Episode 14 – Let Sleeping Blades Lie

Pickaxe should we get to it yeah let's do it I'm pulling Quinn's intro someday when we're all alone I'll tell Borblow that he's so cool as our bodyguard and we love him as our bodyguard shut up shut the fuck up I got this don't yell at Jessica to shut up look at her she's so sad now she's laughing so hard look at how sad she is she's crying I just like Fenton telling Clover shut the fuck up I found the thing I was like shut the fuck up and help me out of this barrel he keeps getting stuck why do you guys have so many empty barrels now it was from a recent job and also like you never know when you need a barrel you know that Simpsons episode where Homer starts stealing grease to sell grease to the grease people that's what you guys did stole a bunch of grease and then we just have the barrels left over and the whole time you guys were like this is just like that Simpsons episode you wouldn't shut up about it music music music music music music music gather round friends let me tell you a tale of music music music scoundrels pretty and small a hippie, a dancer and a sweet talker who live in Hasbier Mall music So here I sing, singing to you Of crimes involving chemistry Clover's the whisper, she makes all the sweets She has a kind of addiction Bent into this lie, she sleeps in a safe And writes vampire fan fiction Franklin's the cutter, he's fighter strength Despite his dance, he's holy Best and brightest, they may not be But that's my favorite part So gather round, friends And listen close For the tale's about to start Hello everybody and welcome to Spoutmore Mall Brats After dark After dark This is an hour after I wanted us to stop recording Late night episodes are always a breeze I'm your game master Sean O'Hara Joining me as always playing Franklin Stein the cutter Paul Oppers Hi Playing Fenton Beasley the slide, Abdul Aziz Hello And playing Clover Ivy Fern the whisper, Jessica Tai Hello I got so thrown off during that intro Because when I looked at Abdul All I could think of was Paula Abdul I almost said Paula Abdul Wow, you finally said Paula Abdul Finally I finally put it together, Sean We have a similar name Paul and Abdul Oh Holy shit Now I'm putting it together, Sean Wow, so slow You made fun of me for your own stupidity Hey, that's a classic Fenton move That's true When last we left the cool treat kids Charles Eve took the mall by storm The holiday season swept through hot and heavy So I'm putting it together now Leaving a sticky residue behind Gross, this is after dark The meatballs of the meatball sauce Oh right, because of the barbecue sauce And the Pepto Bismol The Pepto Bismol, the meats that you hang on everything And little drops of blood from the cuts on your feet Yeah Honestly, the week after Charles Eve The mall smells awful Just terrible Yeah, they have a whole boxing week There's no sales, it's just for cleaning It's literally just particular meats Putting in a box Getting it the fuck out of the mall I was gonna say there's impromptu boxing tournaments Around the mall And whoever loses has to clean up That section Nobody's really sure what boxing week means But it's either the box thing Or the boxing thing And then once everyone's cleaned up Then it's time for Sundip Yeah, exactly So there's one asshole that leaves his meats up You're just like, fucking take him down, Jerry Take him down right now So do we think Sundip has happened?

Already? Yeah, I think it's a little while Yeah, it's a new year Ooh, who's getting close to a birthday?

Oh shit, yeah Somebody must be getting close to a birthday Let's roll a dice to find out Alright Oh yeah, that's fine Yeah, roll a d6 Okay, one, two, three I got a one Three Four It's almost Clover's birthday Oh my god Oh, it's my birthday Holy shit I'm gonna be 13 I'm gonna be a teenager Oh my god Holy fucking shit This is huge Oh my god I'm a teenager I'm a wo- I'm not a girl, but I'm not yet a woman Yeah, we're at the crossroads Yeah Of your burgeoning woman I think I need some time Just a moment that is mine Jessica's doing a fucking Britney Spears song, I'm pretty sure Whatever, no one respects me I did, I joined along, I did the crossroads thing I know, the movie Yeah Man, she's so lucky It's almost your birthday Um, wow, cool So Clover's almost a teenager Yeah Franklin's already a teenager, right?

Yeah Franklin's 13 Hell yeah, I am What happened when you turned 13? Uh, I got a pack of smokes from my dad And he said, hey Franklin, it's smoke up, buddy It was a real bad year at the old Stein house No, dad, what about you?

And now we enter downtime We gotta unwind from this And the holiday season Charles Eve has passed Sundip has passed What have the cool tree kids been up to In terms of downtime activities And also lifetime activities Uh, one of the Charles Eve The after Charles Eve traditions Is going around and Taking the tinsel out of all the cats' asses As they can't pass it through their system all the way Oh my god I'm so sorry You have to wear a rubber glove And you just hold on it And then they walk away And then they walk away And then they walk away And then they walk away And then they walk away And then they walk away And you look away How the fuck did we get this fucking job?

This sucks I'm sorry Just grin and pinch That's what the cool tree kids did for days After you just Somebody from the mall Showed up at the sugar shack And was like, hey kids, bad news Well, it's cause they pay Cause it's They pay for tinsel So there's somebody out there And then we wash it in a vat And we sell it back to this guy It's like Just like selling copper wire Clover was doing it for free Cause she loves cats Are you fucking serious?

We've been doing this for years We've been doing this for fucking free I love it I'll do it anytime I like Paul's thing that like Nobody asked you to do it You collect it To wash it And sell it back to somebody Hell yeah Like tin cans That's why we have all those steel drums That's what we were using To clean the fucking tinsel Don't get the barrels mixed up The clean tinsel and the dirty tinsel Oh man, that's why Fenton was stuck Cause he was like Oh no, I mixed them up I gotta separate them all Better get in there and smell the barrel The dirty tinsel and the clean tinsel Oh, so gross It's almost impossible to tell the difference Between these I fucking swear to God Turns out the clean tinsel is dirty tinsel Well, because this has been going on For literally decades Like people have been washing the tinsel And selling it back to this one dude Who sells all the tinsel in the mall During the holidays Smokey Yeah, Smokey the tinsel guy And he's got one of these voices Cause he smokes a lot Who did that one come from?

So that's from So Smokey is from Jansen Oh yeah, thank you Jansen for that name Thanks Jansen For Smokey, proprietor of Tinseltown So can we tell people what we're doing here? Yeah, oh, this is one of the things that can happen If you join our Patreon at the Very Fine Chef level You can suggest a name for an NPC or a place And maybe it gets into the show So yeah, Smokey, proprietor of Tinseltown Courtesy of Jansen Thank you Jansen What's up kids?

I'm Smokey Smokey Hey Smokey Hey, thanks for all the tinsel I really appreciate it He's got a big fat cigar in his mouth No problem You pay more for the clean tinsel, right? Cause we spent so much fucking time on this It depends where'd you get the dirty stuff from Well these cats And I pointed at a bunch of cats They came with us? The cats are eating the tinsel So yeah, they're like Where you going with all that tinsel?

Oh, they follow me Cause I have like bags of treats Nice That's like I'm like I'm like I'm like Yeah, good boy But because you're keeping them around We've had to do our jobs like three times Cause they keep fucking eating the tinsel You know what?

I'll pay you more for the clean stuff If you make sure those cats get the hell out of here I'm allergic to cats Well maybe you'll pay us a little bit more And we won't leave That's what I said Right now Right, yeah Sorry, fuck Here's a piece of advice, kid Don't try and shake somebody down with information They just gave you Sorry, Smokey We won't do it again No, it's okay I like you kids I like your ego And he gives you a little handful of spear bucks And maybe you give us a couple more spear bucks Or else we'll leave these cats behind I don't think you know how shaking people down works The first rule is Don't try and shake down people four times your size Smokey's huge Tall and wide Yeah He's got a big fat cigar and a little mustache He's got a tuxedo that doesn't fit very well His dickie is sticking up Because he's too big and it's too small Can you believe this tuxedo still fits me?

I wore this to my prom This is perfect Someone suggested Dick Hotman If you need a suave gentleman NPC There you go Yeah He could have a brother Yeah, his brother's name's Dick Hotman Make sure you see my brother Dick on the way out Okay, what does he have to give us?

Just a ring Corrections On how to get out of here Because there's a lot of smoke in this place There is My eyes are really red right now And maybe if you give us a couple extra spear bucks We'll not leave these cats behind Yeah, I can't find my cats They're all lost in the smoke I lean over to Clover I grab her shirt And I'm like I think I'm fucking allergic to these cats I don't know what's going on We need to get the fuck out of here Okay Come on Let's go Let's go find Dick Hotman I did it I can't see My eyes are swollen I take his hand And put it on the back of my headband And in the distance you hear This way, children The exit is over here Is that you, Mr.

Hotman? That is me, Dick Hotman Come over here, children Allow me to lead you out of this establishment My brother has filled with smoke I mean, okay, I trust him And you come over and he is He is really short And skinny And his tuxedo's way too big Who does your laundry? We share clothes We have been the same size roughly since birth As we are two twin brothers And he's smoking a really long thin cigarette in a holder Yeah All right, so now we have these spirit bugs How many do we get?

Uh, let's say ten Cool Sick That's more than I thought I'm washing my eyes out Under the water fountain I'm I'm! I'm washing my eyes out Under the water fountain Under the water fountain Just a public water fountain?

Yeah Oh, like a water fountain Yeah Oh, I meant like a drinking fountain I stumbled away to the wrong kind of fountain Clover's like, man, let's go to the fountain And Fenton's like, good idea Good idea You just, you see him climb up the side and tumble in Oh yeah, that's the stuff Guys, it's so much cleaner in here than most of our water Isn't Fenton's hair? Yeah Really curly? So you get in the water and it's just like Afterwards, it sucks up all the moisture That's how curly hair works, right?

Not really, no Okay, wait, so it's just plastic? It gets longer, yeah Oh my god You see how long Fenton's hair actually is? Because this is the first bath he's had in a year He looks beautiful Aw, just I get it I get it with Fenton, it's that thing Ding ding ding digga digga ding ding digga digga ding ding digga digga ding ding Kiss me beneath the… And I'm like whipping my hair back and forth. And then I put it in front of me and I like whip it back. Like I'm in a Pantene Pro V commercial.

And you whip it too hard and fall backwards into the fountain again. Whoa. It's down like to my butt basically so long. Wow. Okay, so downtime. All the kids get two downtime activities. How do you want to spend them? You have 10 spear bucks to burn as well. Oh yeah, cool. Sorry, dumb question. What do we do during downtime? So downtime activities, you can clear one harm box, indulge in your vice to clear three stress, tick a long-term project clock, get a new asset or gather information.

And we get two, right? Two, yes. Okay, I know which two I'm doing. Okay, so we'll start with Fenton. Yeah, I'm going to clear stress. How many stress can I clear? Three. Okay, I'm going to clear three stress. And then I'm also going to progress a long-term project. And my long-term project is to find out who our patron is. And there's only one pie piece left in that clock. So that completes it. Yeah.

That completes the long-term project clock that Fenton has been obsessed with since the Speltmore Mall Brats game began. Sick. So what does he do to clear stress? He writes some more of his vampire fan fiction. And he actually, he's getting, he's kind of transitioning where he's really getting more into performing it for everyone than he is into like just writing it. So he's like collected all the cool tree kids in Borblow in front of the sugar shack.

And he wants to like perform it for everybody. And he's coerced Franklin into doing it with him. Okay. Franklin has like half moon bifocals and a fat fucking script. Yeah. Okay. All right. So let's get a little bit of this. Okay. So this is the scene where the main vampire hot Bob and it's hot with two T's because he's so fucking hot. And it's Bob with two B's because his butt is crazy. I'd be at the beginning and I'd be at the end. Like the name Bob. Yeah. That's how I like to spell it.

It's like when you see his butt from above and when you see his butt from the side. It's like, it's like a Picasso painting. I'm playing hop up. And then Franklin's going to be playing his girlfriend, Britney Spears, the daughter of the inventor of the high spear mall. Hi. All right. Brit, Brittany, I love you. And all it will take is a single bite from my delicious mouth for you to feel the venom of the vampire of course, and through your veins and you'll transform into one like me.

And then he lifts, he lifts, he lifts his arms up to like show himself at her. And there's like skin flaps hanging from his wrist down to his waist. That's what vampires kind of look like. It's an old pair of pantyhose that he has. He's wedged his entire body. Yeah. He's kind of rigged him up. Of course, I would love to have that delicious mouth, which I have sampled every morning, night, and also at lunch sometimes. Do I have to do this? Read it like it's fucking written, man.

But what if my, Oh God, what if my wife finds out? Your wife will understand. Sorry, I'm trying to be off book. I'm not looking at a script. I told you just you read the script. No, I have to be off. No, don't show it to me. He closes his eyes and he looks away and he's like, your wife, can't give you what I can give you.

That's why she's going to understand that you have to come with me and be a vampire like I am, because that's where we go into the sky and fly around the moon, go up into the sky and around the moon and all the way back into the ground where the vampires live underground. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. We hold hands. Well done. We hold hands, lift him up. Well done. Bow. And then we point up at the tech booth. And the hobnoblin has a spotlight. He takes a bow. And then he scuttles away into a vent. Franklin points at Benton and joins in the clapping. And I go, a tour, a tour. I gotta say, I did not see that coming. I also didn't see it coming.

I really didn't think she was going to want a bite of that mouth or whatever. I also like the choice that you made to make vampires live underground. That was pretty cool. They don't live underground? No. No, they live in the rafters. Yeah, they're bats, man. And then you see Benton flinch down and look up. They live in the fucking rafters. Not all rafters. Not these rafters. We clear them out pretty regularly. We clear them out? What the fuck? Dude.

Dude, you can see the rafters from where we're standing. Yeah, I don't look up. What are rafters? I don't look up because my mom said that if I ever looked up, God would look down at me and hate me. Whoa. That's heavy, man. Also, my neck fat is too big. I can't tilt my head back far enough. It's also physically difficult, yes. So that was one of his damn times for stress. I create stress, yeah. And he's finished the patron clock. But we're going to hold on to that little reveal till the end.

Till the end of this episode. Who next is? I'll go. Yeah. I need to reduce stress by three. Okay, so clear stress. How does that? What does that do? He's added a new activity to clear stress. He likes to make outfits now. He found an old abandoned pedal sewing machine. And he's making a cool outfit. What does it look like so far? I knew you were going to ask that. Will you set it up? That's why I… I came up with an answer ahead of time. Nice. It's a black tutu.

But like a short one is really close to my body. You ran out of fabric. Yeah. A black leotard underneath with like the undershirt style with a leather jacket underneath. Underneath? Underneath the leotard? Yeah. Okay. Interesting choice. It's a motorcycle jacket underneath the leotard. He did say that it's undershirt style. So it's just the straps over the leather jacket. A red leotard with a leather jacket over it. Over it. Okay. Yeah, this makes way more sense. I can move around.

He comes out and he's like, Fenn's like, try it on the outside. Oh, that actually, that works way better. Yeah, it seems more comfortable rather than smushing a bunch of leather up against your body. It seems hot. That was the point. And then, yeah, tap shoes. This is my taping fit. Oh, but are they like maybe white tipped? Oh, I like that. So you've got the contrasts? Yeah. Like white, black, red. Yeah, they're wingtip white tips. So cool. And a white fedora with the brim gone. No, I'm kidding.

Just the brim. Just the middle part of a fedora? Yeah. Not even the… Yeah. And then the really dark ski goggles, like round ones. Holy shit. This is getting cooler and cooler. The more stuff you add to it. The more stuff you add to it. The more stuff you add to it. The more stuff you add to it. The more stuff you add to it. The more stuff you add to it. While you were showing this to Borbo, he's like, okay, cool, the shoes. But wait. Uh-huh.

He reaches in the trunk and pulls out a long elbow length gloves with the fingers cut off. Okay. Oh my God. So fucking cool. Really? Yeah. Every one of these extra things just like elevated. A fake nose ring. What? A real necklace. Oh my God. Is that necklace real? This is 100% real. What kind of necklace? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. It's an anklet. Oh, so it's a sex. So it's choking you? And it's not a real necklace. Also, how do you know that it's an anklet? Whose ankle was it on? You can tell. Oh. I grabbed it from Smokey. Smokey. What's his name? Sorry. Hotman? Yes. Smokey Hotman. Yeah. Cool. Wow. All right. Three stress checked off there. That's beautiful. Yeah. This is the cool. This is the coolest thing I've ever seen. Thank you. Mindy especially is going to be extremely overwhelmed. Yeah.

Wait till she sees the outfit I'm making her. New project clock. Oh, man. So if you want to make that a project clock, you can get a tick on it right now. Okay, cool. We'll call it four. Oh, my God. I'm so curious what Mindy's outfit would be. That was my second downtown activities adding in. Borbo's standing in front of you wearing this outfit in his half crop top with the mesh on it and the short shorts and, uh, his own like fingerless bike gloves and he's like, I don't know.

It's a little much. Amazing. All right. What's still wearing the bralette that says security? That's underneath his crop top now. So you can always kind of see it. Yeah. Hello. Hi, fair mall. Fitted Beasley here. I have taken over your airwaves for I have ads to play and you must listen or else. Aroma. Aroma. Flavors. Flavors. Style. Style. Plates. Plates. Oofs. Oofs. Oofs. Tired of the same old breakfast, breakfast. Come on down. Come. To Oofs. Oofs. Oofs. Designer breakfast for designer women.

See you there in the Estherland food court. Oofs. In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war. And podcasts. I'm Rob. Kevin. Dennis. And Richard. And we're the Preferred Enemies, a show about the Warhammer 40,000 war game. Whether you're a seasoned tabletop veteran or someone who's never moved a mini around a table, we invite you to join us as we talk about the lore, the game, the hobby, and our experiences with Warhammer 40K.

That's Preferred Enemies on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Attention, shoppers, would the owner of a dusky red stallion please return to the parking garage? Your horse is kicking in several windows. All right. Now I have to run away because I took over the PA system. Thanks for listening, everybody. You just made me a very wealthy little boy. All right. What's Clover doing for her downtime? So that wooden hot dog or wooden corn dog, whatever. Oh, yeah.

She had made that into a necklace with like other beads and the beads have like flowers and then she spelled out like with the little letters like bad bitch. Whoa. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. This broke Sean. That's the last thing I expected it to say. Should I change it to hot girl? No, that's great.

Hot girl's really funny too though. Hot meat girl. I like bad bitch. I like bad bitch. Yeah. Anyway, so she's made this like necklace out of the mystery gift and she's going to go to the hot dog cart. She's also dressed up real cute. Like what? Okay. So she still has some of those clothes from like the montage. Where I like looked super hot. Oh, yeah. The rich girls when they dressed me up. Oh, yeah. I had an outfit that I tried on with like lightning bolts.

So I put on the lightning bolt leggings and they're like kind of metallic. And I put on like this like what I thought was like hot girl shirt, which is just like a V-neck shirt. But I think I'm like, I probably have cleavage. I have no boobs. And then I borrow one of Franklin's leather jackets. Did you add the paint to your face again? That was the lightning bolt? I did. Yeah. And I'm just like, guys, how do I look? You look like a bad bitch. Thanks. Just like my necklace. Yeah.

You look like this song Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm. I would love to be a smooth criminal. One day I'll get there. Yeah. I'd like to be an alien ant farm. So you're going to go to the corn dog cart to see Miki? Yeah. Yeah. I walk there and my hair's like blowing in like the air conditioner wind. Miki's not there. Who is it? Seamus. This is my ultimate dream. And so I'm like hyping myself up at Doris's. At shitty food? Yeah, shitty food.

So I'm like, I'm peeking at the hot dog cart and I'm like asking Doris for advice. Like, so Doris, I need some womanly advice. Clover, I would be more than glad to give you some womanly advice. Yeah. So what would you do if you thought a boy was super hot and he really wanted to go on like, like a date or something with him? And at first you were like, I don't think he likes me, but then something happens where you think he likes you. Like maybe he leaves you a secret gift.

And I don't want to ask him because I don't want it to be obvious, but like, I just want to know. I just want to know, Doris. Like, how do I, how do I know if Seamus likes me? This is a problem I've had many times in my life. I was a bit of a slut in my youth. In my country where I am from, a woman shows affection for a man by feats of strength. You go to his house and you find his strongest farm animal and you overpower it. Really? Okay. Jesus fucking Christ.

And by taking this animal to the ground in mortal combat, you show him that you are- Mortal combat? To kill a cow. No, no, no, no, no. I do not mean fatally. I mean two mortal creatures in combat. We would never waste livestock in such a way. You show him or her or they that you are strong enough to protect your family going forward. Okay. So this is what I would suggest you do. Okay. So fight his livestock. Yes.

And then if I beat the livestock, maybe he'll be like, wow, Clover, you're the one for me. Okay, Doris, how do I look? You look baffling, my child. Thank you. She doesn't know what that means. Oh, she puffs her hair. Thank you. Yeah. Would you like some shitty food to go? Yeah. Can you just put it in my pocket? She just ladles something into your pocket. Okay. Doris. Okay. I'll see you later. Wish me luck. Good luck, Clover. Thanks. So I like waddle. You said waddle. Go ahead. You said waddle.

You can't take it back. I'm waddling like as hot as I can. Hey, Seamus. As you say that, you see Seamus turns around and you see an absolute deluge of emotion. It's just like, wow, it's Clover. Is she waddling? Wow, she looks cool. Does she? She smells like shitty food. Yeah. What's that smell? Is it her? It smells good, but not if it's a person. Is that the necklace I gave her? That's nice. Does that say bad bitch? Does bad mean good? And he turns around and he's got one of those.

He's got like a corn dog, wet corn dogs that haven't been fried yet. Yeah. In between each of his like finger holes, like Wolverine claws. Wow. There's like stars behind him. Yeah. Yeah. It's that pink wash as he turns around really slow motion. And that's when you see each and every emotion that crosses his face. Okay. One after the other. A rainbow. Wow. And you see him go, Oh, hello, Clover. In slow motion. Why are you talking so slow? What do you mean? Oh. Um.

Clover perceived and reacted to the non-diegetic slow motion. And I'm so like thrown off. So I'm like, sorry, can I just get like my usual like couple corn dogs? I suppose. And he turns around and he's keeping eye contact with you. And he dips both of his fistfuls of corn dogs in the oil. Being very careful not to put his hands in. So, uh, like you like my new look? Uh, yeah, I guess it's pretty cool.

You look like, um, you look like the feeling of not knowing if a light socket's on when you put the new bulb in. So like, like exciting? I suppose that's the word. Oh my God. Okay. That's a, that's some necklace that you've got. Yeah. Does it look familiar in any way? Uh, yeah. Maybe in the fact that it looks like one of these. Well. And he holds up the corn dogs. I know what a corn dog is, Clover. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant like.

I think someone likes me because someone gave it to me in secret on Charles Eve. And it's, it's nice. Uh, yeah. I guess you could call it nice. It's just, I don't know who, if somebody were to like you, why wouldn't they just come out and say it? Like, uh, Charles Eve is the, on Charles Eve we tell the truth. It's true. That's a thing we all know. My dad met my mom by coming to her house on Charles Eve with a bunch of cards that said, don't tell your husband I'm here.

I love you so much and I'm sorry that I kissed you. Even though my best friend is married to you, don't tell him bye bye. Oh, wow. That sounds really romantic. It was. And then afterwards I was like, this might be weird. That's a weird thing to do to your friend. So I wonder why that person like wouldn't tell me they liked me, but I mean, there's still time if they wanted to. And I like bat my eyes at him. Really?

Is there a time that if somebody were to want to say something, it wouldn't have been too late? No, it's never too late for true love. Wow. And for a moment you cut away to Franklin and Fenton who are three levels up on the mezzanine watching with binoculars. It's those binoculars you have to put a spear buck in to use. Franklin has giant headphones and like a huge cone sound phone and he's trying to like, I'm trying, I can't. I can only hear you. I can only hear the friar.

Fenton's trying to read their lips and he's like, okay, I think I got what they're saying. Clover just went. And then Seamus went. But with an Irish accent. Yeah, he did Irish and then he said, KarnDak. Oh, well, okay. I guess it's not too late. I'll be sure to tell whatever stupid ass would like someone like you. I'd be sure to tell them. That it's not too late to share their true feelings. If they have feelings like a like a stupid. Say it. I had nothing else. Okay.

That was the end of the sentence. I am so sweaty. I'm sweaty as well. But because I'm just say that neither did I. So cute. I want you guys and and come back to us for a second and I'm like, holy shit. They both just got crazy sweaty. I could see it from here. I can hear their chemistry. Anyways, here are your corn dogs. Clover. Thank you Seamus. And our our our cash systems down. So why don't you just take these ones and then you can pay me double next time. No problem. Okay.

Tell your friend to like, let me know. Their feelings. All right. Okay. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Love you. What? I said get the hell out of here. Clover. Okay. Bye. Bye. And then come back to us for a second. I'm like, okay, she's walking away. Do the thing. Play the song over the PA. Okay. Click. What the fuck? And Clover is so upset. She's like, not that one. Not the song. We're too far away to hear it. It's already been triggered. Clover's just waving her arms. I think she's into it.

She said, turn it up. It looks like she's going back in for a kiss. Oh, I'll turn it back up again. Fade out as Clover runs away. I assume from the boot. Clover is like, I'm just so stoked. I run over to Doris. How did it go? I think really good. He said, love ya. I think I have a boyfriend. That's amazing. That's amazing. That's amazing. That's amazing, Clover. I'm very happy for you. Thank you. I just, I hope that the stroganoff helps. Oh yeah. It's great.

Cause I forgot to ask him for like some mustard. So I'm just gonna dip the corn dogs in. Wet stroganoff in a pocket. Beautiful. Cute. And that's three stress taken off. That's fucking great. And you get one more downtime activity. Um, fuck. What do I do with my other downtime? Yeah. What are the options again? You can do a clock or. I have a project. I have a project. I have a project. I have a project. I have a project. I have a project. I have a project. I have a project. I have a project.

I have a project. I have a project. Clear one harm. Tick a long-term project clock, which can be a new thing that you want to do. Get a new asset, which is like a temporary. Thing for this job. Object like a golf cart or a potato gun, you know, whatever. Or gather information. I'll gather information. On what? Shameless. Nice likes and dislikes. Okay. Oh no. No, that's great. Clover's obsessed. It's fucking great. Yeah. I'm losing my mind.

What kind of information do you want and how are you gathering it? Do you like me? Yes or no? On a piece of paper. Yeah. So Clover is really excited and she runs back to the sugar shack. She's like, Borbo, Borblow. What's up? He's doing chin ups in a doorway. I need you to do me a favor. What do you need? I think I might have a boyfriend, but I don't know yet. So I have to like ask, but I don't want to ask, you know, because it's embarrassing. Uh-huh. Can you take a note to Seamus for me?

Seamus? Yeah. Seamus is your maybe boyfriend? Yeah. That guy's a dweeb. No, he's not. He made me this hot dog for Charles Eve, remember? Yeah. Okay. No. I, yeah. I see that. I just, I don't like the hot meat boys. They're a bunch of little pricks and I just don't want. Okay. Whatever. I'm not your dad. I'm not your dad. So what do you need me to do? Okay. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter.

I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter. I give you the letter.

No and then send it back with Borbo wait so I have to like take it to him yeah and then wait for him to check it and then bring it back yes okay all right I'll do it for you okay thanks okay thanks here's a do you want a corn dog for it no okay I can't have carbs anymore okay well I can have carbs so I'll just eat it I'll just eat it all right all right I'll see you later okay bye and he folds up the letter and he takes it and then he just goes into a dead sprint and is running down the hallway I'll just wait here I'll be here and you see him get to a junction and just go into a hard slide and a right angle he's just going as fast as he can fucking love Borbo uh okay so are we I guess we're waiting for this letter to come back yeah do we see the interaction and stuff oh that'd be fun yeah well I mean neither of them are point of view characters I know but we're still at the mall so but what you're asking me is to do a scene with two NPCs on my own I know we love you Sean Sean you're very entertaining to us uh okay well they're not gonna necessarily okay we cut back to the corn dog cart and Seamus is looking at the letter and he's got it on the counter and he's leaned over with like a quill looking at it and Borbo is looming over him with his hand up on one wall just watching him yeah panting because he's sprinted here yeah and Seamus keeps looking up at him and Borbo's looking him right in the eyes don't hurt my little girl and now Clover's with us up on the mezzanine with binoculars and the big cone thing that doesn't do shit doesn't do anything what do you think they're saying this is what I'm picking up I wonder what it means some secret language that like guys talk yeah older guys maybe we'd know if it is we don't know and uh you see after a few minutes pass of watching this like longer than you would expect it to take Seamus to write this letter well here's the thing that I picked up on while uh Clover was writing that letter is it was if you like me let me know yes or no if you like me yes or no there's so much weird redundancy in it he's trying to decipher what it actually means it's a real chunky monkey now moment you chunky monkey now uh and you see Seamus write something and then Borbo snatches it off the table and then goes into a dead sprint and runs out of the yesterland amusement park I throw the binoculars down and I sprint after him yeah and we run after her but as we're running I trip on the PA system again and for a second you hear fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck shit sorry uh and there's no way you guys catch Borbo he's so fast but you do make it back to the sugar shack and he's there panting sweating so where are we oh my god did you get it yeah I got it can I see oh my god what's it say what's it say what's it say what's it say yeah here you go the y is checked oh Clover faints no he just passes out and then Fenton was so far behind everyone this is when he comes in just to see Clover Faye he's like oh no is it bad Franklin catches her and now we know wow fuck Seamus likes Clover oh my god uh so you know few days pass whatever weeks doesn't really matter um and you come back to the sugar shack one day after uh digging through the garbage for the afternoon oh boy I love garbage afternoons yeah you guys come back in with a big bag of garbage I'm more of a garbage morning kind of guy man we found so much good stuff what are what are three things that you found I found three left shoes nice not bad Franklin found a bag of old corn dog sticks you know with the little chunky bit of the batter at the bottom of the corn dog that's still left over his favorite part fucking sick crunch crunch crunch I found a um a wheelbarrow whoa and it was full of slinkies those are gonna come in handy oh shit this is so much stuff I didn't know we could say we found useful stuff that's another thing where that was the last thing I expected a wheelbarrow full of slinkies so now you just have a wheelbarrow and a shit ton of slinkies heck yeah and you come back into the back room of the sugar shack and Corb Green is there Corb oh how's it going children I have discovered the identity of your patron phantom drops off your shoes now please while I am quite certain it is still a suspicion but I would like you to look at this board we look at the board and he's got like it was pretty good when Fenton was doing it like surprisingly uh but now it's like professional oh yeah he's got like a beauty and the beast style rolling ladder that he climbs up and down and slides around to connect all the pieces sick and you see a bunch of uh pictures with question marks and the names of the food court members at the top connecting to smaller gangs you see the vineyard the barbecue kings the wild nogs all those assholes and a myriad names that we haven't encountered yet yeah and uh he has question mark patron and then you three little drawings of the three uh cool tree kids and then a little offshoot with a picture of Borbo whoa Corb you drew these pictures of us I did yes I have many artistic talents I write detective fiction I draw portraits I also macrame but that is beside the point the borders of some of the photos are macrame now it took me quite a while as you might expect to dig through quite so many reaches of the mall and it's underworld but I have discovered the identity of your patron oh didn't he already say that oh I was I was inhaling more just to like breathe it felt like I should I was still out of breath I copied Fenton this is so funny this is really funny I'm simply building up to a significant enough dramatic moment sorry do it again do it again we'll inhale sorry do it again okay and he turns around here we go and he puts his hand up on the wall Corb is that you it is I children and he spins around and he's got sunglasses on oh wow you didn't even see my hands move did you no no you look mysterious children I have discovered the identity of your patron and the identity of your patron is and before he can finish you hear footsteps behind you hello children children I'm glad you finally figured it out Doris?

Doris? Doris We have much work to do children And that's where we're gonna end it for this week I'm your game master Sean O'Hara What? Joining me as always playing Franklin Stein the Cutter Paul Oppers Take care guys Playing Fenton Beasley the Slide Abdulaziz Wait so is she like Orange Julius or the Dairy Queen or what? What?

And playing Clover Ivy Fern Jessica Tai Bye This game would not be popular In most circles But thanks to you our beautiful Patreons and supporters We know that at least you like it And if you like it Please you know maybe tell your friends Give us a review on iTunes It might seem like an artifact of a bygone era But reviews on iTunes are surprisingly necessary And thank you to listener Quinn For the incredible Intro nutro music Yet again just an absolute Rollick and good time Thank you to Jansen for Smokey Yes thank you to Jansen for Smokey Thank you to Paul No not that one On our Discord for Dick Hotman Thank you to Claire For the name Hot Bob The main character of Fenton's latest vampire fan fiction She's gonna love that And if you want to Contribute some names and places To this episode of the show Absolutely fucking confusing world That we've created Join our Patreon And if you think that If you have a great idea for a name or a place In the High Spear Mall Join at the Very Fine Chef level And you can submit those names to us And maybe we'll use them in the show Thanks so much for listening everybody See you next time And so ends the tale Of the Cruel Treat Kids Always Always Always Always Always Always Always Always Always Always Always up to no good So tiny and greedy And angsty they be As they navigate crime and puberty And though our journey may be long By a conclusion We will not leave you without a resolution Return next week to the chocolate store As the Cruel Treat Kids plan their next score And for you I'll gladly spout more To give you the đâu To give you the đâu To give you the đâu really need you need you don't fucking leave Borbo Borbo's better than pay you in real money or chocolate it's up to you oh man there's more to this song but I'm gonna cut it off Borbo Borbo you're better than Crossbow Crossborbo Crossborbo that was fun that was awesome I love the sing-alongs yeah me too