Episode 16 – Blades of a Feather Dark Together

Pickaxe You've seen them around, they sell sweets by the pound They're aware of the famously tasty So here I sing, singing to you Of crimes involving chemistry Clover's the whisper, she makes all the sweets She has a coin of addiction Benton's the slide, she sleeps in the sink And rice can fire a fanfiction Franklin's the cutter, his fighters strength Despite his dance, his heart Best and brightest, they may not be But that's my favorite part So gather round, friends And listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spout More Mall Brats I'm your game master Sean O'Hara Joining me as always playing Fist of the Fenton Beasley the slide, Abdul Aziz Hello everybody Playing Franklin Stein the cutter, Paul Oppers Hello everybody No, no, that's my voice And playing Clover Ivy Fern the whisper, Jessica Tai Hello everybody No, this is ridiculous You guys can't make fun of my voice When last we left our heroes I swear to God, I'm gonna slit all your throats We are now, this is Welcome to the Concert Job Part 2 The Cool Treat Kids on a mission to Sabotage the catering at the My Alchemical Romance concert At the behest of their patron, Doris of Shitty Foods They have acquired outfits And they have acquired dates And all that's left to do now Is to meet those dates And go to this concert What are the Cool Treat Kids doing?

This is zero hour, you're getting ready to meet your dates Is everybody meeting their date like in front of the auditorium probably?

I mean, I personally would have wanted to go home And really see And really spiff myself up Oh yeah, yeah, we're at the sugar shack Yeah You're putting the final touches on everything Yeah Borbo's spinning around in his wheelchair Doing all these cool stunts that he's been doing today Yeah Every single stunt adds six hours to his recovery time But it has been worth it for him I know, and it's cool to watch Yeah He's on one wheel right now, like on the side Yeah Kind of like balancing, like Ow, ow, ow Clover was trying to copy him like on her bike Trying to learn these sick moves Yeah You're just riding your bike in the storeroom of the sugar shack That you all sleep in knocking shit over She's really good at it though Pretty good, I'm getting the one wheelie Poppins Oh, the like back and forth, like on the wheel That's so cool I like that you and Borbo are playing horse But with like a wheelchair and a bike Yeah Copying each other's moves And Fenton is really excited that stuff is happening He's like, we never ride our bikes inside So he just got an appointment to go to the store And he's like, I'm going to go to the store And he's like, I'm going to go to the store I'm going to give you a pogo stick And he's just going nuts Because he knows he can't keep The only way he can like Keep momentum going Or just engage with the situation I'm imagining him just with so much energy Because there's stuff going on And on a pogo stick with absolute focus It's so hard to just be like Franklin's like, behind him I'm telling him, he's just like You're lifting him up and down I'm like, oh you do it Do a turn.

Incredible. So like, how's everybody? Because we heard the outfits when they were first applied at Skinny Jeans. Yeah. And now we're at the Sugar Shack. Final touches. Anything been added to the outfits that we want to talk about? Clover is nodding her head aggressively. So let's hear what Clover's done. No one would help Clover with the butt flap. So she did it herself. It's like really big. Like the flap goes all the way to her knees. If it opens.

So she had to put on like little sports shorts underneath. Just like step out of the bottoms. Because the flap is so big she can step out. So she's got like nice like silky basketball-ish kind of shorts. And she's just like taped with duct tape the flap up. So she's like, this is awesome. I've solved the problem. Wait. It sounds like you've made it worse. Do you have basketball shorts on top of your… No, underneath the jumpsuit. And then you've duct taped…

And then you've duct taped the jumpsuit closed again. Yeah. So is it not… Basically like this is the butt. And I've cut out like the traditional butt flap. But the cut goes so low down to the knees that when I open it up, it's just like my whole butt and legs exposed. I can step out without getting all the way out of the jumpsuit. And I put on basketball shorts under for modesty. Okay. I totally… I understand what you have described. Yeah. And the duct tape is so…

So sticky that when I go to the bathroom, I can just tape myself back up again. The butt flap. For a time. For a time. For a time. So here's the issue that I might see with this is that your initial problem was created by the fact that you duct taped yourself into this jumpsuit, which you've done again. Yeah. But I use like less duct tape. And honestly, it's a problem to solve for later. Yeah. Because my favorite part as a GM… Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Self then get out then take the shorts off then presumably deal with underwear as well yes every piss is a devil's bargain yeah like if you have you ever run into the bathroom like having a piss so bad hoping that you don't start peeing before you get like your dick out of your bat your underwear the button fly there's like six buttons oh my god and you're just meditating like as you're doing it you're like please please please definitely a bully invented that the button oh he's gonna piss his pants okay what's franklin's is he got any final steps that he wants to put onto his goth outfit yeah he uh gets a bunch of uh activated charcoal uh-huh and then mixes it with um icing and then puts it in his hair oh to make it because he was blonde yeah I got it so then he's got like kind of drippy slick black whoa black with blonde streaks in it or is it it's like a little bit of blonde at the roots wow slick goth and then he can pull some of it and put it around his eyes if he wants like when he cries it'll look really cool is it back home sorry hold on sorry what when he cries what I really I realized you said when okay so you guys are jumping around like maniacs in the park and franklin it's got his arm up on the window that just goes into the closet and he's just like and he's just trying to think of like times that he was abandoned by his parents in a shopping mall but he can't think of anything actually sad because he's just like I dealt with it so you're trying to learn to fake cry yeah so you could impress mindy yeah so I can be as goth as fuck well I think we I think we can probably help you with that totally how okay because I didn't like uh fenton's looking at me with these weird eyes and I can't read what he's trying to tell me we could probably we could probably make franklin cry right hey franklin you're not even like that good at dancing I mean uh it's more it's more like athletic yeah I can see that I mean I I was told I have a dancer's heart but I mean it's mostly just jumping around and like fighting sort of basically but over a distance franklin your fear to follow your dreams is gonna ultimately crush you you should have gone with grefg smushlin oh!

I I Oh, okay. This wasn't the intense situation I thought it was. Okay, what is Fenton's final touches on his outfit look like? Okay, so the outfit was, as we all remember, skinny jeans with his butt hanging out, studded belt, a shirt that is both too tight and too loose somehow, and then the cape with the high collar. Full-on Dracula. Too long. Too long cape. So he was like, all right, Penny, you said yes to a Dracula boy, and you're going to be going out with a Dracula man.

Oh, and he's stacked up crates when he's in the mirror? Yeah, so that the train isn't on the ground. And he's looking in the mirror, and he's like, all right. And then he lifts his shirt up, and then he takes off his shirt, and he takes some of the activated charcoal, and starts drawing muscles on his big belly. That's so cute. And now the final touch. He pops his lips a couple of times, and then he puts in vampire teeth. Oh, not right. There we go. And now I talk like this. Oh, no.

And yeah, all that's left to do is for you guys to go to the concert. Yeah. So you head to the auditorium, which is called the Coxborough Hawthorne Memorial Auditorium. And outside, everybody who's anybody is here tonight. Who's here? Like, it seems like the majority of the kids in the mall are all here. Some are wearing like My Alchemical Romance t-shirts.

Some are dressed very fashionably in a way that is out of place because they just want to be seen here, but don't actually know anything about the band. Some people seem like they're really excited about, like, a different band. Oh, like the opening? Yeah, they're really psyched about, like, the opening act. Oh, cool. And… Oh, they're like, yeah, the super hip kids are like the older kids. Yeah, exactly. There's like, the teenagers are here too. There's a few adults, but not that many. Cool.

And security is like letting everybody in. So there's that slow, like, flow of bodies into the Coxborough Hawthorne Memorial Auditorium. Sick. Mm-hmm. And the entrance to the auditorium is in, like, a, like, a lofty area with a glass roof like many areas of the mall. And all you guys can do is wait for your dates. Where did you say you were going to meet? We're kind of lingering near the front. There's a few groups waiting for meeting people before they get in the line. Nice. So we're there.

Okay. Well, there's somebody there scalping tickets for sure. Oh, totally. It's the Rat Man. A Rat Man! I see the Rat Man, he's like, yes. I'm the scalp man to know. No. Um, I'm… I'm still Rat Man, but I have tickets. I'm gonna go over to the Rat Man. Guys, I'll be right back in two seconds. Don't do it. No. Don't do it. Guys, I'll be fine. Do you have any money on you? No. Give it to me. He doesn't. Okay. I don't have any money. It doesn't matter. I'm just gonna go talk to the Rat Man. Okay.

Hello. A repeat customer, hello. Hey, Rat Man, how you doing? Ah, the Rat Man. How's your sciatica? Thank you for asking. My left pinky toe has been numb for some time now. Ah. Well, you know what? You just keep doing those stretches that the physio told you to do, and I think you'll, you know, you'll lick it. And then you'll get back to competitive speed walking in no time. Thank you, Fenton. You've always been my best friend and supporter. Wha- oh. I mean, um, thank you.

The Rat Man appreciates the confidence that you have in me. There's depth launched here tonight. Anyways, would you like a ticket? Oh, no, we got all the tickets we need. Ah. What are you selling? What are you selling them for? Um, one rat for two and two rats for three. Wait, what? You're selling tickets for rats? Yeah, how do you think my economy works? God, I am still so confused by it. This guy walks up and says, I'll take two rats and a ticket. He's so confused.

He's getting tickets and rats and trading them cyclically. I just like to trade and sell and be in the crowd. Yeah, and he reaches into his coat and pulls out two squirming rats and hands them to the guy who takes the ticket and puts it where the rats were. Guy's like, sad. Like, yeah. Guys, I got him! And he's got a group of friends away and they're like, yeah! It's a two rat kind of night. And they high five each other. How old are these people? Like 30. Yeah. Like, it's happening.

And unless you stop him, the Rat Man wanders away into the crowd and people keep bringing him tickets and rats. But, Clover, you see Seamus. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. I'm gonna go get him. I'm gonna go get him. I'm gonna go get him. I'm gonna go get him. I'm gonna go get him. I'm gonna go get him. I'm gonna go get him. So they get tickets and rats. But, Clover, you see Seamus. Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. She's drinking her juice and she's like, hi! And it spilled out.

You gotta stop drinking juice, Clover. Hand me that. I already fixed the problem. Here you go. How do they look? You look pretty good, actually. Sick. Yeah. You always look great, bud. Oh, thanks, bud. Okay, I'm gonna walk up now just to look normal. She's like doing weird stuff to her eyebrows and like trying to look cool but she's kind of just wearing something.

So I just put her on top of her head and just like put her on top of her head and just like put her on top of her head and just like put her on top of her head and just now just looking normal as she's like doing weird stuff to her eyebrows and like trying to look cool but she's kind of jutting out her head too far so she's like coming at seamus like a little neck stuck out arms back like hello yeah hey seamus the diaper sound of duct tape all over your body yeah you hear it just it's great it's great plastic and seamus turns around and for a second you're like oh my god yeah he looks incredible life stops for a moment while I gaze at his perfection yeah he's got jeans with wide legs so wide he could fit three of his legs in those legs and around that he's got a studded belt with a chain that goes from one of the belt loops to his pocket so cool what's at the end of that chain who knows mystery he's got a white tank top on and over that tank top a silk over shirt festooned with an image and suspenders yeah suspenders this shirt festooned with a brightly colored image of a dragon oh my god of a style that you have not seen before it's so exotic so cool from what land does this shirt hail who knows he's got a thin metal chain around his neck his hair is gelled up it looks kind of spiky and crispy but in a way that lets you know he is not gonna let that hair go anywhere no he is in full command of that hair and that shirt like what a worldly person so well traveled and well read is the only way can't wear a shirt with a dragon on it without reading uh can you roll 1d6 for me this is a fortune roll I actually have I have a theory four you realize as you were watching shamus like my god he's so beautiful it's not until you are within like a few meters that you realize he is standing with his friends oh and he turns around and he looks really nervous to say hi for a second and I I am frozen because I'm kind of embarrassed now I I like it kind of fixed my posture a bit because I was like oh no I was I was leaning too forward and you realize that you're not in the right place to be in the right place to be in the right place to be in the right place to be in the right place to be in the right place to be in the right place and you realize as two of the two more hot meat boys look over at you and uh shamus is like oh hi clover uh hi shamus nice to see you yeah nice to nice to see you as well I guess okay do you want to go in now to the show yeah okay we're gonna go into the show sorry guys just a second and he uh walks over to you and he kind of grabs your arm a little bit yeah and he steers you around a crowd so they're not in sight and he's like hi clover it's so nice to see you why are you acting so weird you are our two gangs we've been in constant conflict I can't seem to be too friendly with you it's what will it do to my to my standing within the gang well I mean aren't you kind of their boss anyway like no what what gave you that impression I don't know I just like you were running the food like the hot dog cart uh you so you kind of told everyone what to do with the corn dogs and like you're always at all the raids we went to clover I'm 14 years old okay like what does that have to do with anything you know the leader of the hot meat boys is a dwarf named veranda remember veranda yeah I haven't seen them in a while I'm like a kind of up-and-comer perhaps but that's not the case I'm like a kind of up-and-comer perhaps but that's not it so what does that mean like does that mean that we can't like be boyfriend and girlfriend in public or something no uh well yes it just it just means it just means that we need to be we need to be subtle like we can we can dance tonight we can hang out tonight I just have to be constantly vigilant I hope you understand I have to think about it okay well I'm I gotta go back away for too long already I'll meet you inside that's fine I walk back to you guys what what's that how'd it go not good yeah it seemed not good from your general dour demeanor and also that we could hear everything yeah we also were very close okay so you heard it so yeah apparently guys like we can't like be a couple in person or like in public I mean sorry I'm really distraught right now I had a lot banking on you tonight oh clover I am sorry and venton walks up and he he grabs her hand and then he he tugs her in close because you're tall you're like a foot taller so I bend down and I'm like okay clover if there's one thing that writing vampire fan fiction has taught me it's that love trump love trump's all love trump's all and the blood of a weasel can cure the vampiric infection I know and you remind me of that all the time well I appreciate you guys being there for me franklin's just like eyeing up shamus and like cracking his knuckles he's like if if he does anything I'll let you know in fact maybe I'll even handle it myself because you know what who wouldn't want to be seen in public with this exactly point to my hot outfit and the flap unsticks it feels kind of nice because I was getting really like warm when I was embarrassed I just leave it like that yeah I'm like if if he doesn't want to like date me for real well then he can just date me in my in his dreams and uh franklin it's at this point that you see mindy cart arrive you cut you catch then he could just date me in my dream and we were laughing at the mix-up of it like clover even clover hopefully laughs a little bit oh yeah she's laughing and uh yeah franklin at this point you see mindy arrive you didn't notice that she was there at first because uh she hadn't lifted her veil yet but she is in a fucking midnight black wedding dress both overcompensating so much these are the two most goth kids in this fucking crowd oh my god does she have like the black parasol as well she's got a parasol she's got opera gloves black pearls black pearls yeah but her face no makeup because you can tell that she doesn't fully understand what a goth is so she only went like 80 of the way and as she approaches you she's spinning the black parasol and she's doing this very exaggerated like swooping motion side to side like she's the ghost of a sailor's wife and because franklin's also not that goth he's been so he thinks that she's super goth so then he starts walking towards her and because he's like oh shit okay yeah we gotta do the goth walk and then fantastic from where he is he's just like real nautical vibe to this whole interaction uh and as when she gets closer to you she she's like hi franklin and then he slowly he has his head down at his chest and he lowered it like before she came up and then he raises his head so slowly so just the the top he looks at her through his hair and says like oh hey mindy oh fuck and then he looks to the side and like puts his hands really deep in his pocket like but the the button there's no bottoms in their pockets so he doesn't let his hands just slide down his hands and he did he like looks up at her like huh you look pretty cool I guess thanks you look cool too thanks whatever she looks really uncertain she's doing this like goth thing so do you have the tickets I guess yeah cool and really like believe in that sort of thing but yeah we have them right here I don't believe in that sort of thing ticketing to events tickets you like going to shows and paying for things yeah and then he straightens right up and puts his arm out like a gentleman and she grabs it right away boom we start walking by the guys give him a little thumbs up yeah we're thumbs up that was awesome clover sums here and hurt some tears in her eyes tears in my eyes honestly I'm just like overwhelmed at how good mindy looks like I'm looking at myself like what was I thinking what was I thinking why didn't I dress like a dead sailor's wife fenton why don't you say something I did I said that looks like a janitor's outfit clover has to take the fall for this she knows yeah I blew it uh and fenton you see penny and she's wearing a uh bright pink tutu oh god hi penny and she like toddles over to you really quick and I shove the vampire teeth in my mouth as fast as I can upside down yeah so it looks like I'm an underbite man like a werewolf you have tusks yeah can you get to see you whoa sorry ben you look scary thanks I uh I put a little stink on my look tonight what does that mean sorry uh oh I can't really talk in those things I said I put a little stink on my look tonight why did you stink yourself I sort of wanted to just try and go all out tonight to make it like a big thing for you okay I did this and then he lifts his shirt up and you can see so smeared smeared into a big belly shape like a shadow yeah I lines his tummy so in the brightest light it was still like a fat belly yeah and she's like oh cool and she lifts up the shirt that is at the top of her tutu and you can on her tummy you can see a mashed up drawing of a cat she's like me too whoa and then it is as if this happens yeah a spotlight descends upon us where we stand and then that song that goes but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but what's that song yeah and then and like one of the mall jailers is cleaning on one of the glass plates in the ceiling lighting light because it's daytime in the mall and then slowly we press our stomachs together wow wow cool you have a cat on your belly now yeah and she has a black black smear you mashed up my cat thanks I think he's cute cool and then I pull a rat out of my pocket and I give it to her whoa I pin it to her wrist like it's a course you pin the rat to her wrist a live rat I hate it no but like not in a not cruel way you just put it on her wrist yeah and the rat like clamps grabs on because I had earlier talked to the rat man and I was like I need like a special thing to give her like a corsage oh a corsage rat yeah it's a faggot rat yes of course specially trained and he lifts up his own wrist and there's a rat already attached to it oh no that's my that's my watch rat here's the corsage your mom's gonna call you at 5 55 that's a really good rat um yeah and she's like so what is this gonna be it's a mild chemical romance concert most of their music's really sad and about their dads oh but you know we can just like do whatever when we go in there I would like to do that but I'm not gonna do that I will have to bounce for a bit because uh I would I'm going to have diarrhea what do you mean the music uh I always feel it deep inside and it comes out as diarrhea oh okay so but I'll leave you for a bit but then I'll come back and we'll hang out for the rest of the night okay okay cool I grab her hand and we walk we walk in together all right uh and you get through ticketing no problem because uh we have them yeah doris arranged for you guys to have tickets and borbo got the shit kicked out of him for one of them so clover has an extra ticket because shamus didn't take it clover during the lineup she was looking out the sunroof at the sun and kind of imagining the uh the constellations that would be up there even though it's sunny right now and she's and she's like kind of thinking like you know what when I was looking at the sky the other night I was looking at the constellations and I think I remember it telling me that I've got to go to the sunroof I just wanted to follow my own path in life and you know what if shamus is too embarrassed of me then I'll find me a real boyfriend and I rip up the ticket whoa holy fucking shit yeah and he sees you probably he sees me and I just throw the tickets on the ground and I step on them on purpose but I kind of miss it and I got stuck in my shoe I'm like oh and I keep walking yeah Good morning.

High Spear Mall. It's your boy, Franklin Stein. Go ahead and plug your ears. This is for Mindy's ears only. Look inside you. What do you see? Nothing? That's right. You're an empty void, a blank canvas upon which a masterpiece will be painted. My masterpiece. I'm Gref Smushlin from the Gref Smushlin Academy for the Arts in Marshall College. Do you have what it takes to forge your body into a weapon of war and a work of art? There's only one way to find out. When I tell you.

Now accepting students for the class of 384. Are you looking for a D&D podcast with actual stakes? A world where every decision the cast makes is met with consequence? Then journey to the world of Theria on Dungeons & Randomness. Where an actual play podcast with over 14 years of stories and our newest arc, Frostborn, was created with new listeners in mind. Check out Dungeons & Randomness wherever you get your podcasts and join our incredible community for the adventure of a lifetime. Alright.

You got that, Mindy? I think those things could change your life. What's that? Get out here. Full security! Full security! Get out! There's a knuckle sandwich at the door. I need to go answer it. Gotta go. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. No, it's just a sign. It just does. It just tracks. There's elves in there. Yeah. Fenton is running back and forth in front of it, being like, holy shit.

Frank and Fenton get on either side of him and then run in opposite directions. He goes all wall-eyed. We're like… Gotcha. We're trying to impress our dates with this. And Penny is laughing uproariously. And Mindy's trying to be cool. Yeah. She's twirling her parasol like, ugh, whatever. Chuckling behind her umbrella. Yeah. Hee hee hee hee. And you go inside and it's, you know, like pre-concert vibes. It's just like conversation just rolls throughout the room.

You see people going into the theater itself. But outside there is merch booths. There's concessions. There's food tables. There's various kinds of service going on. And you wonder who exactly is doing catering because you realize that Doris did not give you a name. Yeah. So you need to figure out who is running this place and what you need to do to fuck them up. Hmm. I walk back to you guys and I pull you away from the eyeball thing. Yeah. Like, okay, focus right now.

We have to find the caterer that Doris wants us to take down. Okay. Yeah. Is it one person that's doing the whole event? We don't know. I don't know. Let's go to the concession and see where we can find out. What do you think? Yes. Yeah, that's okay. Okay. So I just run over to Penny. I'm like, do you want… Do you want me to buy… Get you anything? I'm going to go get some beetle nugs from the concession. Okay. Do you want anything? Okay. Penny, do you want anything? Yeah. What do you want?

Yeah. What the fuck? Okay. I'll get you beetle nugs? Yeah. Okay, cool. Okay. And she goes over and she starts looking at t-shirts. But she's not moving. She's just staring at them. Ben, you're dating. It is weird. She's alien-ish. She's eight years old. Yeah, but so is he. I'm eight. Yeah, what? And you're a fucking freak. Oh, you got a normal… You got a normal eight-year-old on your hands, pal. Yeah. Okay. And you go over to the concession stand, Fenton, and you find like…

It's like a booth, like a hole in the wall kind of thing. But inside you see like a wagon kind of thing that's been pulled up to this window. Oh. And there are a couple people inside, serving various kinds of nugs. Oh, cool. Do you guys have any non-dairy chocolate nugs? It's a really scrawny teenager with like a paper hot dog vendor hat on his head. He's wearing an apron, a striped shirt with short sleeves. He's like, let me find out. And he… Is that good? Great voice. Yeah. Great voice.

And he turns around and he goes, Hey! Do we have… Is there dairy in our chocolate? And somebody in the background goes, Yeah! And he turns around and he goes, No, sorry. Oh, fuck. Okay, just give me some fat nugs and give me the little whiteys, I guess. Okay. One bag of fat nugs, one little whiteys. Is there… What can I do? Can I study? You can gather information, which is a straight roll with whatever skill or whatever action you think you want to use to do it. Okay.

Yeah, I kind of want to like just look around the cart and see if there's anything I can do. And see if there's any clues as to who's doing the catering. Yeah. How many dice do I roll? However many you're using for this. So one… Inside, I guess. Yeah, just one. Two. Two. Okay. You try and get a read on kind of what's going on and you ask the guy that's helping you, like, hey, who's doing catering? And he's like, my name's Jeffrey. No, but like who yelled at you just now? Oh, that was my dad.

What's his name? Jeff. Oh, fucking God. Hey, are you guys hiring? Oh, we don't own this. No? No, I just work here. Huh. My dad got me the job. Can I talk to your dad for a second? Uh, just a sec. And he turns around and he goes, dad! Somebody out here wants to talk to you. Can you come out here? He goes, no. Sorry. Can't talk to my dad. Damn it. He's busy. Fucking shit. Shit. Thanks for the nugs, dude. Yeah, no problem.

But what you do see as you're turning around, somehow because you're two and a half feet tall, you see through like a back window of this cart that has obviously been like wheeled up and you see a huge animal on the other side. Whoa, what? Kind of like shuffling around. Whoa. It's like dark, thick, shaggy fur. And it's just like, like trundling side to side on the other side. Whoa. Okay. Thanks, dude. And I walk away slowly staring at the movie shape. So yeah, that's what you learn. Okay.

Guys, I got basically nothing. Okay. Franklin, do you want to go or should I try? You try. I mean, I'm just going to fuck shit up. Okay. This doesn't work. I'm going to rap on his head, if you know what I mean. With more questions. Yeah, definitely. I'm going to really test his noggin. Okay. So there's a drink stand next to the Beetle Nugs shop. Yeah. And it's just basically like another kid pouring out like bottles of bubbly drinks. Yeah, totally. And it's a similar thing.

It looks like a cart that has been pressed up against like a window. Yeah. You think that that's kind of what they do. Like when they hire catering for events, they get like these mobile, mobile kitchens that kind of pop up against windows that are cart like set into the sides of the building. Oh, so it's like the auditorium has like windows all the way around the side and then they push the carts up to it. Yeah, exactly. It's all mobile kitchens. Like they might not have a… Yeah, exactly.

They're food trucks. Yeah. Okay. I have one of the purple bubbly waters. Yeah. Is that all you want or do you want more? You know what? Just keep them coming. Would it… All right. Well, like I mean, I'll drink this. At my own pace and then I'll get another one. I'm going to stay here. He's cleaning a glass with a rag. As you say that, he goes, you got it. And he pours one out of a tap and he slides it down the bar to you. Thanks. It falls on the ground. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Yes. Yes. Sorry.

Can I get another one? Yeah. All right. Everybody gets one because that happens all the time. And he pours you another one and slides it down the bar. I have my whole arm there. So I do catch it this time. Yeah. He starts cleaning another plastic cup with a rag. What brings you in here tonight? The show. Oh, yeah. Right. Well, and also like what brings me like here alone without my boyfriend? Have you been there? Like where he's like, I'm embarrassed of you.

I don't want to be seen with you in public. And then it makes you feel really bad about yourself. You know, a lot of people come through my bar and they die here. They're sobbing. They're sob stories. And it's not a story I haven't heard before. Yeah. I'm sorry to hear that little lady. It's no big deal. Like I'm probably really strong on the inside and I'll be fine. I just used up a lot of my journal about him. So I'm going to have to get a new journal. Oh, yeah.

I hear that was, you know, you're still young. What are you? Six, seven? No, I'm 12. Oh, fuck. Wow. I was really short for my age. That's fine. That happens. You're putting a man's. Yeah. Coveralls. So like what brings you here? Will I work here? Cool. Cool. Like, do you like your boss? You're gonna have to roll now. Would a tune work if I'm trying to, I'm trying, I want to talk to him and get info out. Yeah.

I think a tune could work because a tune, the way that we've described it as like hippie kind of stuff. So this could just be you trying to like vibe out what's going on. You know what I mean? Instead of like needling him for info. Totally. So I roll. Just one. Cause you're using a tune. Two. Jesus fucking Christ. So you get an, you do get a name. Okay. Uh, you know, it's fine. Uh, Neil's like a decent, uh, kind of boss and he treats us all. All right.

I guess, but the hours can be pretty hardcore and, uh, we go all over the place. You know, like this isn't even our only gig tonight. Whoa. Yeah. You're so busy. Yeah. It's just how it is. It's how it is in the biz. He spits in the cup again. So is Neil like the person who runs all this? Yeah. So he like brings all the food and drinks. Yeah. Yeah. We have to cover some of it ourselves depending on kind of like our predilections.

Like I mostly do carbonation and he spreads his hands behind him and you see, you see a very complicated looking device. It's like a bunch of like distillers and steamer thingies. Mm-hmm. It's got like spinning shit. Yeah. There's a pipe that's just burping. And another one's going. Yeah. Weird sound. There's a backwards burp. Yeah. That was impressive. So, you know, this little baby is not cheap to design or to maintain, but Neil gives me an opportunity to, uh, you know, test things out.

I got some hot new ideas when it comes to carbonation. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I could, I could carbonate sauces. All right. Yeah. That could add a little bit of like a texture profile to like most things. One time I, uh, I made a carbonated gravy and I was violently I'll. It turns out burping up gravy is akin to barfing. I'll barf. It kind of tastes like gravy.

If you think about it and all gravy, it kind of tastes like barf. Wow. You've given me a lot to think about. Yeah. You want to try a carbonated banana? I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit.

Good how much are these drinks by the way oh um you know what on the house for a broken heart thank you take it easy and you hear a bang from the machine behind him and he goes oh fuck and he turns around out of sight I was just gonna Franklin was like did somebody say broken heart get free drink and he's like all gothing up and like oh man the world and this he's throwing his hands all over this machine pulling dials and cords and shit he's like just a second just one second oh man my heart is broken you know what I mean frankly you can have mine also I found out the the person's name it's Neil Neil he gets all the carts here and all the foods and drinks what do we know of Neil uh I guess that would be another gather information if you can think of a way to beat somebody up for it yeah that would do it Fenton is not there oh no Fenton is not there okay well we'll talk about what Franklin's doing for a second we'll cut to Fenton yeah but uh yeah so like are you just trying to recall if you know anything about a Neil who might have something to do with food service also after getting the drink I wanted to take Mindy back to see the animal looming in the background oh yeah yeah yeah and like sneak in back there and be like breaking rules and that sounds great so you're trying to like get into the area behind these food carts hey Mindy wants you something cool I guess whatever and she her eyes are wide open which you take to mean absolutely laughs you're dressed perfect stay in the shadows laughs and she goes okay fine and uh just as you're turning away to run away you see that she's smiling really big and she uh she runs after you so then we run into the shadows and we go in behind the cart what was the cart with the uh so you're gonna have to get into like an area okay yeah so you're gonna there is like a security guard standing next to a door that says employees only loading bay oh I have a lights out licorice the licorice that makes him fall asleep yeah okay so this guy he's got really skinny legs big gut mustache he's bald a security shirt a badge that it looks like he made and he laughs has his thumbs in the loops of his pants with a huge key ring on him and he's like hold on kids hey man we just and he points at the sign he doesn't turn around he's not even looking at you he's pointing at the sign he says employees only the signs on the other shoulder he flips to the other side employees only kids sorry can't come back here hey man uh you know like I'm part of the mall group I just I I'm not I don't work for the CHMA but you know I know people who do and I've heard they're not a very good boss yeah I don't buy it kid you look like a little punk and uh I don't like punks so maybe you just turn around head back to your little song and dance and you leave the security to the professionals song and dance hit it laughs starts dancing kind of in the background to the side like with a like a flute you brought a flute laughs it's a candy flute yeah a candy flute just a licorice with a bunch of holes popped in yes hell yeah whoo so this sounds like a teamwork kind of thing yeah uh so is that okay oh hell yeah so teamwork if you were working with your crew you may lead a group action uh which sounds like franklin is maybe leading a group action with clover so what action were you gonna use I was gonna I was gonna use command and get this guy to also play the flute in a duet so I can dance to it but give him a licorice flute of knockout licorice flute to play so he'll go unconscious so we can go see what this thing is out back uh-huh so I'm gonna tell you right away this is gonna be tough yeah because that's a wild sure tack to take what about through finesse well it's dance yeah bodily finesse you might be impressed by physical grace because he seems like a guy who's impressed with prowess okay okay so you're doing teamwork so you're both rolling the same action which is I'd say finesse we're doing the song of dance do it do it do it do it shit franklin got a six five so okay describe what you guys are doing okay so clover was in the shadows but she comes out of the shadows slowly like a little snake yeah music first and the security guards watching you warily and franklin is darting from shadow to shadow he's staying in the shadows and you can hear like like flipping and everything but you can't really see it you can just sense that he's doing these crazy moves in the shadows and mindy starts twirling her parasol kind of in like hypnotizing yeah patterns and he's just like oh my god these kids are sick yeah and he gets into it and he's kind of like swaying back and forth as he's watching you all do this insane performance I do a series of backflips up to him and say here play this flute bodyguard all right and then I stand next to the bodyguard I'm doing like the swaying around like yeah we're all like really close to him like yeah we're a band we're a band he seems hesitant at first but he's like all right I may be uh an exceptional security professional but I'm still a man and he takes and an amateur flutist and I've always wanted to play the flute and he takes it and he starts playing this licorice flute he puts his mouth on it too much yeah he doesn't know how to play the flute he puts his whole mouth on it and he's like oh my god on the flute yeah and clover puts it more her own like flute in more in her mouth to be like yeah you're doing it right you want really yeah he's like okay here we go at the end of the dance we're all gonna take a bite ready guys and he takes a huge bite of the licorice and he chews on it for a while high fives everybody's like wow kids that was great can't let you back here get out of here all right thank you for doing your job you just take that licorice thank you let it not be said that Danny the hawk to Berna is a heartless man whoa nobody gets past the hawk the listeners don't know what you're doing he's got both of his fingers in like a pinched position and he's swiping his hands back and forth in a wing like motion and when he turns around he's wearing a leatherman jacket with a hawk embroidered on his jacket it's on his security shirt like it's a button down security shirt that he's embroidered a hawk on the back poorly he seems like he has an idea in his head that he's fighting crime yeah as a vigilante almost he takes security very seriously he's just guarding a pig and uh you walk away and Danny the hawk to Berna is uh standing there with his fingers in his belt loops chewing on the licorice looking around and he starts yawning and then he sits down in the chair next to the door that he's guarding and he starts snoozing away come on guys let's go alright Fenton I'm not there I look around and I'm like I don't know where he went we can't wait though and you guys dart towards the door and we cut to Fenton uh Fenton should have thought of this you said what Fenton is in the Mr.

Gilbert costume but Penny is the bottom this time oh so Mr.

Gilbert is significantly shorter now yeah and he like he's talking to one of the security guards and he's complaining to him about his kid having diarrhea and just being like one of these fucking catering guys like gave my kid food that he couldn't eat I don't know what it was I need to figure it out he's got wild diarrhea and so I need to talk to like the manager of this whole fucking place so that I can get to the bottom of what's going on here I heard his name was like Neil or something yes yes sir the catering is all being handled by one organization and I will um this is not really my uh area of expertise I'm more security but I can potentially put you in touch with somebody yeah I don't know if the catering owner is on site today but I can see what I can find yeah I need to like discuss this situation because his pants are ruined and my pants also were ruined because he was sitting on my lap when it happened uh huh so you're gonna have to roll sway again okay and again risky standard here we go ooh five five okay so the security guard is like okay sure and they go up some stairs we might have to fake diarrhea ourselves maybe yeah good thing I brought these diarrhea pops is a diarrhea pop a thing that looks like diarrhea or is it a thing that you eat to get diarrhea yeah which!

You know what let's actually just start a clock I think oh yeah so the name of the clock is suspicion okay and this is basically just gonna be like the more you guys dick around the closer you get to getting busted we haven't even gone into the concert I know the concert hasn't started yet yeah okay okay should we have a project clock for like us to find out who the caterer is yes so I will start another clock that is uh find the caterer okay so the suspicion clock is eight pieces and you have filled in two of those okay with this Mr.

Gilbert Ploy uh huh and the find the caterer clock is uh six ticks nice okay so you get three ticks you're one tick away from actually finding oh wow everything sick that's really good about the catering thing but you're four ticks away from getting busted so be careful shit fuck no more risky moves when they're gone I'm talking to Penny I'm like you're doing really good as the base of a Mr.

Gilbert I don't think you should be talking to me while I'm inside this coat no I don't think anyone's paying attention and I look up and the security guard's standing in front of you and that's why we got two ticks on suspicion she's just like hmm I call my man boobs Penny okay uh here is um here is the catering um assistant manager and uh it's a uh like a like a 50 year old human woman she's kind of got like a mom body she's got like long curly gray hair what can I do for you sir well here's the situation my son was sitting on my lap after eating food from this establishment oh and he shit his pants very badly so I need to complain to somebody to find out who's gonna replace my son's pants who's gonna replace my pants who's gonna replace the upholstery on my uh cherry red thunderbird themed cart uh sir I'm so sorry to hear that your son had diarrhea but um if you want to leave me your information we can have someone send um some forms to your house and we can figure it out from there how does that sound to you sir I think it sounds like kneels on wheels is trying to get out of paying the business to old Mr.

Gilbert and Mr.

Gilbert does not take no business from other people because I'm a business man uh my accent is becoming more southern sir I'm so sorry that your son had diarrhea here is um my card and here's the card of in personal uh contact information of my boss Neil okay here you go thank you and we will rectify this um at your earliest convenience thanks so much I appreciate that I'm gonna go wash my pants now enjoy the rest of your evening farewell bye and we cut back to Clover Mindy and Franklin who have snuck into the loading bay of uh of the auditorium which is like a big cavernous area lit with like uh like lamps and you see lined up where the carts were in the windows is a bunch of like wooden metal trucks and attached to the front of the trucks is a bunch of uh woolly pigs oh woolly pigs there's like four of them back here each attached to a cart that is pressed up against one of the windows and Franklin goes up in his petty window come on and it chomps on a big pile of like weeds that it has in front of it and it just looks you in the eyes as it chews hi little one hello how are you I'm talking I'm talking to the woolly pig and I spy that it has a few mushrooms growing out I've never seen before I say do you mind it's just chewing like it's doing that big cow chew where its mouth is going all the way around I'm pulling a mushroom off like uh yeah you uh yeah you can roll for this too if you want some cool mushrooms I want to yeah cool I forgot they have mushrooms growing on yeah they grow mushrooms in their fur um do they eat those mushrooms no it's like a parasitic relationship I think because they grow them because they live in like boggy areas so then like animals come and feed on the mushrooms and also clean the pig oh yeah uh so I guess a tune probably to like sweet interact with this animal in a calm way okay four four okay um so you can see that you have a lot of mushrooms growing on the ground and you get this mushroom out of its fur and what color is it it's actually like um kind of see-through like a jelly whoa cool and it glows a bit like whoa beautiful yeah and the four to five on this is that you've never seen a mushroom like this before you have no idea what it is or what it does oh my god greg you might know yeah it's a great idea so put in my pocket yeah talk to greg about your glowing mushroom later yeah yeah and mindy's like hey franklin clover what are we doing back here uh we'll just hold on I think what if we just got the woolly pigs to walk out yeah with all their stuff we'll load up the trucks with the stuff yeah yeah that's a good idea okay okay so how are you gonna how are you gonna pull that off is there anybody back here um there's like you hear voices further down like it sounds like somebody comes out of their truck and talks to their pig and is like moving stock around yeah so uh maybe we can move like all the weed all the weeds that they're eating yeah just like start moving them further away yeah we start like yeah putting a carrot in front of their faces or anything yeah good idea and it's also the kind of thing like you know there'll be an intermission you can come back now that you know that this is where the pigs are and this could be a way to deal with this you could think of a plan because the concert's about to start like mindy is at the door peeking out and you see behind her the lights flash in the lobby and she's like I think I think the show's gonna start okay okay let's come back yeah you go back out and uh danny the hawk to burn is like stop right there freeze criminal scum he's obviously having some and he walked by and he's like punching the air a little bit he's dreaming he's fighting oh look he's dreaming he's fighting everybody starts filtering into the auditorium itself the volume is higher than it's ever been because people are so excited the show's about to start and uh mindy grabs you franklin and is very excited but she's like come on I guess we I guess we should go inside and get to our seats if we want to see this dumb concert yeah I mean they're my favorite band or whatever I'm so sad that I don't like to be into anything that is so sad and she's so into it you can see in her eyes wow you're so sad just too many lights out here let's go inside it looks darker in there whoa I would love to and she starts twirling her parasol fenton you see the lights are flashing and you're like oh my god I'm so excited I'm so excited I'm so you see Clover and Franklin are moving towards the auditorium itself.

I grab Penny's hand and I'm like, we gotta go. Come on. You've ditched the Mr. Gilbert costume. Oh yeah, we've ditched her already. I like picturing you on top. You reach down, grab her hand, jump off her shoulders and run into the show. And Clover, just as you're going through the door, you kind of three stooges get pressed up against Seamus. Oh, there you are. Oh, hi. Hi. Do you want to dance later? Honestly? Not really. All right. Okay. All right. Fine. Fine. Fine. And then we part.

Yeah, the crowd, there's like a wedge of crowd that comes between you. Yeah. And as you walk away, do you look back? Yeah. Seamus is looking at you. And then I, I kind of like think like almost for a second, like, should I? No. And I keep going where I'm going. And if you were an outside observer watching this, as, as Clover turns around and walks away, Seamus stands there watching her walk away for a while. Aww. And then his friends are like, Seamus, let's go to our seats.

We got a bunch of bubbles that we're going to shotgun before the show. One guy's got a rat. He's like, look at this guy. And he is like, all right. Yeah, boys, let's go drink bubbles. And he walks away. And that's where we're going to end it for this episode of Spoutmore Mall Brats. I've been your gamer. Master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing Fenton Beasley, the slide Abdulaziz. So long, everybody. Playing Franklin Stein, the cutter, Paul Oppers. Bye, I guess.

And playing Clover Ivy Fern, the whisper, Jessica Tye. Yeah, bye. Thank you to Samuel Quinn Morris for our incredible intro and outro music. An absolute pleasure to hear every single time. And thanks to Duan Figueroa for designing World of Blades, a game based on Blades in the Dark by John Harper. This is only possible thanks to our incredible Patreon supporters. If you want to support more, we do monthly video streams. We're alternating right now between Q&As and live games.

Set within the world of the Lone Tree Hill players. Oh, right. A super fun time. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, you can find out more about that, of course, at patreon.com slash Spout Lore. Thanks for listening. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye.