitched to a post right now and he's kind of straining against. Oh, whoops. Let me get that for you, Redly. It is a chain that is locked to him. Oh, God. What a hard day. Oh, yeah.

Wait, do you want my cane sword to try and bash through the chain? Yeah, Fenton, can you get through that chain? No. What? Fuck, I'm tiny. Can you do it? Clover does have rack, I believe, and resolve. So she's actually great at smashing shit. Okay, yeah. Sorry, I forgot who I was for a second. So I. I have two. Yeah, you have two and you take the highest. Oh, God. Three. Yeah, you don't break the chain. And I'm going to take the show ruined thing some more as their place.

Continue unless you resist with stress. I will resist with stress. Oh, how much stress do you have? I have four. Left? Okay. Left. It's going to take two to resist this. I will resist. And that means that you resist. Yeah, you resist that consequence. The chain is unfortunately remains unbroken. But. The hot meat boys have not made any progress because Franklin is still arguing with them at the front of the stage. Fucking shit. We cut to Franklin. Yeah. What are you going to do about it? Huh?

What are you going to do about it? I don't have my gang with me, but I've got all the gang I need right here. And he lifts up one toffee knuckle fist and right here. And then he backs up a few steps. And then he does this weird bob back and forth with his head. Oh, man. And he claps his hands above his head. And then. But nothing happens. So he just keeps doing it and doing it. Yeah. And parting as if. They're like, what the fuck? And parting as if a sheet of ice before the prow of a ship.

The crowd moves aside as Kingsley Remington Tarksell the fourth arrives next to you. Hell yeah. What do you need? I need this guy. The guy who's tinkering on stage off the stage. And he looks down at the two teenage boys. And he's like, oh, my God. And he's like, get the fuck out of here. And they go, okay. They both book it. And then he runs in front. Yeah, you better run. Yeah. So you have stalled for now. You don't even have to roll for that because this was a thing that you already set up.

You guys have been paying this off. But the hot meat boys have left this alone for the moment. Okay. My debt is paid to you, right? No. What? No, no, no. Come on. As the ancient codes of honor dictate. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. My favorite to you. My favorite to you. You got a front row ticket, man. You just yelled at some kids. Yeah. And I did the thing you wanted me to do. And I got the front row ticket because your little friend was sad.

And I felt like helping. Okay. But. We're still pals. We're still pals. And I'm going to do something really cool for you later. I don't know your name, kid. What's your name? I'm Franklin Stein. Franklin. What's your name again? He stands up to his full height. Fist on his heart. Hand on the knife. My name is Kingsley Remington. In Tark's little fort. You're damn right it is. Alright, I'm gonna go. Okay. Thank you. And he wades back through the crowd.

I'm gonna run behind stage to join them by the pig. Oh, so back out through the lobby? Yeah. Okay. Franklin, you walk through an open door that has not been closed yet and hear some voices. What I like about birds is that they have wings. And someone's like, that is pretty cool. And he just walks by. Yeah, wings are sick. Aren't they? Walk, walk, walk. Beaks. And then you see Clover and Fenton standing next to a pig who seems to be having some sort of existential crisis.

Holy shit, what the hell's going on here? Hello? I am Rudley. He's speaking to me. Um, I fed him that mushroom. Yeah, apparently the mushrooms bestow the gift of human thought and speech on pigs. I wonder what they do to humans. Pig speech and thought? Does pain exist or is it simply the body racking against reality? Anyway, uh, so, Franklin. Yes? I can't get that chain off of that post and I need it to move the pig so we can mess with the carts. Oh, man.

What if we just got all of them to pull at the same time? We just need more power. I don't know. Do we have any, like, big knives? Oh, I've got a cane sword. We already tried smashing it. We could all try to get it together. Is that the group action? Yeah, sure. We're all here? Yeah. You could do a teamwork action where everybody's using a wreck to try and smash it. Oh, yeah. Okay, we'll put it in and try and do, like, a fulcrums. Like, put it within one of the Oh, yeah.

Jam it into the chain and then hang off of it? Maybe we get the… We ask him to help. Rudley. Yeah. Yeah. We need some of your great, beautiful weight. I wish to be free. We will show you how I put the chain in his mouth and I say, when I tell you when, you have to pull. Ah, yes. I will break my chains. So, who's leading this? Who's gonna take the stress if somebody fails? I'll take the stress. Okay. So, everybody that fails, you're gonna take one stress. Yeah. So, everybody's rolling a wreck?

And pull! Pull! Hey! Holy shit, a five and a six. I got one. I got five. Five. Yeah, you got a five. Who failed? Oh, so you take one stress from Franklin failing. Okay. So, you put the chain in Rudley's mouth and you all jam your various implements into the different links and you go like, one, two, three and he chomps down on the chain and pulls and the whole thing just goes clang and he comes free and he rises. He like, uh, what's the word? Like, he kicks his front legs up. Like a horse?

Like a horse. Wow. And he's like, I am free! But they've got the feet of a hippopotamus, so the bicycle kick is so little, so small. But he comes down with like a crash and he looks, he's like, I am free! He's like, I am free! And he says, at Clover, he says, thank you, child. Oh, you're welcome. You have given me much. And now, I am the master of my own fate. I wish to see more of this world. World's right out there, pal. Go get it.

There's like one of those like rolling metal doors, you know, like in a lobby, and he's like, through there is freedom. Yes. Go be the captain of your soul.

And he like lowers down on his two feet, and he does the like, bull thing where he kicks one foot to get a good stance and he just starts galloping towards this door all the other pigs like raise their heads and watch him go and he smashes right through this metal door cool shit and the shape of a pig in the door the shape of the front of a pig yeah for sure and the cart uh tries to get through the hole and smashes as he like slams into the door and it comes loose and now there's a rampaging sentient woolly pig in the mall wow and maybe you guys will have to deal with that later and uh the pigs have started getting pretty antsy and they're starting to pull against their chains and the chain that rudley broke like slides through a link and you realize oh shit they are all hitched together and the chain starts coming off as they all start pulling their carts towards the hole yes go yeah can we do anything to amp them up when they're all hitched together wait do we have any like cocaine candy or anything uh you do not you have pop rocks to do behind them to scare them oh yeah stampede stampede all right handfuls of pop rocks what action do you think would apply uh it would have to be I mean finesse to throw it in the right spot oh yeah okay sure yeah I'd accept that yeah yeah like get it right behind them and uh do it and then the right timing yeah like like the pop rock fuse uh you squish them together and shake the bag then throw it you whoa that's a six that's a six that's gonna do it hell yeah nice so you what you fill up a bag full of pop rocks and light the fuse yeah and you're all free now but sorry for scaring you and it goes bang and they all uh go like and start trundling towards the hole even faster there's like four more woolly pigs all fighting to get through this hole and like bending the door more and more open their carts are smashing up against each other and uh you see they're getting all smashed up and you're hearing stuff break inside and uh you all watch this one cart that gets really fucked up and you see the name painted on the back is bert's carbonation and you hear like tick tick tick oh shit run can we run yeah you guys can run slow motion jump shit yeah so this is a this is definitely another teamwork group action okay is it what's the fast one finesse would be the fast one yeah so who's leading I'll I'll lead because I'm finesse and prowess okay yeah that makes the most sense I have prowess so just one yeah just one and I'm taking the lowest of two okay shit oh I only got one I got six and two five okay five I'm leading I'll take a stress okay I failed two so you're taking two stress you gotta oh you take the lowest okay I'll take two stress uh you hear like tick tick tick and you hear bernie go what's going on back He's got something smoking in his hands And he's like what?

And we're like Bert run! And he's like My bubbles! And there's a huge Explosion of naturally Essenced mist that fills The room and you all Run out and dive out of the room As the loading bay is Flooded with carbonated water Huge belch sound It sounds like a huge burp And you're all standing on the other side of this door Like And you hear well well well Who's this? Who do you think it is kid? It's Danny the Hawk Taberna And you kids are on my last GD nerd Uh what do you mean?

We're just hanging out here It was just really loud in the show Likely story What were you doing in this employees only area? Uh look at my outfit This is my part time job Then why were you hanging out with this kid earlier When he gave me that candy that made me fall asleep?

Because he's my friend And that's just a coincidence Franklin is like really like dopey And stressed and just starts slowly Doing the Like seeing maybe last ditch effort Of summon king And you see king uh on the other side of the lobby He's come out to get some snacks and he goes Now you got little brother This is your own mess to clean up Yeah So somebody's gonna have to roll something to get away If you wanna get away from uh Danny the Hawk Taberna But you have accomplished your goal of ruining The catering for Neils on Wheels Eh sweet And if the show at this point honestly if you think about it If the show gets ruined Not your problem I know Clover doesn't care Yeah I can also kinda look he doesn't care But he doesn't wanna leave his date here Cause he feels like that might be a shitty move You know So I think I'll take one for the team You guys Okay the Hawk Taberna It was me I did all this You can arrest me If you want A confession huh Yeah Alright that makes my job easier And now he reaches into his bag To get some cuffs you think And he pulls out a pen and a piece of paper And he writes on it and he hands it to you And it just says get out Okay I guess I'll see you guys at home Oh Clover Okay so Clover Heads out of the Coxborough Hawthorne Memorial Auditorium I wave to you guys Enjoy the show I'll see you at home Bye Clover Bye Thank you Don't worry about it I'm gonna miss you I'll see you in like two hours Fenton goes up to Clover You can see there's weird There's tears in his eyes And he's like I'm gonna miss you so much I hope you know that Okay Clover I am so appreciative of this That you did this for us Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you You're the coolest You guys I'm just going home And I'm kinda happy about it And Fenton's like you're being brave And I know you're being brave And I know you're trying to hold back the tears of sadness At missing my alchemical romance We'll tell you everything that happens Every little detail And if Seamus even gets close to another girl I'll fucking slice his little dick right off Wow You guys are such great friends No other friends could do that You know do that for me and then Fenton takes his cane sword out and then he kneels down like this and he goes for you my queen we do anything Fenton you can't do that every time I do you a favor it's weird and yeah Fenton and Franklin head back into the show yes and we we follow Clover as she heads out of the auditorium yeah does she just go back to the sugar shack yeah so I go find my bike that I rode here and I I'm just gonna do a little solo bike ride through the mall oh I stop at Doris's shitty food cart oh yeah give her the card too you have the card oh yeah nice she goes oh Clover hi Doris how's it going oh it's going well it's always it's always a shitty day at shitty foods what do you have today oh just kind of a general slop okay can I have some oh you can here's a slop with a little to go cup thank you um so we did the thing you know secret and then here's the person oh the little the thing that I asked you to do yeah it's just the small favor thank you does she recognize the name on the card Doris looks at it for like half a second and tucks it into her apron and she goes oh Clover um that thing that you got delivered here has arrived what is it and she uh she takes a bag out from underneath the counter and puts it on and slides it towards you can I look you pick it up and you feel the the wooden clacking of spear box inside oh sick thanks Doris anytime I'll be talking to you really soon okay thanks for the slop enjoy I'll see you later have a shitty day I will you too so I put the I put all the stuff in my little basket with the streamers on it and I go beep beep my little horn wait I thought you were making the sound with your with your mouth beep beep I do that too yeah uh and you make it back to the sugar shack you know after a concert like you're struck by kind of like the quiet of the mall especially this abandoned section that you guys live in but uh you get into the sugar shack and Borbo's in the back cruising around on his wheelchair and he's like oh Clover hey hey where are the others isn't the concert still on it is uh but I got kicked out uh oh oh I'm sorry oh it's cool okay I won't worry about it I'm not worried cool about it at all want to hear a song I was working on sure and he pulls out his keytar and he starts playing you a song I eat my slop yeah watch exactly and he's really getting into it he's added some wheelchair spins into the performance of the song sick and uh if this was a show with an actual soundtrack the music he's playing weaves into the music of my alchemical romance as we cut back and the music is just so and we cut back and we see uh Mindy and Franklin dancing in the mosh pit at my alchemical romance and they're dancing pretty not gothily they're really cutting it up and like doing kind of like swing dancing spinning around all over yeah the icing in Franklin's hair has started to melt out revealing his bright blonde locks underneath uh Mindy's gotten rid of the veil she's ripped off the bottom of the skirt of her wedding dress so she can dance Penny's going wild yeah Penny and Fenton have left the dance floor and are doing a competitive apple bobbing kind of thing in what possible what are you talking about I'm sorry I was trying to imagine what the last like camera rising shot would be and I was so confused by what you said yeah like in the lobby there's like games and stuff right I imagine and we got her pile is huge she's so good at it her mouth is enormous yeah it's a water barrel you dip your face in and you come out with a balled up t-shirt inside that's how they give out the merch oh sick cool and uh we get just like a nice little montage of the cool treat kids enjoying the rest of their day Franklin making some uh some headway in this relationship he's kind of like sidling up to King and doing like little buddy buddy dance moves with him oh yeah and he's going crazy but respectfully and uh Fenton has made some connections with a girl that he might not like like but he's certainly good friends with now yeah I mean we do connect on a certain level but also on another level I might really hate her and uh we get one final shot of Clover and Borbo in the back of the sugar shack as the camera rises up over them singing and dancing over the building outside the sugar shack you see the hobnoblin on the roof uh opening a letter and reading it intently and we rise up wait what through the skylight what the fuck's going on to the light of a brand new day and that's where we're gonna end it this time I've been your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Fenton Beasley the slide Abdul Aziz playing Franklin Stein the cutter Paul Oppers take care playing Clover Ivy Fern the whisper Jessica Tai bye this show is only possible thanks to you our incredible susporters who susport us at patreon.com slash Spout Lore and thank you to Samuel Quinn Morris for all of his incredible intro and outro music and uh thanks to our patrons on the discord for the names Coxburgh Hawthorne of the Coxburgh Hawthorne Memorial Auditorium that was by Jex uh and Danny the Hawk Taberna by Jess on discord that is a thing that uh patrons at the $10 level do they suggest NPC names and we kind of weave them into the show so thanks for listening everybody we'll catch you next time and so ends the tale of the cool treat kids always up to no good so tiny and greedy and angsty they be as they navigate crime and puberty and though our journey may be like a conclusion we will not leave you without a resolution return next week to the chocolate store as the cool treaters and the sweet kids plan their next score and for you I'll gladly spout more this one wouldn't work but this has the best this definitely has the best opening this is like a rap oh yeah we can't do this I just like the opening of that song I do like that we were in the booth we were in the booth and someone's like no is this too urban for me too urban someone we're stopping and stalling we're running in circles again trying to catch that hobnoblin he's all up in our shit and he's stealing all of our chocolate not chocolates for eating not for goblin noblin if he doesn't give it back to you back I'm in too deep I'm gonna rip down the vents if we destroy his home we'd suffocate but we'd lose the hobnoblin if we just do a bunch of renos we could probably rid ourselves of this little brat oh god I forget this part each time I go to the bar see shameless walking I think you're a piece of poo then I keep going and I really miss corndogs but I guess I gotta find another food what else am I gonna eat here I have to go to the burrito place but I fart a lot when I eat beans and Ben's and gets mad and I'm not gonna eat beans and I give the bier to the bier and I give the bier to the bier and I give the bier to the bier or open a window and I said it's not my fault This is time that wonder why I hang out with these kids all the time.

I'm 20. I have a job. I haven't been there. I'm probably fired. I think if I went back, they'd like me. They'll probably give me back my job. It's time to go back to Poops where I wash the dishes. But once I get back, I got to talk to that guy. What the fuck was his name? His name was Terry? I think I work for Terry. Think I work for Terry. Think I work for Terry. Think I work for Terry or Glenn. Think I work for Terry or Glenn. What was that guy's name? I'm pretty sure it was Terry or Glenn.

The guy that was the server that he was not friends with but wanted his girlfriend. Oh. And Clover was doing the fortune telling for him. But that guy wasn't his boss. No, he worked. I mean, I think he was higher up than Borbo. No, but Borbo had a boss that he was like, I'm leaving. Remember? Oh, yeah. I think that guy's name was Terry. Or Glenn. Or Glenn. Borbo doesn't remember. Yeah. I never remember. I don't even remember the name of the guy that owns that place. Anyways. Another song?

Anybody else got one? Oh, the one. It's pretty sick. It's pretty sick. I think there's another verse. Oh, God. This is Borbo going nuts. Oh, listen to that. Ah! This is the elf in the van. Oh. They're fighting. Cuts back to the sugar shits. Borbo fighting. Shooting arrows into the van. As the elf is Terminator running down the fence. And the arrows plunge through. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's like a fucking anime music video. Like all these weird angles.

The elf like jumps out of the vents dodging arrows. Yeah. The screen is split into three with different angles of him. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So cool. It's like the elf at the top, an arrow in the middle, and then Borbo with a bow at the bottom. Yeah. Yeah. And the thing is they're like he's leaping through the air at Borbo and then it cuts away. We get the freeze frame of the elf suspended in the air. And Borbo jumping out of his wheelchair, like, casts on everyone. Like a starfishing community.

Like it launches themselves. Exactly. Right. Oh, man. You know what I just realized? If you guys wanted the elf, the hobnoblin, out of the vents, you could have a long-term project that's get rid of the hobnoblin. It's kind of a nice vibe. I know. It's, like, weirdly comforting for us, too, I think, at this point. That's the thing, is at this point, I think you guys kind of like the hobnoblin. Yeah. And he has done nice stuff for us. He has done nice stuff.

Remember, he delivered all those presents. Yeah, he did. He was on the roof of the club. Shh. Winks at the camera.